The Art Of Tammy Bailey AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue R 2021 12

O C T O B E R | I S S U E N O . 2 1 0 1 1 2
AT FORTY FIVE
The Magazine For Women 45+
T H E A R T O F T A M M Y B A I L E Y
Halloween Edition:
Our 5 Top Movies
Is There a Healthy
Expression Of Anger
When You Need
A Healthy Meal

E D I T O R ' S N O T E S
Halloween does not seem the same. First, all my
children are grown up, and secondly, COVID has
certainly done a number on the festivities.
It happens though that orange is my favorite color
next to pink. Strange enough, it began with my
first pregnancy, my nesting instinct had me
buying orange everything. By the third child,
orange was in my psyche and I definitely feel
excitement at the sight of the bright color still.
I hit on some interesting trivia on the Halloween
orange globes. The city of Keene, New Hampshire,
according to Guinness World Records, had the
highest number of lit jack o'lanterns on display.
30,581 and it has broken the record 8 times over
since the original attempt in 2013.
As well in Vancouver, BC we had a recordbreaking
pumpkin this year, an amazing 1,911
pounds, although according to Giant Pumpkins
British Columbia, the world record is 2,323.7.
If you got it haunt it.
All week.
SHERRY KALLERGIS
“ H A L L O W E E N I S A D A Y I N W H I C H S O M E P E O P L E C H O O S E T O W E A R A M A S K ,
W H I L E O T H E R S F I N A L L Y F E E L S A F E T O T A K E T H E I R S O F F . ” ― S T E V E M A R A B O L I

C O N T E N T S
03
editor's notes
06
The art of tammy
bailey
14
halloween edition
our 5 top movies
16
Is There A Healthy
Expression Of
Anger?
20
When You Need A Healthy
Meal: Spicy Vegetables
& Chickpeas

Acadian Cabin In The Fall
by Tammy Bailey

THE ART OF
TAMMY
BAILEY
SHERRY KALLERGIS
/BY
Tammy Bailey is a self-taught artist and published
author. She originally started with acrylic and then
moved to mixed media before settling on
watercolor. Watercolors are affordable and
portable. They are easy to pack up and take
wherever you go, and you don’t need to fuss a lot to
get set up.
Tammy started painting when she attended a paint
night with her friend ten years ago. For the first few
years, she followed “Painting with Ellen” every few
weeks with a thirst to learn. In the process, she
learned to be fearless and not to be afraid to try.
With her children becoming adults and moving
out, she took over a bedroom, created a studio
space, and has never looked back. When she and
her husband downsized, they made sure to find a
new home with a large space for a studio.

Resplendant by Tammy Bailey

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /08
When Ellen retired from teaching paint nights,
several of the ladies who attended regularly
asked Tammy to start teaching art at paint
nights. Which she did for a few years.
“I hope to start again once we see the end of
this pandemic and to teach smaller groups in
my studio.
Paint nights are a wonderful way to be
creative. It’s a community of women (and
men) that come together to do something
that they’ve never tried before and have fun.
Also, the participants in these groups grow
together, bond, tell stories and share their
experiences. It is an honor to hear the women
share about their life, their hopes, and their
dreams. It is a really cathartic way to spend
three hours and decompress. Many of the
participants are just coming from work and
they just want to enjoy themselves for a few
hours. Personally, “I can’t think of anything
better to do.”
Tammy pretty much paints everything but she
loves landscapes, waterscapes, whimsical
animals, and painting commissions. “I really
love when people honor me with photos of
their family, and I get to capture those
intimate moments for them.”
Getting Started
“As a child, I was creative. As I got older, I
enjoyed doing crafts and sewing. At Christmas
family and friends would look forward to my
gifts because they were always handmade.
Then I started working with beads and
making jewelry. People absolutely loved them,
so I continued with jewelry passing my
creations forward in the way of gifts. I never
really pursued it on a commercial level.
I love music and played guitar from a young
age. I completed my first two years of a
Bachelor's in Music Degree in my late teens. I
returned to college in my 40’s and took a
Counselling Support Skills Program. With this
certification, I needed to do an extensive
practicum. This practicum took me to a local
women’s services where I was co-facilitating a
group of women with an amazing artist. Her
name is Deborah Putman. It was her art that
started to draw me into wondering if I could be
an artist. What I saw in her art and how she
expressed it inspired me to really want to
create in this way.
I co-facilitated with her for about 5 years in a
support group called “Women of Power And
Passion” through local women’s services in
White Rock, Canada. These women had come
from abusive backgrounds, and it was a huge
eye-opener for me. I was also at that time,
volunteering through the Elizabeth Fry Society
one day a week at a Support Recovery House.
That was a heartbreaking, eye-opening
experience. I learned some very humbling and
important life lessons. For a long time, I
thought I might become a counselor, but when
I am painting, I am my most authentic self.
I think the most important thing with my art
honestly, is being able to share the joy that I
experience while painting. Seeing the joy when
somebody connects to a piece of art that they
love, is passing forward joy in the truest sense.
It’s just so wonderful."
Growing Up
"I was born in Canada. My dad was a dreamer
and packed the family up and moved us to
Central America. I had a very interesting
childhood. We’re going back now 45 years. My

To Right:
Singular Sunflower
Watercolor 22 x 22
inches $250 CAD
Below:
Baja Fishing
Watercolor 8 x
10 inches with
matte $50 CAD
Safe and Warm Together
Acrylic on paper by Paddy Meade
Vancouver Island Cards
Watercolor and Pen 5 x 7 inches
$20 CAD set of 4 images

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /10
parents sold, everything. We bought a
Winnebago, and we drove down through the
states, Mexico, and into what is now known as
Belize.
We went to an English-speaking school
because it was at that time part of the British
colonies. It was a very different life from that of
being in Canada. At school, the boys went to
woodworking and the girls learned how to sew.
It was a wonderful adventure, but it certainly
was a culture shock going down and then also
coming home to Canada.
I believe I have an appreciation of different
cultures and I love to travel because of my
parent's adventures and misadventures.
One of my best memories was, there was this
bumpy road that went past where we were
staying. There were sugar cane fields all around.
The local kids taught us to go running to the
sharp corner where there was one bad bump.
The cane would fall off the open truck bed and
then we would all run out to grab pieces. Fights
ensued over who would get the best piece of
cane to chew on. There is nothing like fresh
sugar cane."
Finding Life Balance
"I think I’ve got a good balance in my life. I really
do enjoy my work in a very busy dental office,
but my art is very different from my work. The
art is more of the right side of the brain and my
work uses my left side.
(the inner circle is least fulfilled, and the outer
edge of the circle is optimum). Put a dot on
each segment of that pie where you are in
fulfillment and then connect those dots. It is a
great visual graph.
The low spots are where you need to nurture
yourself. I also think it goes back to having
healthy boundaries and learning to be able to
say no and feel comfortable with that. For a
long time, I would say yes to a lot of things that
I didn’t necessarily have the time or the energy
for, but I did it because I thought it was the
right thing to do. I understand now, it is
important to be able to say no and feel
comfortable with it. I do what nurtures me
because if I don’t take care of this person, and
I’m not helpful to anybody else."
Taking Running Up At Fifty
"I decided at the age of 50 to run my first
marathon. I had run on my own for several
years, completed several half marathons.
Wanting to run a full, I thought I should
connect with people that know what they’re
doing. I found a wonderful running club
“Peninsula Runners’ and I started to train for
my first marathon. They had a wonderful
It has been a journey to find balance quite
honestly. I always go back to what we taught in
our group. Draw a circle, divide it into key
components of your life in equal segments, like
a pie. For myself currently, I need to balance,
family, love, exercise, art, leisure, travel,
adventure, and health. Then rate each segment
Where The Flowers Grow Watercolor and
acrylic 11 x 7 inches $200 CAD

program with many amazing ladies that are
now, very dear friends. Some of these ladies are
in their 70’s and kick my butt. I hope to be like
them when I grow up!"
Getting To Know Tammy
Bailey
What has been an unexpected barrier and how
did you overcome it?
Honestly, it’s that inner critic. That little voice in
my head that I often need to correct. But at 59,
I spent too many years worrying about what
other people have thought about me. I’ve
learned to ask for help in all areas of my life. To
trust my inner strength and intuition.
If you could choose to meet anyone for lunch
who would it be?
I would choose my mother from whom I
inherited my creative and artistic talents. I
would love to compare notes. and ask her
why she never pursued them as I
understand how healing the artistic journey
has been for me and how sharing my art
gives me such great joy. Most of all just to
give her a big hug and say thank you.
What is the best advice you have ever
received?
It’s difficult two isolate it to one particular
piece of advice. However, in art, the best
piece of advice I ever received was to create
a space that was dedicated to creating art.
Thank you, Ellen Bradley Cheung.
What is something surprising about you that
most people don’t know?
I’ve been sober for more than 17 years. But
that’s a whole other story.
What is your key strength?
I believe that I am tenacious. Also, I’ve learned
to ask for help. It is difficult to grow in a
vacuum. And I have a wonderful community of
women who mentor me in life. Be it in art,
friendship, spirituality, emotional, or through
other activities. A wonderful husband, children,
grandchildren, and pets. This is my strength
and support.
When have you been most satisfied in life?
I choose today, to live in gratitude. I have not
always been grateful but today I am! With
gratitude comes huge satisfaction! And I have
my art!
What you would like to learn?
In no particular order; professional
photography, playing the flute, kayaking
Learn More
View and purchase Art By Tammy Bailey at
ROAM Gallery
Check out her website
TheArtOfTammyBailey.com
Instagram: the_art_of_tammy_bailey
Facebook: The-Art-of-Tammy-Bailey
Read more Audacious Women profiles
Contact info@atfortyfive.com

1. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966)
You do not need grandchildren to enjoy this
classic. Get into the Halloween spirit by taking a
trip down memory lane with Snoopy and the
gang.
2. The Adams Family (1991)
Who doesn’t love this scary family? We
just adore the matriarch extraordinaire
Anjelica Huston’s Morticia.
3. Hocus Pocus (1993)
Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and
Kathy Najimy bring their witchiness to
Salem Massachusetts on Halloween. The
world may never be the same.
4. The Haunted Mansion (2003)
Eddie Murphy delights in this comedy
that keeps you laughing with some really
neat special effects.
5. Halloween Kills (2021)
New to theaters and streaming this
season, this very scary movie is a
continuation of the classic David Gordon
Green’s Halloween. Not for the faint of
heart. Jamie Lee Curtis is also an
executive producer on this one.

Is There A
Healthy
Expression
Anger?
Of
/ by Sue Dumais

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE /15
We learn how to hate just the same way we
learn how to love. While love is our natural
state, our environment and external
programming determine how we deal with
our negative emotions as well as our capacity
to love.
Nelson Mandela said, "No one is born hating
another person because of the color of his skin,
or his background, or his religion. People must
learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they
can be taught to love, for love comes more
naturally to the human heart than its
opposite."
Anger, resentment, rage, and hatred are blocks
to love. Negative emotions come with a lot of
judgment or a fear of judgment. Many people
do not know how to process these heavy
negative emotions. Even those who have fits of
rage and outwardly express hate are doing so
because that is part of their learned
programming, but also because they don’t
know how to process their own negative
emotions in a healthy way.
Before I explain how we can process this
long-held accumulation of negative
emotions, I would like to explain the idea of
healthy and unhealthy expressions of
anger. When I was a child, I was taught that
anger was bad—to be angry was to be
violent. While I never experienced any
physical violence in my own home, I grew
to believe that anger equaled violence. My
interpretation of that falsehood was that
anger was unacceptable and shouldn’t be
outwardly expressed. I learned to hold it in
and bury it deep inside. I learned to bite my
tongue and swallow that bitter pill of
resentment.
These heavy emotions are becoming harder to
hide, contain within, and keep at bay. It is as
though a bubbling volcano is ready to erupt. In
fact, many people process anger that way.
Unexpressed anger becomes a cesspool of
resentment, which eventually becomes a bout
of rage. Eventually, the volcano needs to erupt.
When something happens in our environment
that bumps up against our accumulated
boiling cesspool of unexpressed feelings, it
causes us to blow up. Instead of feeling our
own unexpressed feelings, we project them
out into the world and cast our anger out as
words and/or violence.
"Unexpressed anger becomes a
cesspool of resentment, which
eventually becomes a bout of
rage."

It wasn’t until I was a student in an experiential
counseling program that I learned there were
healthy and unhealthy expressions of anger. At
first, I was baffled by this idea. It boggled my
mind. It was like someone telling me the sky
was purple and not blue as I had thought.
Then I felt a huge relief as though the world
had just been lifted off my shoulder. I could
finally learn how to release years of built-up
resentment and rage in a healthy way. Mostly, I
had directed my rage and hatred toward
myself. Self-blame, self-punishment, and selfdestructive
behaviors were my coping
mechanisms. In that moment of realization,
while sitting in the counseling program, I had
hope that one day I would be free of it. I was
determined to release every last bit of anger
and resentment. It was interfering with my
ability to love and receive love.
So what does a healthy expression of anger
look like? This is a question I tried on for years
personally as well as exploring it with my
clients. I have learned that even if we give
ourselves permission to express our anger
verbally at the moment that the energy of
anger can be processed in as little as fifteen
seconds. Something as simple as saying, “I am
feeling angry because ... ” is sometimes
enough to clear it from our mind and body.
It is important to just let the thoughts rise up
and out as words without censoring them and
feel the emotions behind the words. When we
do this, the words we say to ourselves are
meant to feel emotionally charged; that is how
we free ourselves from the anger and upset
behind them. Here are some examples of this
exercise; you can do it on your own.
“I feel angry because no one seems to care
about my needs and everyone is so selfish.”
"I feel angry because my parents never loved
me the way I wanted them to.”
“I feel angry because my boyfriend is cheating
on me.”
“I feel angry because my life is falling apart.”
“I feel angry because no one listens to me.”
Owning how we feel is empowering. There will
be times when we also need to voice our
upset or anger to others, which means finding
the courage to have those sweaty-palm
conversations with the individual directly.
Alternatively, it could mean talking about how
you feel with a trustworthy friend who can
hold space for you to express yourself.

AT FORTY FIVE MAGAZINE
/17
One of the most effective tools I offer my
clients to move anger and dense long-held
emotions, thoughts, and beliefs is an
“expression session.” This is where I hold space
for them to bring all their hidden thoughts
and beliefs into the light for healing. They get
to share, express, say, yell, scream, growl,
swear, and cry; they say whatever they need
to say in order to release what they are
holding inside. There is no conversation, just a
nonjudgmental space for expression. If the
anger is directed at a specific person or
situation, I encourage my client to use
language that makes it sound like they are
speaking directly to that individual.
This type of session is extremely cathartic as
all the unspoken thoughts and feelings that
have been plaguing a person come to the
surface and are released. It works well for
expressing all of our internal critical thoughts
as well. Sharing our negative critical self-talk
out loud exposes it and releases it. I often say
it is like throwing it all up. I encourage clients
to keep going until they feel as though they
have emptied it all out, to the point where
there is nothing left to say. Most of the time,
there is an underlying fear, grief, or a sense of
loss hidden beneath the anger. An expression
session is a powerful tool that requires a
compassionate witness who can be fully
present, nonjudgmental, and who won’t get
caught up in the words and the story. If you
need support in releasing anger or other
pent-up feelings, contact me for an
expression session.
to say. Once you feel you have emptied out all
the words onto paper, burn the copy or delete
it. I cannot stress this enough—it is for your
eyes only! When you burn the letter or delete it,
set an intention to let it all go. It may be helpful
to follow up your eff-you letter with a
forgiveness letter.
Stay tuned next week for chapter 8 ~ When Life
Bumps Up Against Your Leftovers
***This is an excerpt from Sue Dumais' book
"Stand UP Stand OUT Stand STRONG ~ A 30
Day Guide to Navigate Life When the SHIFT
Hits the Fan" (Published in 2018)
Published on atfortyfive.com with permission
from © Sue Dumais
Read More
Read more articles from Sue Dumais
Another way to release what is bottled up
inside you is to write an eff-you letter. It is a
letter to the individual that is NOT to be sent.
This is for your eyes only. Let it all out and say
what you have always wanted to say or need

Coming Soon