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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

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ACT TWO, SCENE NINE

HOGWARTS, STAIRCASE

ALBUS pursues HARRY across the stage.

ALBUS: What if I run? I’ll run.

HARRY: Albus, get back in bed.

ALBUS: I’ll run away again.

HARRY: No. You won’t.

ALBUS: I will — and this time I’ll make sure Ron can’t find us.

RON: Do I hear my name?

RON enters on a staircase, his side parting now super-aggressive, his robes just a little bit

too short, his clothes now spectacularly staid.

ALBUS: Uncle Ron! Thank Dumbledore. If ever we needed one of your jokes it’s now . . .

RON frowns, confused.

RON: Jokes? I don’t know any jokes.

ALBUS: Of course you do. You run a joke shop.

RON (now supremely confused): A joke shop? Well now. Anyway I’m pleased I caught you. I was

going to bring some sweets — for a, uh, sort of, a, get well soon, but, uh . . . Actually Padma

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