Natural Awakenings Twin Cities February 2022

Intimately connecting with a loved one is one of life’s most
precious gifts, but it’s easy to lose sight of our innate sensual
energy in the maze of the mundane. Through lovemaking,
we can harness our life force, and according to abundant
research, reduce the risk of heart disease, lower blood pressure,
manage pain and improve brain health. A significant correlation
also exists between higher ejaculation frequency and a
reduced risk for prostate cancer later in life, Boston University
researchers report in European Urology.
Making love is also good for boosting our natural immunity.
College students that engaged in amorous activity once or twice a
week—especially with long-term partners—had 30 percent higher
levels of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva, concluded
research by Wilkes University, in Pennsylvania.
Stripping Down to Basics
A few lifestyle adjustments can do wonders for worn-out romance.
Quality sleep itself can be a potent aphrodisiac. Women
are more likely to be “in the mood” after a good night’s sleep,
even with just an extra hour of shut-eye, according to a 2015 pilot
study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
Therapist Kurt Smith, clinical director of Guy Stuff Counseling
and Coaching, in Roseville, California, advocates limiting
phone use and engaging in non-technological activities.
“Phones have moved from being used as a communication
device to becoming many people’s connection to the rest of the
world. Unfortunately, when used as such, they pose a threat to
the emotional connection with our partners,” he says. “With
all distractions removed, sit on the sofa, face each other and
talk. This suggestion can make many people very uncomfortable,
because they have no idea what they’d say to their partner.
Actually, talking to your partner without a purpose other than
to just listen and connect with each other has become rare.”
An element of fun can go a long way in the quest to stay connected.
“Approach your sex life like a science experiment or
an art project instead of a math problem,” says Jamie Elizabeth
Thompson, a holistic intimacy expert in Austin. “It’s an exploration
with no one right answer. Attitude is important when it
comes to sex because people can take it so seriously and place
crippling pressure on having this fantasy Hollywood sex life.”
Aphrodite’s Plate
Feel-good neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin and
oxytocin all contribute to the pleasure response, and sharing
luscious food with a lover can be sensuous, as well as endorphin-friendly.
Nutritious foods such as almonds, walnuts,
asparagus and avocados support reproductive health, and
a dessert of dark chocolate and honey-drizzled fruits like
berries, figs and cherries can support libido in both women
and men. Nixing excessive alcohol and sugar is also a good
romantic investment.
Partnership as Sacred
Deep relationship is only possible when we are willing to be
vulnerable. “Porn is a drug that people unknowingly use to selfmedicate
and manage uncomfortable thoughts and emotions,”
explains Smith. “Many men have no idea what they’re missing
because they’ve never had an emotionally intimate relationship
without the negative influence of porn. Porn makes sex
self-focused, rather than what it’s supposed to be, which is the
intimate connection of two people. Porn is selfish, rather than
loving, giving and sharing with a partner.”
Thompson attests that lovemaking can help us align with the
divine, especially “when people have reverence for the power of
their erotic life force. When people open their view of what sex is,
it can become an act of worship.”
Love prompts us to become more ourselves. “When erotic life
force is flowing freely, the body is vital and the system is turned
on. When channeled properly, this energy is highly creative,”
muses Thompson. “It’s the fuel of your vehicle, the charge of
your battery, and when you are full on life force, it organically
overflows into service.”
Marlaina Donato is an author and composer. Connect at
WildflowerLady.com.
I will use my voice to change the world, spreading
hope, spreading love, and spreading life, ‘cause
the world needs that. That’s enough for me.
~Victoria Arlen
February 2022
19