Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

ALBUS: Right. Me next.
SCORPIUS: No. No way, José. If we’re doing this, we’re doing it (he puts on a pair of familiarlooking
glasses with a smile) together.
ALBUS: Three. Two. One.
They swallow.
No, that’s good. (He’s racked with pain.) That’s less good.
They both start to transform and it’s agonizing.
ALBUS turns into RON, SCORPIUS into HARRY.
The two look at each other. There’s a silence.
ALBUS/RON: This is going to be slightly weird, isn’t it?
SCORPIUS/HARRY (full of drama — he’s really enjoying this): Go to your room. Go straight to your
room. You’ve been an incredibly awful and bad son.
ALBUS/RON (with a laugh): Scorpius . . .
SCORPIUS/HARRY (tossing his cloak over his shoulder): It was your idea — I be him and you be
Ron! I just want to have a little fun before I . . . (And then he burps loudly.) Okay, so that’s
utterly horrible.
ALBUS/RON: You know, he hides it well, but Uncle Ron’s got a bit of a gut growing.
DELPHI/HERMIONE: We should go — don’t you think?
They emerge onto the street. They enter a telephone box. They dial 62442.
TELEPHONE BOX: Welcome, Harry Potter. Welcome, Hermione Granger. Welcome, Ron Weasley.
They smile as the telephone box disappears into the floor.