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Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

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"But I love to touch them," she replied, hurt.<br />

"Can you never like things without clutching them as if you<br />

wanted to pull the heart out of them? Why don't you have a bit<br />

more restraint, or reserve, or something?"<br />

She looked up at him full of pain, then continued slowly<br />

to stroke her lips against a ruffled flower. Their scent, as she<br />

smelled it, was so much kinder than he; it almost made her cry.<br />

"You wheedle the soul out of things," he said. "I would<br />

never wheedle--at any rate, I'd go straight."<br />

He scarcely knew what he was saying. These things came from<br />

him mechanically. She looked at him. His body seemed one weapon,<br />

firm <strong>and</strong> hard against her.<br />

"You're always begging things to love you," he said, "as if you<br />

were a beggar for love. Even the flowers, you have to fawn on them---"<br />

Rhythmically, Miriam was swaying <strong>and</strong> stroking the flower with<br />

her mouth, inhaling the scent which ever after made her shudder<br />

as it came to her nostrils.<br />

"You don't want to love--your eternal <strong>and</strong> abnormal craving<br />

is to be loved. You aren't positive, you're negative.<br />

You absorb, absorb, as if you must fill yourself up with love,<br />

because you've got a shortage somewhere."<br />

She was stunned by his cruelty, <strong>and</strong> did not hear. He had not<br />

the faintest notion of what he was saying. It was as if his fretted,<br />

tortured soul, run hot by thwarted passion, jetted off these sayings<br />

like sparks from electricity. She did not grasp anything he said.<br />

She only sat crouched beneath his cruelty <strong>and</strong> his hatred of her.<br />

She never realised in a flash. Over everything she brooded<br />

<strong>and</strong> brooded.<br />

After tea he stayed with Edgar <strong>and</strong> the brothers, taking no<br />

notice of Miriam. She, extremely unhappy on this looked-for holiday,<br />

waited for him. And at last he yielded <strong>and</strong> came to her.<br />

She was determined to track this mood of his to its origin.<br />

She counted it not much more than a mood.<br />

"Shall we go through the wood a little way?" she asked him,<br />

knowing he never refused a direct request.<br />

They went down to the warren. On the middle path they<br />

passed a trap, a narrow horseshoe hedge of small fir-boughs,<br />

baited with the guts of a rabbit. Paul glanced at it frowning.

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