FEBRUARY 2018

Peter and Samira Essa at Willow Run Airport with family and friends when they arrived to America.
started to actually create printed invitations at this
time in Iraq,” said Fr. Boji. “In the 40s and 50s,
they hosted two important events, the Henna and
the Begana where they took food from the bride’s
house to the groom’s house.”
This happened on the same day, typically a Saturday,
but at different times of the day. “The henna
then was a lot simpler than it is today in America,”
said Fr. Boji. “It was just a few women and the close
relatives with the mother-in-law.”
During this time period some wedding ceremonies
would take place in the early morning hours
around 2 or 3 a.m. “The tradition was that the father
of the bride would not allow his daughter to
leave the house without being married,” said Fr.
Boji. “Usually early morning and it lasted a long
time. Priests recited prayers and blessings.”
After the prayers and blessing, the bride and
groom were taken out and paraded in a circle to
the entire village. The drums and zurna were
played. “As the bride and groom passed, people in
the town, young men, would bring them a bottle of
Arak. “It was a sign of respect,” said Fr. Boji.
Riding a horse was common in the 60s and 70
but not typically ridden by the bride. “They would
put a mattress, the cover sheets and the pillows on
a horse and young boys around 9 or 10 years old
would sit on the mattresses,” said Fr. Boji.
Those invited to the wedding would gather at
the groom’s house for dinner. The next morning,
guests would gather again and bring the envelopes,
the wedding gifts. “They usually cooked Pakota
(Barley dish) for the guests the next day.”
There were traditional celebrations of dancing.
“Usually before the wedding was a couple of days
of gathering and some of the youth of that neighborhood
would dance. But the day of the wedding
itself, whomever wanted to dance could dance but
it was not as big tradition for all weddings.”
In the 50s and 60s, the wedding ceremonies
were moved to 10 or 11 in the morning. “The
groom’s family would go to the bride’s family house
and the youth boys about 15 or 16 years old would
go to the door with a bottle of Arak and a chicken
for mezza later,” said Fr. Boji. “This was like in the
form of payment. They would not let the bride out
of the house until this was paid.”
This is how the tradition became that the
groom’s family paid for the wedding. Later the bottle
of Arak and the chicken were replaced with money.
There was a similar tradition where the groom
would go the bride’s house and young men would
hit the bottom of their shoes with sticks until the
bride’s family gave them Arak and a Chicken.
Although these traditions were left behind in Iraq,
the significant traditions that remain in America are
the prayers. The actual wedding vows today are from
the Latin Rite. The blessing of the bride and groom
and the rings are from Chaldean traditions.
“In 30s and 40s, vows were between the father of
the groom and the father of the bride,” said Fr. Boji.
“The father of groom was proposing and the father
of bride in is accepting. This was part of the ceremony.
In the engagement back then, it was not the
bride and groom, it was groom’s father to the bride’s
father. These traditions are in the liturgical books.”
In Iraq, the groom buys the dresses, “the Chass,”
said Fr. Boji. “The brides’ family would kind of pay
it back with making the food and putting money
in the coat pocket of the groom. The entire town
would see that the bride’s family would pay the
groom back in this way.”
Also in Iraq, the marriages were arranged up
until the 70s and early 80s.
Peter and Samir Essa knew each other for about
three days before they married and didn’t speak to
each other until about three days after the wedding.
“Here is the picture of the two of us on the
day Peter side hi to me and I said hi back,” said
Samira as she pointed to the photo.
That was almost the limit of their conversations
as Peter only spoke English and Samira only
spoke Arabic and Chaldean.
“My mother-in-law would translate for me,”
said Samira, ‘when I first arrived in the United
States. She spoke Sourath. I loved it because I felt
like I was speaking to my own mother.”
During these days of their wedding there was
a revolution in Iraq and King Faisal’s regime was
overthrown. Peter and Samira were unable to leave
Iraq. “My passport was stamped by King Faisal,”
said Samira. “It was no longer valid. I needed a new
stamp by the Prime Minister.”
As an American, Peter was taken by the Em-
THEN AND NOW continued on page 28
FEBRUARY 2018 CHALDEAN NEWS 27