Island Parent Magazine Dec-Jan 2023

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Healthy Families, Happy Families Child, Youth & Family Public Health South Island Health Units Esquimalt 250-519-5311 Gulf Islands 250-539-3099 (toll-free number for office in Saanichton) Peninsula 250-544-2400 Saanich 250-519-5100 Saltspring Island 250-538-4880 Sooke 250-519-3487 Victoria 250-388-2200 West Shore 250-519-3490 Central Island Health Units Duncan 250-709-3050 Ladysmith 250-755-3342 Lake Cowichan 250-749-6878 Nanaimo 250-755-3342 Nanaimo 250-739-5845 Princess Royal Parksville/Qualicum 250-947-8242 Port Alberni 250-731-1315 Tofino 250-725-4020 North Island Health Units Campbell River 250-850-2110 Courtenay 250-331-8520 Kyuquot Health Ctr 250-332-5289 ‘Namgis Health Ctr 250-974-5522 Port Hardy 250-902-6071 islandhealth.ca/our-locations/ health-unit-locations PARENTING Nobody’s Perfect And that’s okay wish I wasn’t so irritable at my kids I and could be more like how they ask of me. The fulfillment is astounding; motherhood is the purest state of living that I’ve ever experienced— but loving them is unconditional and it comes with many challenges. I can be patient and mindfully compassionate to a point— but I can also regretfully snap at my wits end. I see a lot of posts going around about early childhood trauma and how to speak, act and do better for our children. I agree that in an ideal world it’s true— we should continually rephrase, nurture and encourage *calmly* regardless of any behaviour. What I don’t agree with is this implied accusation that we are damaging our children if we don’t adhere consistently to this standard of new-age parenting. For abrupt frustration when we know the older ones know better and it feels like they’re testing us at a cellular level. I think we should apologize to them often, and after reflecting, manage those big feelings with compassion as best we can when they come up again I won’t apologize though, for being a human being in my evolution of parenting—it’s a damn hard Olympic sport. I think we need more real-life mothers sharing how hard this is all actually is with unapologetic solidarity and a side of forgot-to-gentle-parent. We need to agree that we all have different levels of tolerance on different days for the exact same behaviour. We need to know that when we are being tested, that it’s not a time to feel judgment, instead a time to feel seen. I think we must learn in hindsight and discern teachings from our children; to Changes with BC Medical Services Plan premiums mean that families eligible for partial payment of some medical services and access to some income-based programs now must apply for Supplementary Benefits through the Government of BC. Applications can be done online and take approximately 15 minutes. Families who previously qualified for MSP Premium Assistance should not need to re-apply if taxes are completed yearly. It is advised to confirm coverage before proceeding with treatment to avoid paying out of pocket. For more information, visit gov.bc.ca/gov/ content/health/health-drug-coverage/msp/ bc-residents/benefits/services-covered-bymsp/supplementary-benefits I think all we can do is try and aim for our best every day, but I refuse to feel shame: For my lack of patience when overstimulated. For my cyclically-imbalanced mood swings. For utilizing screen time for sanity. For the projection of my own childhood wounds that I still need time to heal. look at challenges as an opportunity to not repeat history, but also to see our own instabilities as indicators to find more support and seek self-care. We must know that we don’t always have to do everything right in order to be a good mom. We are, and we need to put ourselves first, too. I hope this message helps normalize any fear or sadness parents are going through in transitions, especially when other younger siblings are involved. 24 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca
A Poem for My Eldest Sometimes I forget how little you are because of how fast you’ve grown. Sometimes I “expect” too much considering everything you’ve shown. You are my eldest, so big and so brave. And yet we’re at a crossroads once more A reality check when time slowed down and we couldn’t get you out the door. School can be daunting and so can transitions I see it now loud and clear You need me like they do, that nurturing attention normalizing everything that you fear So I keep in my glovebox this weathered old photo the one they taped up at your cubby Those days I’d drop you off you held on so tightly letting it go was so hard on mommy Then I felt it all flood back in with warm tears and tight embrace my sensitive little boy who’s still in there Mum needed this reminder To slow down and tell you I’m here, I love you your heart, we will repair Hudson’s recent artwork missing us as we navigate big feelings with school time transitions and anxieties. Natasha Mills is a twin mom of three residing on the island now for nearly 30 years. She has found a creative outlet in documenting the real moments of parenthood—the relatable highs and challenging lows. She has also found a passion in writing her experience of motherhood and connecting with many like-minded parents in her community and abroad. @mommamillsblog FRANK JAMESON COMMUNITY CENTRE your destination for active living Visit us for all your fitness, aquatic, arts & culture needs. See a complete list of programs and schedules in our Activity Guide at www.ladysmith.ca/programs INFO / REGISTRATION 250.245.6424 | ladysmith.ca follow us / ladysmithPRC subscribe prc@ladysmith.ca IslandParent.ca December/January 2023 25
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Island Parent Magazine Dec-Jan 2023

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