ACC E-Accord Summer 2022

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Accord contact: Stephen Poxon email: accord@acc-uk.org contents Issue no. 115 Summer 2022 ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COUNSELLORS Representing Christians who provide counselling and pastoral care, ACC is the only Christian UK wide counselling organisation holding an Accredited Register with the Professional Standards Authority. ACC Head Office Tel: 024 7644 9694 email: office@acc-uk.org Web: www.acc-uk.org Chair Sue Monckton-Rickett email: chair@acc-uk.org CEO Kathy Spooner email: counselling@acc-uk.org Head of Membership Services Gillian Stuart email: membershipservices@acc-uk.org Registrar Dawn Sherry email: registrar@acc-uk.org Administration Heather Bennett Sarah Meredith Sarah Palmer email: office@acc-uk.org Finance Keith Payne email: accounts@acc-uk.org Pastoral Care email: pastoral@acc-uk.org Company Secretary Sue Monckton-Rickett email: chair@acc-uk.org Communications and Training Yineng Hart email: yinenghart@acc-uk.org Registered Charity Number: 1018559 : SC039810 Limited Company Number: 2791541 ISSN 2635-1404 This quarterly magazine can be purchased for an annual subscription as a Friend of ACC, which has additional benefits. Details can be found at www.acc-uk.org Editorial Stephen Poxon Play and tell Heather Barton 3 4-6 Paper Talk 8-9 Book review - Gender, Identity & Faith Kathy Spooner Book review - The Dark Womb Karen Symonds Suffering and silence Karen O'Donnell Cultivating counselling Clemy Gilmore 9 10 11-13 13-15 Keeping counselling records and disclosure requests 16-17 Kathy Spooner ACC News 17-18 Brightening lives Lesley King-Lewis Spotlight on the NHS Sue Monckton-Rickett Adrenaline and avoidance Peter Lee Sharing from Shapinsay - wellbeing walks 25 Black men don't do therapy: Discuss Leroy Harley A scent of water Penelope Swithinbank Letting the Light In - Book review Andrew Clark A comment on content - open letter to the Editor Hazel Skeet Loneliness Sue Monckton-Rickett Sandwiches, smiles and sanity Mick Fleming PLEASE KEEP US INFORMED Request from ACC Head Office: 19 20-21 22-24 26-27 28-29 30-31 31 32-34 35-36 In Touch 37-39 We would be very grateful you could inform us as soon as possible of ANY changes to your name, address, email address, telephone numbers, etc. We want to make sure that you receive all of the information, news and updates that we send out and the only way we can do this is for us to have up-to-date contact details, so please make any changes online or contact office@acc-uk.org For accord advertising rates, deadline dates and discounts please contact office@acc-uk.org acc Association of Christian Counsellors TM Designed & produced by Parallel Creative T: 024 7660 3030 www.parallel-creative.co.uk
editorial Editorial by Stephen Poxon Shadowlands You will of course have your own personal equivalent, but allow me, please, to reminisce about a prayerchorus that I reckon I must have sung at least 50 times in worship services and prayer meetings, over the years. Sadly (in my opinion), it seems to have fallen out of favour in modern days, and I regret not having heard it used for too long a while, but the lyrics, nevertheless, still manage to speak to me in their gentle and reassuring way: ‘Standing somewhere in the shadows you'll find Jesus, He's the only one who cares and understands. Standing somewhere in the shadows you will find Him, And you'll know Him by the nail prints in his hands’. I hold a great deal of affection for that chorus, not least because it clearly outlines what I personally regard as an encouraging and healthy contrast between certainty and doubt. I find that helpful. I enjoy the fact that both are included. That gives me room to breathe. The certainty is found in my belief in the love of a Saviour whose hands were printed crimson by rusty, second-hand nails, all for my sake, while the doubt factor is outlined in the references to shadows. In other words, my salvation is assured, but my innermost shadowlands are permitted, when I can’t quite see, or even envisage, my way forward (or even sideways). God, I believe, ‘cares and understands’ that matters of faith and humanity are normally littered with moments (periods) of hesitancy, confusion, fear and indecision. The good news is, question marks are permitted. We are invited to trust and obey, yet we are also allowed to walk or linger in the shadows, sometimes, while we query and ask and seek and search and wait. With that in mind, there is a book on my shelves that I really do need to get around to reading, one of these days: Doubts and Loves, by Richard Holloway, who was once the Bishop of Edinburgh and Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church. I bought it, not only because it was as cheap as chips in a secondhand bookshop, but because the title immediately appealed to me and, fundamentally, to my need for permission to admit to some doubts and uncertainties from time to time. I particularly like a quote that appeared within the blurb surrounding the book’s original release: ‘Just when we think all the ladders between heaven and earth have fallen down we discover that our own heart, after all, has been the source of our greatest insights. That’s where all ladders start’. There it is, you see: space to feel (and even to actually believe) that ‘all the ladders between heaven and earth have fallen down’. Space, that is, to concede that life isn’t, after all, clear-cut. There are rarely straight lines along life’s pathway. Truth is, there are, instead, any number of shades of emotional, physical and spiritual experience that bless and beset us each. Perhaps we know that, deep down, but are reluctant (or even afraid) to confess it, lest we appear weak or somewhat lacking in (Christian) credibility. Darkness, though, is as prevalent as light, and honesty compels us to accept the presence of both as part and parcel of our pilgrimage as complex holistic beings. The denial of either is distinctly unhealthy and lacking in authenticity. So, whether your ladders are standing upright just now, or have fallen down for one reason or another, or are just beginning to slide, I pray as I type that the Christ of the shadows will whisper to you as you read this issue’s content, with words that reassure, guide, advise and uphold. Go gently. As Martin Rinkart put it in his ancient hymn, may God ‘guide us when perplexed’. www.acc-uk.org • www.pastoralcareuk.org accord Summer 2022 3
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