Music Leads The Dance Of Love AT FORTY FIVE Magazine Issue 2021 13

Maria Samara:
Music Leads The Dance Of Love

CONTRIBUTORS
CONTRIBUTORS
Gina Best
Author Welcome To The World
Marilyn Wilson
Author Meal Planning
Sherry Kallergis
Author Denim
Sue Dumais
Author When Life Bumps

EDITOR’S NOTES
I am reading this great book
by Sarah Knight called You Do
You. The title spoke to me last
Christmas. I bought it as a gift
for one of my children who I felt
could benefit from the lesson,
but the truth be told I wanted to
read it.
Often, epiphany moments
tend not to bring something
new to our realm but instead
raise something within our
consciousness. That is exactly
what this book is doing for me.
The first chapter has three
words on one page “There Is
04

Nothing” and when you turn the
page over it continues “Wrong
With You.”
How often do we tell ourselves
we are damaged goods? That
the result of something in our
past has left us broken?
Why do we think we are less
than when we started out in
life, even when we have learned
so much? I even use it when I
feel I am not measuring up to
an expectation I have placed
on myself.
The message is a timely
reminder I do not need any
excuses as to who, what, where or
why. It is exhilarating and freeing.
The quote this week reinforces
this important message. When
you are doing you, everything in
life falls into alignment. There is
no traffic in your lane. Don’t take
this to mean, there are no hills
or curves in the road. It means
there are no accidents.
Adopt it as your creed.
This week Be You, Do you, For
you!
Sherry Kallergis
When you are in your own lane, there is no traffic.
Ashley France
05

CONTENTS
08
Welcome to The World
According to Gina:
Work In Progress
Cover
Maria Samara:
Music Leads The
Dance Of Love
14

30
6 Unexpected Ways
To Add Denim
To Your Fall Looks
35
When Life Bumps Up
Against Your Leftovers
A “Recipe” To Solve
Your Meal Planning
Quandry
40

TALK TECH
Welcome to The World
According to Gina:
Work In Progress
by Gina Best
I am a work in
progress but I have
some wisdom to
share. That is why I am
starting this column
“Welcome to The World
According to Gina” with
a podcast to follow at
some point.
08

I am going to share my unique outlook
with you. Sometimes it may be personal
experiences, and sometimes it may be fullon
rants about different things. It’s my view
on things.
We are going to start with signs.
As I brush my teeth, I look at it. Even
though I have read it so many times I know it
by heart, I still read it twice a day.
I remember the day my bestie gave it to
me. I opened it, and my heart sang. It speaks
to me. To the way, I operate – give it all and
then some.
Somedays, the feeling isn’t as strong as it
was back then. Some mornings when I read it,
I feel like I am letting myself down.
Like everyone, the last 18 months have been
a challenge for me. From homeschooling,
trying not to lose my mind being at home with
two teenage boys and two dogs. Juggling
working, kids, and keeping my shit together
has been interesting. It is the perfect time
to acknowledge the fact that I am a work in
progress and I don’t have all the right answers.
For the first 14 months of this new normal,
I found ways to keep it together. It was a lot of
exercise, going for walks, riding my bike, and
09

gardening. I made a big decision
in January to do something I
really wanted, I wanted to be
able to work anywhere with or
without the boys, and they still
like spending time with me and
we love to camp. So, I traded in
my VW Beetle and bought an SUV
that would pull a travel trailer. We
had one for years and I had just
started to get comfortable taking
it by myself, yet I had to give it
up the divorce settlement, yet I
wasn’t going to let that stop me.
I found a great little one and
I bought it! I remember driving
home – terrified and so excited.
Oh, the adventures I was going
to have. The first two were
fantastic, one with just me and
the dogs and one with the boys.
I was so proud of myself – this
was a massive deal for me and
so out of my comfort zone, yet
I wasn’t going to let it stop me.
The first time I had to hook it up
it took me about 12 tries to get
the car in place and I can’t back
it up into my driveway yet (ok I
am not very good at backing it
up at all).
Then on our third trip, I had
an accident. I fell out of the trailer
and did major damage to my
knee. An ambulance ride to the
hospital and then emergency
surgery later that week.
On The Sofa For Months
That was just the start. I
was on the sofa for months.
The first six weeks my sister
dropped everything, flew across
the country, and took care of
me. I didn’t see my bedroom or
bathroom for almost 11 weeks, it
was upstairs, and I couldn’t do
the stairs.
I did a pretty good job with
keeping it together for the first
eight weeks or so but once my
sister had to go, I was home alone
a lot (I do a week on week off
custody with my boys), couldn’t
drive, couldn’t go upstairs,
couldn’t get a shower – it is brutal
when you have to call a friend to
10

have a shower and we had one of
the hottest summers on record.
This was when it was the hardest
for me. I would just do the bare
minimums when it came to
pretty much everything - I wasn’t
motivated to do anything, yet I
was so tired of not doing nothing
- such a catch 22.
There was a comment on a
Facebook post I made – she told
me she found breaking her leg
and loss of mobility harder than
breast cancer. That made me
stop and think. Was this harder
than Breast Cancer for me?
Having to let go of my left boob
really messed with me for a
long time, and this was messing
with me yet in a different way.
Almost five months later, I am
still rehabbing and there is
more to come.
The Sign For Me
The day I went upstairs for the
first time and brushed my teeth,
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I read my sign. Then I cried – I
had forgotten, and I am still in the
process of remembering. The
physical rehab is one thing; the
emotional part is another. I will tell
you, there were days I would get
out of bed and then cry. This was
a common occurrence – usually,
when this happens, I know that if
I work out, it will shift, but when I
can’t work out, I have a tough time
making this go away. In August,
I had a chance of scenery, which
really helped but didn’t solve it all
together, and it is still going yet
not nearly as much.
I now have the sign on my
wall and my desktop. I use it as a
reminder for me. It has to help me
bring back my motivation, why I
did what I do. It also reminds me
that it is up to me what I choose.
Some days I can work a lot and
be super productive, some days,
not so much and that is ok. I
remember then I am a work in
progress.
you?
So why am I sharing this with
I know that I am not the only
one who has a hell of 18 months.
And, I know that I am not the
only one who may or may not
cry every day. But, I am just one
woman who is really ok to tell it
like it is. I don’t put on a face that
everything is FINE (OMG, I hate
that word more than anything
and I have a slogan – you can
see it on www.gina.best). I sure
don’t have all the answers yet I
know what works for me and my
clients, so I will share some of my
tips and tricks here. Some may
work for you; some may not.
Find A Sign That
Works For You
Find yourself a sign that
works – the one I talk about here
is not the only one I have, I love
signs, yet the sign has to speak to
you. You need to get that tingly
12

feeling when you read them. For
you, it may not be a sign. It could
be a picture, a quote, a poem –
whatever it is, put it somewhere
you can read it at least once a
day.
Stop beating yourself up – we
are so mean to ourselves, and
that is not ok. We are doing the
best that we can with where we
are, and guess what – that is ok.
Do something that takes you
out of your comfort zone every
day if you can. Our comfort zone
is a prison we create for ourselves.
Right now, mine is walking up
and down my driveway (inclines
are really hard for me, and I am
terrified I am going to fall, but I
won’t let that stop me
Take some time for yourself
to do something that brings you
joy. I know I have been missing
this a lot lately, and I am working
on it. Find those moments, a
snuggle with your kid or dog, a
laugh with your friends, a bath,
and a bad show – whatever it is –
let yourself have it.
Find a theme song – I have
songs that run through my head
for so many things, and this really
keeps me going at times.
I know that these few things
will not make all our challenges
and feelings go away yet that
are a few that you can do that I
know work.
Learn More
Feel free to reach out to Gina
for support – gina@gina.best.
Read our Audacious Woman
profile on Gina
Read more wisdom from Gina.
13

AUDACIOUS WOMAN
Maria Samara:
Music Leads The
Dance Of Love
by Sherry Kallergis Editor
14

“Early one morning, at 7 am,
she starts asking for me. On my
arrival at the hospital, the staff
asked me to go to her immediately.
I go, and she tells me “today I want
to sing a song with you. “ It seemed
to me that she had a plan. She was
only eight.
We came up with an improvised
song together. This beautiful
little girl starts singing about the
beauty around her. The trees,
the birds, the clouds, the music.
From things, she moves to the
significant others in her life. Her
mom, her dad, her family, the
hospital, the nurses, everyone she
knew. It was more than clear to
me that this was a farewell song.
Her way to sing “Goodbye”. She
sang for a while, and I agreed
to bring her song back the next
day. By morning she passed away.”
15

Maria Samara is a Music
Therapist, MA-SFMT, FAMI ,
EAMI accredited GIM Therapist,
.sharing a glimpse into the world
of Music Therapy, her rewarding
practice, and the blessings that
transpire.
We are chatting, and she is
answering my question about
what the outcomes of music
therapy are.
The Sound of Music
Working in Mt. Sinai Hospital
in New York, Maria also worked
with babies born with severe
medical issues or other afflictions.
Music helped babies cope with
pain, and in a way provided the
“hug”, security, and safety on
behalf of the mothers.
Maria is passionate and in
love with what she is doing.
Her path in life is guided by
music. Growing up in a musical
environment, Maria was blessed
with two loving, caring, and
giving parents and challenging
and sometimes hard life.
16

She was raised to love life
with passion, to always follow her
heart, and be brave to fight for
whatever mattered to her and for
whatever she believed in.
The Dance Of Love
“I was working in New York
in a home with elderly suffering
from Alzheimer. This one lady,
already deep into the pathology,
“My mind fills with
many vivid images
from my work. This
one was when I
was working with
children suffering
from life-threatening
illnesses. I had been
working with her for
a while. The view
outside of her hospital
room was looking
over Central Park in
New York and she
loved to watch the
birds in the trees
and clouds moving
through the sky.”
required everyone who came
into her presence to re-introduce
themselves. I met her daughter
and was struck by the daughter
needing to introduce herself to
her mother.”
Both Maria and I lost our
mothers. We spent a moment
talking about the pain of not
having our mothers to hug, to
hold, to talk to. We agreed that
sometimes the pain of the loss
seems easier to handle, than
physically having your mother
to hug and hold but without the
realization of bond and reality of
connection.
17

“I asked the daughter to
share with me a few of the
songs that related to her
mother’s past and their
family life and invited her
to join in the next session. I
started playing the songs and
suggested the daughter ask
her mother to dance. They
armed themselves and after
a few seconds, they look
into each other’s eyes. As if
a veil raises, the daughter
sees her mother recognize
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and understand her as her
daughter. The mother speaks
her daughter’s name, and they
start crying and hugging each
other.
I didn’t want to stop the
music. They had this connection
of their life together, once again
they were mother and daughter.
I repeated the song more than a
few times and when I could see
the mother becoming exhausted,
I brought it to an end. Within
seconds the recognition was
gone.”
Maria tapes all of her sessions,
so that loved ones can share such
electric and precious moments.
A recording like this has always
been a valuable and priceless
keepsake especially for the
families of people who suffered
life-threatening illnesses and
faced death and loss.
Finding Her Calling
Maria was 3 when her visually
impaired sister was born. Music
was a way of coping with many
issues related to her sister’s
medical condition. Maria had
to spend a lot of time with her
grandparents as her parents
were gone for periods of time
treating her sister.
At five and a half, she
performed her first solo and
it was natural that she chose
to be a music teacher. As
19

she studied, she wondered
whether and how music could
help her sister. That was how
she came across Music Therapy
for the first time.
“I remember clearly the
16th of September 1995. It was
2:30 in the afternoon. I called
my mother to say “I am flying
to New York to become a Music
Therapist.”
That started her career
and life journey through many
countries, institutions, medical
and mental health settings.
Maria found her calling but is
still feeding the creative part
of herself through performing,
singing, and composing when
possible. Music provides solace,
a creative place to express
emotions, to recollect, and be.
Life Is A Journey
Even with such a stellar career,
Maria considers her two beautiful
daughters to be her life’s greatest
achievement. For Maria, being a
mother is the most challenging
and the same time the most
rewarding job.
“Providing for our kids is a
constant struggle. As parents,
we are there to support and
hold, to teach and guide our
kids. We grow together, we
learn together, we fail and
win together, we cry and
laugh together. We guide
their steps, we support their
dreams, we encourage them
when they fight their own
battles. Seeing them happy,
and content with their own
20

choices becomes our life goal.
After being left with a
handicapped sister and
working for many years with
children suffering chronic or
life-threatening illnesses, I
experience their physical and/
or emotional pain and the pain
and frustration in their parent’s
eyes. I have come to realize
what matters for me the most
and what I come to wish most
of all for my kids, is for them to
be healthy.
Teaching them to value,
appreciate, and acknowledge
life to its full, became for me a
life task.”
21

Being A Woman
Is A Challenging Task
Maria and I talked about being
a woman in these times and I
asked if she had any advice for
women contemplating change.
“I don’t feel wise enough
or in a position to give
out any advice. I would
just like to share a piece of
experience with all of you out
there, hoping that it might help
you understand my perspective
and relate.
So, what I know is
that being a woman
has always been a
challenging task, maybe even
more through the years. We,
as women, not only have taken
on so many different roles,
but we tend to put ourselves
in a constant struggle, if not
in a battle against ourselves,
trying to prove, that we are
capable enough to perform
all these different roles, the
best way possible. We are
trying to be the best mothers,
the best housewives, the best
and most attractive wives, the
best businesswoman, and so
on. What we all tend to ignore
22

though, of course until is too
late sometimes, is that what
is really at stake, is us and us
only. Our relationships, our
happiness, our peace of mind,
if not our health.
I still remember my
grandmother asking me when
I would tell her that I am so
happy in life referring to my
job, and career choices: “Yes,
but is that really enough? Is
that what life is all about? Is
this what YOU are all about?”
It’s been a long time since
my grandmother shared
these words of wisdom with
me. Things have changed
for me a lot since then. Lifewise,
workwise. What I realize
now is that most of us, share
a common, ground feeling
of what we are looking for,
of what we are hoping, of
what we need, what we are
striving for in life. That is being
healthy, (both physically and
mentally), being happy and
content. Being able to live life
to its full potential. Be the best
version of ourselves. Enjoy
every day, be open to the here
and now, have better control
over life, experience positive
23

elationships, gain insight and
inner peace.’
Give Up
The Power Woman Role
“For myself, things changed
when I decided to debunk
this “power woman” role in
my life and made allies with
all the significant others in
my life. My man, my kids, my
friends, my extended family.
You see, life is not a oneman
show, and we should all
put our efforts together and
invest in keeping everything
together in our common lives.
It’s not always easy, I know. It
can be challenging and needs
constant work and effort.
For me, life is all about
giving and taking respect,
trust, support, and love.
Things like sharing, holding,
listening, feeling, and being,
unconditionally in any type
24

of written or spoken contract. It is about being
creative and open, about grasping the moment,
about living every day like a new day. And it is
about walking through life, trusting that you
can make it, no matter what, as long as, you are
together with the ones you love.
All people, as kids, adolescents, and adults we
receive advice. How to be, how not to be.”
Maria shares that often it is not just one piece
of advice that lights our life path. For her, it was
an attitude. Life is a give and take, we give love
to take love. She shares some insight into what
helps bring harmony in her life:
Be A Realist
“There is no “absolute” happiness. Life brings
everything; the good and the bad, the happy and
the sad, the laughter and the pain. Life is about
balance. We should take nothing for granted and
certainly, nothing of value comes without struggle.”
Make Time for Those That Matter
“We need the people we love. One must make
more quality time with and for the ones that matter.
Only then, life can be full, challenging, and most of all,
rewarding.”
25

26

Go “Fake Free”
“I use this as a personal
motto to all of my Creativity
Empowerment Workshops and
to all of my interviews. I think
that as women, we have gone a
long way to realize that one of the
most important things towards
being happy and free is to let go
of all Fake in life. To go Fake Free.
There are times in life when
we must compromise with
everything “fake” around us,
and that can be challenging
and sometimes even painful.
“ What I realize is that getting
rid of everything fake in my life,
was one of the most rewarding,
revitalizing, and liberating
experiences in my life! I feel free.”
Continue to Learn
“Learning goes well
beyond getting academic
knowledge and adding new
credentials behind your name.
Life itself is a learning and a
growing experience. We learn
something new every day.
Can you ever hold the sand?
No. As there is always more
to hold and still it is always
seeping away. Such is learning.
You learn from the people
around you, from your kids,
from your clients. You learn
from your mistakes and the
process of living itself. All its
circumstances.”
As we close our time,
Maria quotes Osho “…to be in
love with life, means that you
want to enhance its beauty.
You want to bring a little more
music to it, a little more poetry
to it, a little more dance to it”!
27

Learn More
What Is Music Therapy?
An established health
profession that can provide
you and your loved ones with
a safe environment where
music is used to address
the physical, emotional,
cognitive, and social needs
of individuals.
Music Therapy:
How It Works
A treatment plan is
created, and the long and
short-term goals are set,
after assessing the needs,
but most of all the strengths,
as we tend to focus and
begin from them in order to
reach our therapeutic goals.
The treatment plan can
include creating, singing,
moving to, and/or listening to
music. Clinical Improvisation is
the main tool in Music Therapy
practice. As clients’ abilities
strengthen it transfers to
other areas of their lives. Music
therapy can provide avenues
for communication to those
who cannot or find it difficult to
express themselves orally. The
work itself and the outcomes are
very powerful.
About Maria
Reach Maria through her
Reach Maria through her website.
Follow Musiking Studio Music
Therapy Services on Facebook.
Maria’s extensive working
experience includes people of
all ages dealing with life-altering
realities including psychiatric,
abuse, drugs, HIV, cancer, cerebral
palsy, developmental disabilities,
emotionally disturbed, visually
28

impaired, autistic, Down
syndrome, and people with
Dementia.
She has practiced in
health settings including
Psychiatric Hospitals,
Institutions, Schools, Day-
Care Centers, Rehabilitation
Centers, Homes for people
with Dementia and
private practice, in New
York, Greece, and now in
Switzerland.
Maria speaks three
languages, English,
German and Greek
She has participated in
research papers on Music
Therapy and GIM in many
Psychiatric Conferences
is a guest lecturer in
Universities, Training
Programs, Hospitals, and
Centers for children with
special needs.
29

LOOK BEAUTIFUL
6 Unexpected Ways To
Add Denim
To Your Fall Looks
by Sherry Kallergis
Let’s go ahead and say it: autumn is the quintessential time
to dust off our trusted denim pieces. Sure, there is an array of
different options, from figure-flattering jeans, and jackets to and
skirts, however, 2021 is the perfect opportunity to branch out and
try new, exciting things. We all love a good denim style moment
— even more so when this forever staple takes the different,
pleasantly unexpected forms. Consider denim as one of the most
versatile, easy-to-wear, and effortlessly cool ways to upgrade your
wardrobe arsenal.
Sometimes, navigating the jean-filled terrain might be a
hard task. Take a look at the list below to discover some fantastic
alternative denim ideas to spice up all your future fall looks.
30

1. The classic women’s fashion staple:
denim jackets
When it comes to women fashion, everyone’s wardrobe
should include a healthy dose of all-year-round pieces. Our
trusted denim jackets serve as the ultimate outwear of
choice for those chilly-weather days that don’t require heavyduty
outwear — yet. Opt for a classic jacket with a stand
collar, flat seams, and side pockets. Dark-coloured denim
jackets are the perfect option for all your future fall looks as
they match seamlessly with pretty much every other shade.
NORDSTOM
TORRID
WAREHOUSE
FASHION
31

2. A denim dress or midi skirt
Demin midi skirts are also a great transition piece for fall.
Lightweight and breathable,
yet able to keep you warm when the wind starts to blow
out of nowhere, this style is a perennial must-have that
seamlessly fits into your wardrobe. Dress it up with a
button-up shirt and a
pair of ankle boots, or keep it casual with a chunky knit and
a pair of comfy sneakers.
The best denim dresses for autumn are equal parts
figure-flattering and weather appropriate. The options are
seemingly endless. From retro-style long denim dresses
with full-length sleeves to short, sleeveless dresses that are
perfect for layering with turtlenecks,
the list goes on and on.
TORRID NORDSTROM NORDSTROM NORDSTROM
32

Denim Accessories
3. Denim Earrings
DENIM
EARRINGS
If you are a fan of statementmaking
accessories, there are many
unexpected ways you can incorporate
denim into your daily fall looks.
These recycled denim earrings offer
a chic, yet bold way to upgrade your
jewelry game without adding the
help of gold or silver metals. This
pair looks absolutely beautiful with
monochromatic outfits.
4. 90s-inspired
denim clutch
Now that our beloved 90s are
having a major moment, we have
yet another excuse to add a denim
clutch to your daily outfits. From
afternoon strolls in the city, to parties,
events and everywhere in between,
this dashing folder clutch serves the
ultimate effortlessly chic vibes.
CLUTCH
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5. Denim aprons
Granted, when we think of
aprons, denim doesn’t come to mind,
however, for every woman who
wants to experiment with unforeseen
fabrics to protect their clothes in
style, this one is definitely for you.
From cooking, drawing, and painting,
to gardening, no one is stopping
us from incorporating our beloved
denim fabrics into pretty much every
aspect of our daily lives.
APRON
6. Upgrade your
fall looks with denim
scrunchies
SCRUNCHIES
Finally, If you are stuck in a denim
rut, there is yet another stellar way to
snap out of it while also enhancing
your fall looks: denim scrunchies. Unlike
hair ties, scrunchies don’t cause hair
breakage. The best part? There is a
myriad of different fabrics to choose
from including our favourite denim. It
can double as the ultimate accessory if
you decide to wrap it around your wrist
for future use.
34

DISRUPT LIFE
When Life Bumps Up
Against Your Leftovers
by Sue Dumais
35

Our life is a classroom
designed for our healing and
for waking each of us up to be
a full expression of our true Self.
It is designed to trigger us, jolt
us, pinch us, knock us down,
empower us, and propel us into
inspired action. Life is happening
for us.
Life is a gift that brings up
to the surface all of our leftover
unresolved issues, resentments,
emotions, and traumas so we
can look at them and heal them
fully and completely. It is also
designed for us to remember
the truth of who we are. All of the
triggers and upsets are simply
blocks to love. When we process
those bumps in the road we learn
how to love deeply once again.
The key is to embrace each one
and process and heal all of them,
leaving no stone unturned.
Last night I watched a movie
on Netflix called To the Bone.
It was a story about a twentyyear-old
girl with anorexia. As I
watched the movie, I felt a deep
connection to her daily struggles
in obsessing about food and
fighting her internal demons.
My heart sank when everyone
around her kept telling her to just
eat, thinking that was the issue.
Every time I heard someone say
something about food, I heard
myself say, “It’s not about food.”
The internal workings of an
eating disorder are complicated
and even though food is the
point of focus, it is not the root
issue.
As the movie continued, I
was reminded of the internal
workings of my own battle with
anorexia and bulimia in my late
teens and early twenties. I could
relate so much to the story and
I felt a deep empathy when the
girl spiraled down in weight
so much that she was close to
dying.
During one scene at the very
36

end, tears started pouring out of
my eyes as though a faucet had
been turned on. I started bawling
and sobbing uncontrollably. Yes, I
was crying about the movie, but I
was crying about all my leftovers. I
felt a raw vulnerability and a deep
surrender as a layer of grief, loss,
and defeat washed up through
me. I remember my lowest point,
physically and emotionally. I
remember when I hit rock bottom
and my eating disorder spiraled
out of my control. I remember
curling up in a ball on the floor and
praying for something, someone to
reach out their hand and help me
out of the dark hole I had buried
myself in. I had been yearning for
someone to pick me up and rock
me gently and tell me I was going
to be okay.
As I am writing this, more tears
are flowing. I am reminded of the
image I was upholding during
that time. I was a Registered
37

Veterinary Technician who had
graduated with honors and
received several awards. I was
a part-time fitness instructor
teaching others how to be
healthy and fit, and my biggest
secret—something I hid for years
and was convinced I had control
over—was suddenly taking over
my entire life. The most painful
thing for me was my fear that
I couldn’t keep it hidden and
secret. It was as though I was
living a double life, pretending
to be one way, yet living in an
internal hell at the same time.
When I woke up this morning,
I pulled some angel cards. I
received the words “authenticity,
strength, and transformation.”
As I tuned in for messages
around these cards, I saw myself
writing about my experience of
watching the movie. I hesitated
and resisted for a moment.
Then I heard the words “raw
authenticity is transformational.”
So I gathered my strength and
courage and began this chapter.
As I continue to create space
for the leftover tears, loss, grief,
heaviness, judgment and fear to
wash up, I feel deeply vulnerable.
In one way it feels like a lifetime
ago; on the other hand, at this
moment it is real, raw, and fresh.
So I allow space to feel that as
well. I am willing to feel it all to
heal it all. I don’t want to carry any
of it anymore. So I will continue
to allow the emotions to express
themselves, and the feelings to be
felt, and the judgments to wash
up and out of the deep recesses
of my mind until there is nothing
left. I will leave no stone unturned.
When life bumps up against
our leftovers, let it. Embrace it.
It is an opportunity and a gift in
disguise. It requires our courage
to face it and to ask for help, our
willingness to feel it, and our
strength to surrender so we can
let it go.
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So the next time you feel
triggered, stop and take a breath,
look within and ask yourself, “What
am I really feeling underneath this
trigger?” Be willing to look deeper
than at the obvious feeling at the
surface layer.
Ask yourself, “What leftover
is trying to rise up inside me for
healing?” Look at the thoughts
and memories that are rising up
with it. They will point to what you
are meant to heal. Then create
some space for the expression
and release all of it. Freedom is
just on the other side of feeling.
When we use our life as our
classroom, we can embrace all
of life’s experiences with the
intention to awaken our greatest
expression of self. We will feel a
deep sense of purpose and find
meaning in every moment of
every day.
When we clear all our own
leftovers and our obstacles to
love, we can be compassionate
witnesses to others. We can hold
them tenderly and authentically
in their most vulnerable
moments, and we can reassure
them they are going to be okay.
We can express true compassion
and empathy for others and that
is a recipe that will unite us in
love for each other.
Stay tuned next
week for chapter 9 ~
Asking for Help Is an Act of
Courage
***This is an excerpt from
Sue Dumais’ book “Stand
UP Stand OUT Stand
STRONG ~ A 30 Day Guide
to Navigate Life When
the SHIFT Hits the Fan”
(Published 2018)
Published on atfortyfive.
com with permission from
© Sue Dumais
39

TALK TECH
A “Recipe” To Solve
Your Meal
Planning Quandry
by Marilyn R. Wilson
40

Creating meals is both a
blessing and a curse. When
you have a great idea, a new
recipe to try, or people over for
dinner with weeks to plan, shop
and prep – it can be fun. Where
cooking becomes a burden
for me is coping with the daily
grind of what to eat. This was
especially true back when I
had small children underfoot.
Figuring out what to serve for
breakfast, lunch (at home and
bag lunches for school), dinner,
and snacks every day, 365 days a
year, was an exercise in patience.
I assume a few people might
embrace it with joy, but for most
of us, it wears thin.
What I learned about cooking
at home was limited. My mum
was raised in the Midwest on
a farm, then spent her early
married years in a very small town
there. Global food distribution
was minimal, so food was basic
and seasonal, with lots of canned
and frozen veggies and “salads”
made from Jello. When we
moved to the West Coast, her
cooking expanded, but not as
much as you would think. That
was the era of women starting
to work outside the house, so
convenience food like casseroles
using canned soup, Shake-N-
Bake, and TV dinners was all the
rage. We also didn’t have money
for fancy restaurants where we
might have been exposed to
more diverse dishes.
Hence, I am mostly selftaught
and often find myself
intimidated by the skills of
those around me who seem
so comfortable creating meals
from what resides in their fridge.
Recipes have been my saving
grace. It took years of trial and
error to finally figure out when
reading a recipe what might work
and what might not be so great;
to figure out what mattered and
what didn’t if you were missing
41

cook for only two. I lost interest
when I didn’t have five mouths
to fill and every recipe made way
too much. Even worse, when I
now tried to wing a meal without
a recipe, I ended up with a dish
large enough to serve at least ten.
Turning The Corner;
A Recipe For Meal
Planning Success
an ingredient, and to be brave
enough to try to create a few of
my own dishes with no recipe.
While I still don’t feel very
confident, over time I slowly have
become more comfortable in the
kitchen. The pressure did ease
when my kids became teens who
took care of their own breakfast
and lunch. I only had to deal with
what was for dinner. However, a
new challenge lurked just around
the corner. It was called an empty
nest. I no longer knew how to
A couple of things have
helped me turn the corner – well
most days. First is watching the
occasional cooking show. There
are so many to choose from such
as Trisha’s Southern Cooking,
and The Pioneer Woman. They
both use too much butter, cream
cheese, and sugar for me, but I
often walk away with the germ of
an idea. I also check the recipes
in the food section of our local
newspaper for ideas. Some of
my most interesting dishes have
come from here.
42

Last but not least, and
probably my current favorite, is
thanks to my daughter. She also
found it hard to come up with
inspiration for supper every night,
so found an app called Mealime.
After encouraging me to give
it a try for over a year, I finally
downloaded the free version into
my phone and started exploring.
I absolutely loved the unique
ideas and wide range of ethnic
dishes. Most are also fairly simple
to prepare. Mealtime can also be
accessed on your computer at
www.mealime.com.
43

Every recipe showcases a
beautiful image of how to plate
the dish when serving (something
that’s helped me really up my
presentation game), the option to
choose between 2-4-6 servings, a
list of kitchen items needed, a list
of food ingredients, and step by
step cooking directions. There is
a search option to help you find
the right recipes – meat, veggies,
vegetarian, vegan, soup, rice
bowl. You can also set up a meal
plan for the week, say 4 recipes
you want to use, and the app will
create your shopping list for you.
If you use the app on your cell
phone, then your shopping list
will always make it to the store
with you.
Like all things, I wax and wane
on using Mealime. Some weeks I
pick several recipes to try. Other
weeks I don’t use it at all as I have
lots of ideas of my own or want to
mix it up by getting recipes from
other sources. Some recipes I like
better than others, but I have yet
to try a recipe that didn’t work
out. My two current favorites are
the Bell Pepper and Goat Cheese
Polenta with Roasted Veggies,
and the Vegan Beet “Poke” Bowl
with Edamame, Snap Peas,
Carrots, and Sesame Mayo. A few
other I’ve enjoyed are Japanese-
44

Style Broccoli Slaw Pancake
with Sausage and Spicy Turkey
Meatballs with Mashed Yams
and Apple/Carrot Slaw. Yum!
If you’re feeling stuck in a
cooking rut if you can’t figure out
what to make for dinner if you’re
feeling the pull to learn about
different cuisines, try more plantbased
meals, try new ingredients
or just have your shopping list
made for you – the Mealime app
is a great option. Start with the
free version and then if it really
hits the mark for you, I suggest
you upgrade to the pro version.
Remember, this is just a tool
to use when you feel like it or to
get ideas to use to inspire your
own variation. And be sure to
take guilt-free nights off from
cooking. If you have a fairly wellstocked
fridge and pantry, then
the occasional night where
everyone in the house just
grazes will be a welcome change.
No one will starve. Trust me.
Learn More
Visit Mealime
Find more Eat Delicious
solutions
Learn more about the
Contributor Marilyn R.
Wilson
Read more articles
from Marilyn
MARILYN R. WILSON
IS A FREELANCE WRITER,
PUBLISHED AUTHOR AND
SPEAKER WITH A PASSION
FOR INTERVIEWING. HER
CAREER AS A WRITER
BEGAN IN AN UNUSUAL
WAY – BY ANSWERING
A CRAIGSLIST AD. THE
WORLD SHIFTED WHEN
SHE CONDUCTED HER
FIRST INTERVIEW.
Website – Instagram
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Linkedin – Youtube
45

There is no “absolute” happiness.
Life brings everything; the good
and the bad, the happy and the
sad, the laughter and the pain.
Life is about balance. We should
take nothing for granted and
certainly, nothing of value comes
without struggle.
Maria Samara