SEPTEMBER 2008

Yes. They hide it well. When
they start accepting themselves
for who they are,
that’s it, there’s no going
back. As a community we
accept and tolerate it, but
don’t support it. They are in
conflict, because it is our
culture vs. American culture.
It’s a problem because in America, we
are living in a no-sin zone; everything is
acceptable. It can also be the “nature vs.
nurture” philosophy: the biological perspective
vs. the environment, and/or society’s
impact on the person.
Iman Numan, 50
West Bloomfield
No I don’t know of anyone,
but on online chats or blogs,
people aren’t afraid to come
out. They’re open. I don’t
believe that it’s right but
because we’re in America,
they have the freedom to
practice it.
Rafed White, 26
West Bloomfield
Yes I do. Not just regarding
the gay community, but it’s
hard to be different in the
Chaldean community in general.
Because of our culture,
it’s hard to accept someone
outside of the norm, especially
from the mindset of the
older generation. It’s common
from a Middle-Eastern
mindset to discredit someone for something
small, even if they are involved, and
give back to our church and our community.
In order for people to accept me as
a person, I have to accept them first.
Lawrence Mansour, 19
Utica
Yes I do. I would like to take
the position of the church.
The Catholic Church teaches
us that all human beings
are created in the image and
likeness of God; therefore,
we should love all people
regardless of their lifestyle.
However, a practicing homosexual
is living in sin, and
here I emphasize a practicing one, not
the person with inclinations only. The
church encourages them to seek help,
and we as community members should
receive them with love and remember
Christ’s teaching to love the sinner but
hate the sin.
Karam Bahnam, 35
Orchard Lake Village
No, I don’t. I believe it’s
important to always be in line
with the teachings of the
Catholic Church; that’s the
first priority. I’m not in a
position to judge a person,
but to love them as a brother
or sister of Christ.
Veronica Kassab, 22
Rochester Hills
Iman
Numan
Rafed
White
Lawrence
Mansour
Karam
Bahnam
Veronica
Kassab
CULTURAL CONTRADICTION
continued from page 31
community. They started a non-profit organization
called Al GAMEA, the GLBT (Gay, Lesbian,
Bisexual, and Transgender) Association of Middle-
Eastern Americans.
“Al GAMEA is an organization that strives to
create a forum for support, socialization, education
and awareness, in an area that’s home to the largest
and most visible Middle Eastern community in the
country, and to expand internationally via the
World Wide Web,” says the group’s website
(www.algamea.org). “In the end our goal is quite
simply to let people know, we are Middle Eastern.
We may be Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and/or
Transgender, but we are proud, and we do exist.”
Through AL GAMEA, Tony has met about 150
gay Chaldeans. About 15 percent of them are
women; Tony said they have an especially hard time
because there is a greater expectation to get married
and have children the “natural” way.
This kinship of gay Chaldeans makes Tony and his
friends want to do something that has never been done
before: “educate the churches about who we are.”
But, because the group does not promote chastity,
it does not follow the tenets of the Catholic
Church.
Fr. Frank said trying to educate the Church
would be detrimental to gay Chaldeans because it
does not promote what is right, but goes with emotions
and feelings. Homosexuality is a moral
absolute, said Fr. Frank, which means that all homosexual
acts are wrong and sinful. When people
engage in these acts, they are morally killing themselves,
he said.
Tony takes issue with that approach. “We are
pretending there are no gay Chaldeans,” he said,
“We don’t create a safe environment for gays.
They’re living double lives because they don’t want
to admit it.”
Being Catholic and Chaldean has added an extra
dynamic to being gay. Tony said he has been examining
his faith for quite some time. The former altar
boy said he “no longer feels comfortable calling
myself a Catholic.”
Tony has felt shunned while listening to homilies
that denounce homosexuality and said a lot of the
teachings are hypocritical. While he maintains his
Christianity, Tony is looking into other denominations.
“Other churches have embraced their people,”
he said, “but not our Church.”
While the Catholic Church does not recognize
or dispute any scientific reason why a person is gay,
it calls homosexuals to chastity in order to “fulfill
God’s will in their lives and … to unite to the sacrifice
of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may
encounter from their condition” (2358).
Now 23, Tony continues to live separately from his
family. His relationship with his parents is unstable
but he continues to try and build bridges with them.
He maintains close relationships with his siblings.
“Gay people want to feel accepted, just like
straight people,” he said. “Just understand that I’m
gay. Respect that.”
The Catechism says that gays “must be accepted
with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every
sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should
be avoided” (2358).
Tony’s friend “Amanda,” who also requested
anonymity, agrees with that notion.
Amanda is a college student in her early 20s who
realized she was a little “different” in elementary
school. In her late teens, she came out to some
members of her family whom she thought would be
supportive and accepting, and they have been. She
suspects that her parents know but are in denial –
they never speak of it.
“It’s difficult,” she said, “to hide who you are in
front of people who are closest to you.”
Amanda lost her best friend after she heard the
news (she has since apologized) but made new friends
in college. Her diverse group of friends includes
Chaldean girls who are liberal and open-minded —
and some are gay — yet feel a sense of duty to protect
their families from hearsay and gossip.
“We all agree that being Chaldean makes it harder
on us,” said Amanda. “We live in a small community
and it’s hard to break free from that.”
Although she was raised a Catholic, Amanda
never attended church much. She just recently
learned more about the faith and believes it is beautiful.
However, she rejects the Church’s stance on
homosexuality as written in the Catechism.
“It’s not the word of God to me,” she said. “I have
my own views.”
Amanda believes that being a lesbian is merely a
different lifestyle and that gays are used as a scapegoat
for society’s bigger problems. She compared
today’s gay issues to the civil rights matters of the
1960s. People, she said, fear change.
“There is a gay Chaldean community,” she said.
“We’re like everybody else. We’re inhabiting the
same world.”
Fr. Frank said Catholics must recognize homosexuals
as human beings. This is especially difficult in
familial situations, particularly in the Chaldean
community. But, Fr. Frank said, parents should put
limits on relationships with their children who
engage in homosexual acts.
His advice: “They are your children. Love them
but also lead them to God.”
Amanda wants parents to understand that their
children cannot help their homosexuality.
“Don’t make their lives harder,” she said. “The
fear — and the reality — is even more to handle.”
Although she has yet to admit her sexual orientation
to her parents, Amanda said she’d like to live an
honest life like her friend Tony.
“I identify as a gay Iraqi-Chaldean-Assyrian-
American-Christian,” said Tony. “I’m very proud of
who I am.”
32 CHALDEAN NEWS SEPTEMBER 2008