ACC E-Accord Summer 2022

Loneliness
by Sue Monckton-Rickett
This was the theme of Mental
Health Awareness Week (9th to
15th May) this year.
I wonder what images the word
‘loneliness’ conjures up in your
mind? The elderly or housebound
person, perhaps, sitting at the
window, or the homeless person
huddled in a doorway? We often
equate loneliness with aloneness,
but they are not necessarily the
same thing. Some people may
choose to be alone and live happily
without much contact with other
people, while others may find this
a desperately lonely experience.
We probably all acknowledge the
truth of the statement ‘you can
feel lonely in a crowd full of people,
but quite peaceful and content
when alone’, but when we think
about loneliness we may still veer
towards certain stereotypes. And
stereotypes matter because they
create a stigma about loneliness
and they also reduce our ability
to be aware of the potential for
loneliness.
SO WHAT IS LONELINESS?
Loneliness has been described
as ‘the feeling we get when our
need for rewarding social contact
and relationships is not met’ (1).
It is that sense of an unmet need
for meaningful relationships that
is vital and therefore how many
people you know or live or meet
with is actually quite irrelevant.
We may be in many relationships,
but still feel lonely because there
is a mismatch between the
relationships we need and the
ones we are in.
Loneliness and social isolation
are often talked about in the
same context but they are not
the same thing, nor does one
(i.e. social isolation) necessarily
lead to the other (i.e. loneliness).
Social isolation is an objective
lack of social contacts, which
can be measured by the number
of relationships a person has.
Someone who is socially isolated
isn’t necessarily lonely, nor is a
lonely person necessarily socially
isolated.
Loneliness is sometimes described
in three ways:
1. Emotional loneliness – the
absence or loss of a significant
other, such as a partner or close
friend, with whom you have a
meaningful relationship (2).
2. Social loneliness – the lack of a
wider social network that can
provide a sense of belonging
and community (2).
3. Existential loneliness – a sense
of feeling disconnected from
others, and as though life is
empty and lacks meaning (3).
We can see how these may co-exist
and can all have a very deep and
significant impact.
HOW COMMON IS LONELINESS?
Measurements by the Office for
Nations Statistics in 2016/2017
showed that one in twenty (five per
cent) of adults in the UK said they
‘often or always’ felt lonely, with
younger adults (sixteen to twentyfour
years old) reporting feeling
lonely more often than older
people.
The impact of social distancing and
lockdowns during the pandemic
meant that many more people
faced social isolation and loneliness
and the proportion of people who
felt ‘often or always lonely’ rose
to just over seven per cent of the
adult population, in February 2021.
Surveys by the Mental Health
Foundation (post-pandemic)
showed that there was a lag in
the reduction of loneliness, but
the levels are now back to those
of pre-pandemic, still equating to
approximately 2.5 million people in
the UK.
32 accord Summer 2022 www.acc-uk.org • www.pastoralcareuk.org