Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

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"The same--the same!" he said. "The doctor says she can't last, but I know she will. She'll be here at Christmas." Miriam shuddered. She drew him to her; she pressed him to her bosom;
she kissed him and kissed him. He submitted, but it was torture. She could not kiss his agony. That remained alone and apart. She kissed his face, and roused his blood, while his soul was apart writhing with the agony of death. And she kissed him and fingered his body, till at last, feeling he would go mad, he got away from her. It was not what he wanted just then--not that. And she thought she had soothed him and done him good. December came, and some snow. He stayed at home all the while now. They could not afford a nurse. Annie came to look after her mother; the parish nurse, whom they loved, came in morning and evening. Paul shared the nursing with Annie. Often, in the evenings, when friends were in the kitchen with them, they all laughed together and shook with laughter. It was reaction. Paul was so comical, Annie was so quaint. The whole party laughed till they cried, trying to subdue the sound. And Mrs. Morel, lying alone in the darkness heard them, and among her bitterness was a feeling of relief. Then Paul would go upstairs gingerly, guiltily, to see if she had heard. "Shall I give you some milk?" he asked. "A little," she replied plaintively. And he would put some water with it, so that it should not nourish her. Yet he loved her more than his own life. She had morphia every night, and her heart got fitful. Annie slept beside her. Paul would go in in the early morning, when his sister got up. His mother was wasted and almost ashen in the morning with the morphia. Darker and darker grew her eyes, all pupil, with the torture. In the mornings the weariness and ache were too much to bear. Yet she could not--would not--weep, or even complain much. "You slept a bit later this morning, little one," he would say to her. "Did I?" she answered, with fretful weariness. "Yes; it's nearly eight o'clock." He stood looking out of the window. The whole country was bleak and pallid under the snow. Then he felt her pulse. There was a strong stroke and a weak one, like a sound and its echo. That was supposed to betoken the end. She let him feel her wrist, knowing what he wanted.
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Free Ebooks, promotions and lots of
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were sunk, until soon there were si
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"You can have your dinner as soon a
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onnet and her cloak. She smiled whe
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of the cut pastures. The sky overhe
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said Morel. He was extraordinarily
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experience of what being a man mean
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He came and bowed above her. A warm
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He had signed the pledge, and wore
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"Eighty pound, if you're so keen on
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"Did he?" "Yes, he did." The other
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one Sunday morning, to the chatter
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The pity was, she was too much his
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"I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be
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of face that seems to lack eyelashe
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as having some occult, malevolent p
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"Comin' home in his what?" he snarl
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olt behind her with a bang. Then he
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Her quietened heart beginning to be
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CHAPTER II THE BIRTH OF PAUL, AND A
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"Yi--there's one big 'un," he repli
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"Eh!" said Mrs. Anthony. "You can f
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And he went on striking. He was tir
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"What is it?" she asked, feeling si
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"Go now," she said. "I will, my las
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"Goodness!" cried Mrs. Morel. "Mr.
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Whereupon Mrs. Morel, trying to soo
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Suddenly, looking at him, the heavy
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anything it'll make my blood boil,"
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he went across to her, swayed, caug
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"I can do it myself," she replied.
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Immediately he had finished tea he
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"So you filch sixpence out of my pu
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"Why, where should you have gone? Y
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He had a fine constitution, so that
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and tenderness between the separati
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"'Appen 'e is, but that doesn't giv
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But that evening Morel came in from
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And, glaring at the boy, he ran for
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She was very proud of her son. He w
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"And why didn't you tell me?" "Beca
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His mother implored him to take mor
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'I told mother about you this morni
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the face of the hidden doll. Annie
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"Why, what have I done to the child
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So they were happy in the morning--
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of anxiety and expectation in the r
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"Oh, nothing--about famous women."
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This Morel loved to do. "Well, ther
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"Nothing," he replied. But he ate n
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"This childt's axin' for thee; how
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have died rather. "Good gracious!"
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No window was open. Sometimes in wi
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Paul went to the counter. "Seventee
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put it before him. Suddenly he turn
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So the boy remained alone. Mrs. Mor
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Paul was waiting for her. He loved
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Paul looked in the oven; tapped the
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out of this way and went into the f
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home again. Morel hated to go back.
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Christmas Eve. Mrs. Morel surveyed
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cheerily, and immediately began to
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He had brought them endless present
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"I don't know for sure, but it's 'i
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"A comb, a knife and fork and spoon
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with wonderful healing flesh, and s
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So she talked to her son, almost as
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measuring people against himself, a
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Therefore he was soon visiting and
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tight inside him. He would have suf
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of the dragon. They emerged into a
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"Where did you learn to write?" sai
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school now." "He would live in Best
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she's taking that man HIS pudding,
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every second as the flowers was goi
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"She should have her own money if s
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He had the season-ticket, which had
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Paul was led round to a very dark c
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eappeared coatless, turning up a sm
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"You'd better watch me," he said to
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the "Mr." Then all at once Mr. Jord
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"I never said it WAS your fault. Wi
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with so much that she expected her
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When he came in at eight in the mor
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At the end of the song Fanny would
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up two long hills, down two short h
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and driving them nearly mad, while
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"Oh no, we had dinner in the train.
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"It isn't, really!" "You are cold,"
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to everybody's discomfort, and took
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"Was she REALLY getting up when she
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"Won't you go to bed, then?" he ask
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Paul hurried off to the station jub
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"Too young for me, though, I'm afra
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"It's a wild road, mother," said Pa
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"Oh no! We're only too thankful to
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Maurice took his hand full of corn
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"See, it doesn't hurt," he said, an
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Hawthorn was dropping from the hedg
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And in the evening, after supper, h
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"Oh, well, I've gone too far to bre
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for her--a bit of a theatrical show
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So she took cheer. Matters were not
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her nightdress, a comb and brush, s
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"Tha wants Walter Morel? Go in thee
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On Saturday night, as Paul was turn
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her brass candlestick glittering. T
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sat looking blankly in front of her
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of her for love. "For some things,"
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to have as easy a time as he could,
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She helped him off with his coat. H
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"HAVE they, mother?" she cried. "I
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went running because of a few burnt
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He crouched down and carefully put
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"No," he answered. "Where?" "In the
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"I've had a long turn," he said. "B
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"Why DO you?" he asked. "I don't kn
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"Don't!" repeated the child, a frow
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"Ha! Is it? Men have everything." "
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eyes blazed at him. "You don't give
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For many hours she sat still, sligh
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thrilled her, something holy. He wa
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His soul, warm and exposed from con
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Then the next time he saw Miriam he
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Paul looked down the garden for his
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"You should see the Flying Scotsman
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"What is it?" she asked. "The sprin
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loved him for that. Her soul expand
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"Supposing you could have THAT farm
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upon the tree-tops of the oak-wood
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her head and pondered. How could it
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It caused a violent conflict in him
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with the girl, and Mrs. Morel was t
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"I canna see what they want drownin
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"All right," he answered. And when
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against it. His blood was concentra
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abbiting in the woods, like a poach
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"If I'm not SICK!" she cried sudden
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Morel put down his knife and leaned
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"Both first?" "Yes." "H'm!" There w
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He looked at her companion. "I've t
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The boy glanced away. But the smith
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Miriam bowed a little lower. "Yes,"
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"I'm so damned spiritual with YOU a
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"That's all right!" he said. She wa
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"Yes." He knew she was cross with h
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He never went past the pits at nigh
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hours when he knew Miriam was expec
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Orion was for them chief in signifi
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"Oh, my sirs!" he said. "Wheer's my
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drawing herself up to imitate her h
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"Well, I shouldn't be surprised any
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"Not yet," he smiled. "Then, why di
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"Don't what, I should like to know?
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"Send it to Liberty's. I did it for
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"Then you wanted a job," said Beatr
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she exclaimed. She tilted his head
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a tale about his work making him fo
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with Leonard and Annie. She would m
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Her dark eyes were naked with their
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Miriam looked in the bookcase, saw
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Mrs. Morel shifted in her chair, an
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stroking with a rhythmic, jerked mo
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"No, mother--I really DON'T love he
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"Show me!" He would at that moment
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He pressed his face upon the pillow
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just awake from his Sunday nap, was
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"But I love to touch them," she rep
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He sat down against his will, resti
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digging up little clods of earth as
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"But I don't understand," she said
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And she was good to him. She did hi
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Miriam was indignant at anybody's f
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"And you won't think about it, and
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So he went as often, but he was usu
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There was between them now always a
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"Yes," he said; "I am glad." She sa
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Miriam dared not propose anything f
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all the songs his friend could teac
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Clara and her for a walk. They set
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It went up the bank in little leaps
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Clara did not answer, but strode on
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"I don't believe they do." "I don't
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He gathered up the flowers he had s
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"Ah!" she exclaimed. "So she is!" H
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They sat together in the cathedral.
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of angry way." Mrs. Morel considere
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and was splendid in uniform. Annie
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"I shall be with you just the same.
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would he go? The army had not reall
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She was afraid that her hair, speci
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life lay outside their mother's hou
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And again he laughed, in a way that
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as two souls. So I feel it. "Ought
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afraid something had happened. They
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The miner sat heavily in his chair.
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dress shirts. But he had an elegant
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a thing not very difficult, she kne
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"But I want you to be happy," she s
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lay on her left, whilst in front of
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"Ay, well, and I can remember when
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were coming very wide open. Wasn't
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He soon made occasion to call again
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"Then why ask me about it?" "Becaus
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"There is so little likelihood of m
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And he went away to the other girls
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"Yes, you want to know, don't you?"
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"You have stayed to dinner!" he exc
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She shivered. She loathed the town.
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"It's my birthday, and they've boug
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Suddenly they came to a halt on top
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"Did you leave him out of count all
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"What, pray?" "Making him feel as i
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to sacrifice himself in a marriage
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He went on determinedly. He realise
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"I think so," she answered.
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"Kiss me," she whispered. He shut h
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in the darkness under the hanging t
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that looked very soft, turned up to
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only to him then a woman. She was a
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"Let us stay here awhile," he said.
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marsh-marigolds and many big blue f
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And he could not do it often, and t
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So he gave the account of himself.
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of flowers. They flagged all loose,
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Miriam met him at the lane-end. She
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There was in it some truth that, in
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had flattered him, and despised him
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She was sure of herself. Only, this
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It was nine o'clock when he got hom
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to his mother. "Mother," he said, "
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He stood in front of her, his eyes
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She followed him. He took her hand
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"You will meet me at the Fountain a
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His mouth the same was just going t
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"And I am thirty," she said. "I kno
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laughing with excitement. Her shoes
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Directly they passed out of sight b
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She sat down, panting, on the tusso
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sure I feel harmless--so--if it mak
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"Yes; I've been down Clifton Grove
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"Yes!--yes!--if you'd anything abou
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"Were you late home?" she asked. At
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that's why she stayed with him. Aft
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"I may call in as I go to chapel,"
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"Do you think so?" he answered. "Yo
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front room, with its old piano, its
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her in her talk. There was a lot of
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they became aware of Miriam. There
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of speaking so about Miriam. After
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"I tell you it's only words that go
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a match." He secretly hoped it was
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"She caught the train then?" she sa
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In a maze, he wandered out for a dr
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It was a little dish of chip potato
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on the hearthrug, holding her fork.
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stool to stand on." "That's the wor
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"Fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen
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folded his suit, and sat on the bed
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At length, unable to stand so any m
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"It won't make it no earlier. Here,
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"You'll do as you like," said Mrs.
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"Why, what about th' theatre?" aske
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the man's forehead, he thought he l
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"I might give you a turn or two," s
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"About Baxter." "There's nothing to
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"'The man in righteousness arrayed,
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just now." Dawes knew from his tone
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Mr. Jordan started, marched up to t
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"Have you ever considered where it
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The feeling that things were going
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she asked. "Go somewhere in a prett
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and wondering, like Adam and Eve wh
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"And what is love?" she asked. "Has
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They had a warm hollow in the sandh
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"What is she, after all?" he said t
Page 560 and 561: short holiday?" "I don't know. Love
Page 562 and 563: were separate. Where he wanted to g
Page 564 and 565: "You begin to value Baxter now you'
Page 566 and 567: with chagrin. "It's something; and
Page 568 and 569: "Good-evening!" Morel answered, not
Page 570 and 571: Dawes's struggles suddenly renewed
Page 572 and 573: He felt he could not bear it. His m
Page 574 and 575: their teeth, the young men swung th
Page 577 and 578: "Pains?" "Yes; but not more than I'
Page 579 and 580: "Mrs. Morel never told Dr. Jameson
Page 581 and 582: "Of course," said Mrs. Morel. Paul
Page 583 and 584: the charge of Minnie. Walter Morel
Page 585 and 586: "Well, I'll write plain." It was no
Page 587 and 588: "No; it would be silly. And take ca
Page 589 and 590: "Has he?" she answered wearily. The
Page 591 and 592: "but it's nice to be in my own home
Page 593 and 594: in a naked extremity of hate, and i
Page 595 and 596: He lay staring across at the wall o
Page 597 and 598: more information. She went about sh
Page 599 and 600: him tired. He was not sorry when he
Page 601 and 602: It all seemed unreal, he could not
Page 603 and 604: as if paralysed, unable to go any f
Page 605 and 606: "There are different ways of dying.
Page 607 and 608: "It's not been much of a week-end,"
Page 609: only that place to come to. He was
Page 613 and 614: "Go and sit with her while we have
Page 615 and 616: "What are you doing?" said Annie. "
Page 617 and 618: "Ay," said the mother--"try." They
Page 619 and 620: He nodded. They sat down again help
Page 621 and 622: He drew up the blind and got dresse
Page 623 and 624: There was a good deal to do, letter
Page 625 and 626: They would not let anybody come to
Page 627 and 628: Down below she saw a dark corner of
Page 629 and 630: But Dawes, with rather shaky hand,
Page 631: "And I don't see," said Paul, "why
Page 634 and 635: The three stood at a loss. She kept
Page 636 and 637: "Why don't I?" She looked again out
Page 638 and 639: to her; he dared not give it her. S
Page 640 and 641: to him. He let go the curtain, turn
Page 642 and 643: He was most himself when he was alo
Page 644 and 645: Then, quite mechanically and more d
Page 646 and 647: "I mustn't," he said; and, turning
Page 648 and 649: ing you back." "Very well," she rep
Page 650 and 651: "I say--that sounds all right for y
Page 652 and 653: "And you have broken off with Clara
Page 654 and 655: She was aware of his dark-clothed,
Page 656 and 657: "I'll come along with you," he answ
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