Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

"And what are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm thinking what tune I shall whistle," he laughed.
And instead of boxing his ears, she considered him in earnest.
"You think I want to give you what's good for you?" she asked.
"I hope so; but love should give a sense of freedom,
not of prison. Miriam made me feel tied up like a donkey to a stake.
I must feed on her patch, and nowhere else. It's sickening!"
"And would YOU let a WOMAN do as she likes?"
"Yes; I'll see that she likes to love me. If she doesn't--well,
I don't hold her."
"If you were as wonderful as you say---," replied Clara.
"I should be the marvel I am," he laughed.
There was a silence in which they hated each other,
though they laughed.
"Love's a dog in a manger," he said.
"And which of us is the dog?" she asked.
"Oh well, you, of course."
So there went on a battle between them. She knew she never fully
had him. Some part, big and vital in him, she had no hold over;
nor did she ever try to get it, or even to realise what it was.
And he knew in some way that she held herself still as Mrs. Dawes.
She did not love Dawes, never had loved him; but she believed he
loved her, at least depended on her. She felt a certain surety
about him that she never felt with Paul Morel. Her passion
for the young man had filled her soul, given her a certain
satisfaction, eased her of her self-mistrust, her doubt.
Whatever else she was, she was inwardly assured. It was almost
as if she had gained HERSELF, and stood now distinct and complete.
She had received her confirmation; but she never believed that her
life belonged to Paul Morel, nor his to her. They would separate
in the end, and the rest of her life would be an ache after him.
But at any rate, she knew now, she was sure of herself. And the
same could almost be said of him. Together they had received
the baptism of life, each through the other; but now their missions