GRAND Fall 2021

I was right there beside them via text.
iPhones don’t faint, so I was good with
this. The greatest relief and thrill
came through a picture. Arlow is her
name.
Time to get down there. I thought I
could drive down, and that felt safe to
me. I even upgraded my car to something
more reliable, but the borders
were closed. Flying was the only option.
Yikes. When I saw all the hoops I
would have to jump through, my anxiety
said, I can’t do this. For about two
hours, I just sat and cried. It is funny
what anxiety can do; not only does it
shrink our ability to think creatively
and rationally, but it tries to stop us
from doing meaningful things. Once
my nervous system calmed down, the
mature and very new grandmother,
part of me, stepped up. When that
happened, nothing would stop me. I
was off.
I was thrilled to see Andrew at the
airport in Oregon. We were able to
catch up on the last seven weeks, the
hospital experience and debrief about
the trauma of childbirth from a different
angle than the mother. There
is so much that we aren’t prepared for
when we have a baby. It is something
that you just don’t get without the experience.
Arriving at their house was surreal.
I’m here now. I’m going to see my baby
and her baby. There are no words, just
grand-feelings.
For 12 glorious days, I vibrated with
love. I was awed by Lexy’s maternal
instincts and moved by Andrew’s care
for both his wife and his daughter. I
fell in love with Arlow, the most beautiful
baby on the planet, who looks so
much like me I’m surprised they didn’t
call her Allison. ;) Every time Lexy
thanked me for cooking or cleaning or
doing a baby shift, I told her it brought
me joy. She was beginning to understand
how wonderful it is for a mother
to love her daughter as I was experiencing
the grand-feelings of loving
them all.
grandmag.ca
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