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Lot's Wife Edition 6 2015

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40<br />

ARTS & CULTURE<br />

By Emily Neilsen<br />

Is it real love?<br />

The Bachelor is a show that takes 25 contestants (‘hot’, single<br />

females) who compete to win the love of one man who has<br />

been deemed a suitable and eligible bachelor. These females<br />

all live together and are gradually eliminated (read: dumped)<br />

not by text message, not in private, but on national TV in front<br />

of all the other contestants. The Bachelor gives everyone a<br />

rose except for the girls who failed to win his heart. The rose<br />

will deteriorate a few days later – a perfect symbol for the<br />

result of most relationships on The Bachelor. With Australia<br />

joining in on the fun, Network Ten is currently screening the<br />

third season and have announced the next season will be The<br />

Bachelorette. Hilariously, the Bachelorette will be a girl from<br />

the last season who was left broken hearted.<br />

Let’s examine what has made you get to the point of<br />

auditioning for this show. Going to bars, joining social groups<br />

and talking to strangers didn’t seem to work, so instead<br />

you’ve decided to be on a show where you will have a 1 in 25<br />

chance of winning the affection of a man you may not even<br />

be interested in. But with competition comes the need to win,<br />

and being in it for the long haul could see you go on some<br />

pretty amazing dates. Skydiving or a trip to Thailand? Any<br />

type of date you want is possible. While these could be the<br />

best fun of your life, any date after that probably won’t be<br />

the same. Once you’re away from the cameras and forced to<br />

deal with every day life together, that’s where the real drama<br />

happens. That’s what the show hasn’t quite figured out – how<br />

to keep the relationships going.<br />

The show draws comparisons to Playboy Mansion. You have<br />

the Bachelor, you have the hot girls who fawn over him, and<br />

you have the money. Is it wrong that the two are so similar?<br />

That’s up to you to decide.<br />

But one of the biggest similarities is, admittedly, it’s<br />

thoroughly entertaining. I get angry when I see the girls vying<br />

for the same guy. I want to throw things at the screen when<br />

they make the girls go through the rose ceremony, and I think<br />

it is a ridiculously unrealistic way to find love. But it’s the<br />

perfect excuse to hang with your pals, drink lots of wine, and<br />

complain about your love life and vow to never audition for a<br />

show to find love.<br />

It’s entertainment; it’s not real life. So if you plan on<br />

finding someone in real life, maybe stick to the good old<br />

simple dating tactics, unless you feel like a touch of drama<br />

is needed in your life. What would really make it interesting<br />

would be to see a bisexual person as The Bachelor/<br />

Bachelorette. We’d have to wait for Australia to legalise gay<br />

marriage for that to happen though, so that’s another battle<br />

in itself.<br />

Hey there sexy, I heard you’re<br />

still a single pringle and<br />

haven’t found your perfect<br />

someone yet. The television<br />

industry has a solution for<br />

you. The Bachelor.<br />

Before you do audition,<br />

please consider the side<br />

effects: extreme jealousy,<br />

feelings of insecurity,<br />

humiliation during and<br />

after the show has aired,<br />

a tarnished reputation (or<br />

sometimes a better one if you<br />

play your cards right) and<br />

low self-esteem... unless you<br />

win.<br />

Until then, we rely on Sam Wood, this season’s Australian<br />

bachelor. In terms of his love life, no one knows the result<br />

yet. In terms of the viewers, it has so far served as a reminder<br />

to not take love too seriously. Or at least the love we see on<br />

TV. Good luck Sam, and please don’t make me hurl another<br />

pillow at the screen for not eliminating Sandra.

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