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Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

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So she took cheer. Matters were not yet very desperate.<br />

She firmly believed William would never marry his Gipsy. She waited,<br />

<strong>and</strong> she kept Paul near to her.<br />

All summer long William's letters had a feverish tone; he seemed<br />

unnatural <strong>and</strong> intense. Sometimes he was exaggeratedly jolly,<br />

usually he was flat <strong>and</strong> bitter in his letter.<br />

"Ah," his mother said, "I'm afraid he's ruining himself<br />

against that creature, who isn't worthy of his love--no, no more<br />

than a rag doll."<br />

He wanted to come home. The midsummer holiday was gone;<br />

it was a long while to Christmas. He wrote in wild excitement,<br />

saying he could come for Saturday <strong>and</strong> Sunday at Goose Fair, the first<br />

week in October.<br />

"You are not well, my boy," said his mother, when she saw him.<br />

She was almost in tears at having him to herself again.<br />

"No, I've not been well," he said. "I've seemed to have<br />

a dragging cold all the last month, but it's going, I think."<br />

It was sunny October weather. He seemed wild with joy,<br />

like a schoolboy escaped; then again he was silent <strong>and</strong> reserved.<br />

He was more gaunt than ever, <strong>and</strong> there was a haggard look in his eyes.<br />

"You are doing too much," said his mother to him.<br />

He was doing extra work, trying to make some money to marry on,<br />

he said. He only talked to his mother once on the Saturday night;<br />

then he was sad <strong>and</strong> tender about his beloved.<br />

"And yet, you know, mother, for all that, if I died she'd be<br />

broken-hearted for two months, <strong>and</strong> then she'd start to forget me.<br />

You'd see, she'd never come home here to look at my grave,<br />

not even once."<br />

"Why, William," said his mother, "you're not going to die,<br />

so why talk about it?"<br />

"But whether or not---" he replied.<br />

"And she can't help it. She is like that, <strong>and</strong> if you choose<br />

her--well, you can't grumble," said his mother.<br />

On the Sunday morning, as he was putting his collar on:

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