The Wanderer - issue 119 - http://www.wwisc.co.uk/

Sir,
This is an open letter from football fans to all other football fans to commiserate upon the
sad and depressing news that Wycombe Wanderers were promoted to The Championship.
We League One teams, who play attractive, one-touch football across the whole pitch,
feel that on top of a worldwide pandemic we have been victims of a much more
pervasive virus that has infected our beautiful game. The archaic ‘taking three points’
and ‘winning games’ mindset that has polluted the English Football League mean a team
that no-one would willingly want to watch every week can enjoy a level of success that
frankly sticks in the craw of any right-minded devotee of Association Football.
They do not have to nurture a tortured flair player with silky skills, when some old Welsh
bloke with no pace can just whip the ball in off the goalkeepers top-knot from a corner.
Not for them the 27 passes from left to right across the field, looking for the perfect
opening, when the ball can simply be nicked off the foot and either lobbed up to some big
bloke or some little scrapping urchin and find its way into the back of the net. And rather
than standing back and admiring attacking guile, they cynically resort to blocking shots,
hoofing it out of the area, or running out from the back and launching it towards the
previously mentioned big bloke or scrapper.
Certainly, they seem to ‘like’ each other, score ‘goals’ and win ‘points’, but they will
now be plying their trade at a much higher level and receiving television revenue that is
rightly ours and it saddens us to see the state our wonderful game has been reduced to.
In the interests of unity in these troubled times, we hope that 'The Chairboys’ are found
out, get thrashed every week and Ainsworth’s hair goes grey.
Yours,
Too many Names and Addresses supplied. (You know who they are).
Dear Wycombe FC,
YOU’RE WELCOME! The mission that I first started in November 2003 has finally been
completed. You may have questioned my methods at the time, but I think we can now all
safely say that I was right, with the Chairmen promoted to Championship League.
I can guess a minority of you will now be droning on with nonsense like; “But Tone, you
left the club in 2004”, “You got us relegated” and “You are a complete mentalist who
thought Roger Johnson was a right winger and told Danny Senda off for eating an apple”,
but those people are crazy. Most Wickham fans know that I selflessly laid the foundations
that gave Gareth the relatively simple task of taking over a club several millions in debt,
steering it away from relegation to the Conference and guiding it to two promotions in
three years, all on a budget of £2.40 and a packet of Space Raiders.
No need to thank me, but if anyone knows of any clubs looking for a manager, please do
put my name forward (and maybe talk me up a bit).
T. Adams (London)
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