La Mode

WAYS TO GET
ALONG WITH
YOUR MOTHER
IN LAW
1. Mother-in-law at times would like to
know your reaction to some sensitive
words or topics for instance: ‘Why are
you wearing another woman’s hair? I am
so certain that my son won’t like it and I
am sure you think it looks so gorgeous
cause of the cost.’ Instead of clamming
up or simmer in silence because you are
upset, simply laugh over it and continue
the conversation, you can say ‘Mummy, I
think It would look more gorgeous on
you let’s try it on you, next time you visit
your salon.’ This won’t cause any major
issue and no offence would be taken.
2. Commend and appreciate her good
deeds, points and acts. A lot of us have
problems with our mothers-in-law when
it comes to our kitchens. I understand
how that feels (like an intruder coming
to check our hands in our very own
office). It is one of the ways of making
them have access to us. Let them give
you a helping hand do not forget that
she has ‘experienced hands’ and if she
has access to you they can help you out
with your work load in the kitchen. Of
course, you know she has not taken over.
If your mother-in-law makes a dish for
you while you were away for some time,
instead of complaining about this
appreciate her and make her understand
how much you cherished it. If she cleans
up your kitchen while you are busy
cooking, thank her for being so helpful.
It is amazing how much gentler she’ll be
if she sees very so often that you value
her.
3. Ask her for her advice very often it
will only bring you closer to her. Is she
having issues with your cooking? Turn
the situation around and ask her politely,
‘mummy please teach me how to make
nice dishes like you’, trust her, she would
get so interested and amazed at your
request.
For example: Mummy, I will like to make
a very special meal for Yomi today. Is
there anything special you think I should
prepare?’ By that she feels so involved,
just the thought of her being
acknowledged and giving her a chance to
contribute will make her day but of
course you know you are still in control.
4. The next issue is visitation. How
often do you visit her? How often do
you take her grandchildren to see her?
How often do you buy gifts for her? We
are humans and we can also learn from
animals. If you give a dog bones
everyday definitely the dog will like you
and can even protect you with its life.
That is how to win anyone’s heart. Little
care goes a long way. Buying little things
like underwear, make-up set, nice hair
extensions, take her for body massage,
pedicure, and manicure, nice laces, lovely
shoes/ slippers, food stuffs, even fruits
can make huge difference
LAMODE FASHION
All these will make her feel young and
glad. It is one of the easiest ways to get
to her heart. Do you also say sweet
words to her? Do not think you are only
responsible for your husband and to him
only you owe sweet words, perhaps your
children. Your mother-in-law should be
psyched at all times, every woman wants
compliments. Every woman likes
someone singing their praises. Sweet
words like, ‘Mummy I’m so glad God
made you my mother-in-law’. ‘Mum you
look so sweet today in short you are my
inspiration’. ‘Mummy thank you for
giving birth to my husband’. ‘Mummy
you are the best mum in the world. You
are so sweet to me (even though she is a
MONSTER) God bless you’; ‘mummy I
love you so much’. And if she is fond of
turning up at your house unannounced,
it can be a sign of she probably feeling
excluded from your life or a sign of
loneliness which may want her to
interfere the more. So call her often and
pay her more visitations. Try to
understand that this may be
compounded when the mother-in-law is
a widow and her children mean
everything to her. Be merciful and kind
to her.
5. At times, when mothers-in-law are
nasty for instance when she run her
fingers through the quarter inch of dust
gathering on the windowsill, just say, ‘Oh
that Ma, I gather that to express my
feelings to Yomi, in fact he knows that
spot’. She would smile and let you be.
It’s a very polite way of telling her you
have some other important things to
think of.
6. Siblings are another big issue
mothers-in-law cannot stand if they are
ill-treated. No matter how nice you are
to your mother-in-law you must be far
nicer to the siblings or relatives. It is a
norm that in Africa we do not marry
husbands we marry the family after all
the family welcomed you after your
marriage and gave you moral support.
Therefore, it is a very sensitive matter
when it comes to your husband’s
siblings. If you get