30 CHALDEAN NEWS <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong> <strong>2008</strong>
[Chaldean on the Street] HOMOSEXUALITY: WHAT’S YOUR VIEW? BY CAROLINE M. BACALL Homosexuality is a lightning-rod issue in the Chaldean community. Armed with a camera, we questioned people at the Chaldean Festival in Southfield to share their thoughts on the question: Do you know of anyone in the Chaldean community who is gay and will not “come out?” No, I don’t know of anyone. I personally don’t believe in same-sex marriages or relationships. I think it’s their choice of living, and they have to live with the consequences of those choices. Janice Shamoun, 27 Commerce I don’t know of anyone who’s in the closet, still. I believe every person in the world should be treated with the same kind of respect, but I also don’t think we should look at the subject with blind eyes. Marla Garmo, 24 Waterford Yes, I do know of someone. I think it’s weird, because it’s like they’re living a double life. I don’t think they’ll have lasting happiness. Temporary happiness, maybe — but lasting happiness, it’s not going to happen in homosexual relationships.My opinion is the same as the Vatican: do not treat homosexuals any different than you would heterosexuals; treat them with love and compassion. Joseph Manni, 21 Sterling Heights No, but I think there probably are a lot in our community who don’t go to church because of it. Every time my mom and I are in the car, we pray for those who left the Chaldean community or the church to come back. Alexa Shaba, 14 West Bloomfield I don’t know of anyone personally, but I’ve heard of people who won’t come out. I believe it’s a choice. I’ll be okay being friends with one, but to a limit. I wouldn’t curse someone out because they’re gay, but it’s against Christianity. They need to just go by the Lord’s words. Fady Tellow, 27 Farmington Hills Janice Shamoun Marla Garmo Joseph Manni Alexa Shaba Fady Tellow cultural contradiction Chaldean gays struggle with church and community It is one of the most taboo topics in the Chaldean community — one that people routinely shun. Homosexuality is commonly misinterpreted, and there’s a whole counterculture of gay Chaldeans lost in a community that rejects them. To be gay and Chaldean seems like a paradox. While only a few Chaldeans admit to their homosexuality, most choose to stay in the proverbial closet. Men and women alike are looking for acceptance, understanding and respect, which they find difficult to attain in the Chaldean community. According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Church’s official teaching, “homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex” (2357). Fr. Frank Kalabat, pastor at St. Thomas Chaldean Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, said that homosexuality is recognized as an attraction and is not necessarily wrong. “It’s not a sin to be gay — it’s a sin to engage in homosexual acts,” said Fr. Frank. The Catechism further states that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered” (2357), meaning that from their very nature, homosexual relations are immoral because “they close the sexual act to the gift of life [and] do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity” (2357). This means that the sexual act is limited to men and women who are married. All homosexual acts, just like heterosexual acts outside of marriage — including extramarital affairs — are insincere and morally wrong, according to the Catechism. The Chaldean News spent months researching this article and was unable to find even one Chaldean homosexual willing to have his or her real name used. In fact, despite numerous letters and e-mails from gay Chaldeans exhorting the Chaldean News to cover this topic, we could only get two gay BY CRYSTAL KASSAB JABIRO people to speak to us for this piece, and they insisted on being anonymous. When “Tony” was 18, he was in a horrible car accident. This made him reexamine his life, and he realized that he needed to live honestly. He no longer wanted to feel hindered by the truth that he is gay. Tony first noticed his attraction to males when he was about 12. Puberty is already a trying time for a middle-schooler and this made him feel even more uncomfortable, he said, but he couldn’t help it. “In the back of my head I learned I can’t be gay because of my background,” said Tony. “I was in denial. I didn’t know what to think. I had to tell someone because I was living a double life.” Tony first came out to his siblings when he was 19. They were wary but showed support to their brother. Before he could tell his parents, they confronted him after a close family friend asked about their son’s sexuality. When Tony admitted to being gay, his parents told him to gather his belongings and leave the house. “It’s really disappointing to want unconditional love and not receive it,” said Tony. “I really wanted their support.” Tony also lost his friends. While a few claimed they were okay with his homosexuality, they slowly started disappearing. He had to start fresh by creating new friendships. Looking for support, Tony went online and researched resources about gays, especially Middle- Easterners. He met a gay Arab from the Metro Detroit area and they became good friends. Together they networked and met many gay Chaldeans and Arabs who also felt vulnerable. After seeing I Exist, a documentary chronicling the struggles and triumphs of gays and lesbians from the Middle East, Tony and a few friends were inspired to reach out to the gay Middle-Eastern CULTURAL CONTRADICTION continued on page 32 <strong>SEPTEMBER</strong> <strong>2008</strong> CHALDEAN NEWS 31