NOVEMBER_UNIKUM_WEB

OPINION
Autism and masking
Michael Campbell
Writer
Illustration: AdobeStock // OneLineStock
The pressure to hide certain things about ourselves, or present
ourselves in a certain way to better fit in is widely felt. It’s something
we will often do unconsciously, as a strategy to connect with those
around us. There are many different reasons we might find this
necessary, and it’s undoubtedly an uncomfortable situation to find
yourself in. For those of us on the spectrum, however, this strategy
can be a lot more involved in our day-to-day lives, and can have a
greater bearing on our overall mental health and wellbeing.
Social interaction poses a variety of unknowns, and while it can
lead to amazing encounters, and is an essential part of life, at the
worst of times it can feel like sitting an exam for a subject you’ve
never studied. For myself, I feel that a lot of my natural responses
and behaviours in conversation, have been suppressed due to
years of “masking.”
What is masking?
When I talk about masking, I am referring to the behaviour used by
people on the autistic spectrum, to hide their natural neurodiverse
characteristics. It means supressing certain things about ourselves,
such as our intense interests, and stimming (more on that later).
Masking can look different for each person, but might include
mimicking neurotypical behaviours (by analysing and copying
facial expressions and actions), or rehearsing conversations and
making the effort to be extra accommodating to others.
This particular aspect of being autistic, can be tricky as it often
works too well in hiding the individual’s neurodivergence, meaning
diagnosis can come years later than you might expect. In my own
experience, the notion of me being neurodiverse, didn’t occur to
anyone - most of all myself - until the age of 14, when a psychologist
suggested I get assessed (being referred for depression, and leaving
with a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder, had certainly
not been on my bingo card that year). At the time I thought this
information was useless, completely irrelevant to improving my
mental health or life in general. Especially since those in charge of
my support – a notoriously abysmal UK children’s mental health
service (where my fellow depressed UK students at?) – followed
up my diagnosis with a year long waiting list, for some cognitive
behavioural therapy which I can only describe as lacking. 5 years
later I’m only now beginning to understand that the diagnosis is
a way to navigate my unique experiences, and cope with factors
beyond my control.
Why we mask?
Being social can be difficult for many reasons. Personally, I often
struggle to tell if my difficulties at any one time, are occurring
because of my autism, or social anxiety (and I’m sure they
collaborate frequently just to spice things up a bit). It can be
very tiring attempting to dissect whether you are participating
correctly in a conversation, or doing the right thing in a new place.
Questioning whether I’m being too formal, or too informal. Should
I talk now, am I interrupting, should I stop talking, have I said the
wrong thing, have I been impolite, or am I being too polite? Should
I make eye contact, how long have I been maintaining eye contact,
should I tell them I’m autistic?
Each person’s experience is their own, and being autistic is by
no means a social death-sentence. It’s just key to note that social
impairment is a massive challenge for those on the spectrum. The
immense amount of pressure which comes with social spaces, can
make it difficult for autistic people to feel at ease in public, and
masking helps us to navigate the neurotypical public domain.
Through mimicking and rehearsing, we can ensure smooth social
interactions and avoid drawing unwanted attention, to things such
as stimming. Stimming, or self-stimulatory behaviour, is a form of
self-soothing through repetitive movements or sounds. Take, for
example: hand flapping, repeating words or phrases, and excessive
nail biting. These are each sensory stims which can help act as an
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