Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

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in the darkness under the hanging tree. There was no more of her but this pale blotch. "Good-bye!" she called softly. She had no body, only a voice and a dim face. He turned away and ran down the road, his fists clenched; and when he came to the wall over the lake he leaned there, almost stunned, looking up the black water. Miriam plunged home over the meadows. She was not afraid of people, what they might say; but she dreaded the issue with him. Yes, she would let him have her if he insisted; and then, when she thought of it afterwards, her heart went down. He would be disappointed, he would find no satisfaction, and then he would go away. Yet he was so insistent; and over this, which did not seem so all-important to her, was their love to break down. After all, he was only like other men, seeking his satisfaction. Oh, but there was something more in him, something deeper! She could trust to it, in spite of all desires. He said that possession was a great moment in life. All strong emotions concentrated there. Perhaps it was so. There was something divine in it; then she would submit, religiously, to the sacrifice. He should have her. And at the thought her whole body clenched itself involuntarily, hard, as if against something; but Life forced her through this gate of suffering, too, and she would submit. At any rate, it would give him what he wanted, which was her deepest wish. She brooded and brooded and brooded herself towards accepting him. He courted her now like a lover. Often, when he grew hot, she put his face from her, held it between her hands, and looked in his eyes. He could not meet her gaze. Her dark eyes, full of love, earnest and searching, made him turn away. Not for an instant would she let him forget. Back again he had to torture himself into a sense of his responsibility and hers. Never any relaxing, never any leaving himself to the great hunger and impersonality of passion; he must be brought back to a deliberate, reflective creature. As if from a swoon of passion she caged him back to the littleness, the personal relationship. He could not bear it. "Leave me alone--leave me alone!" he wanted to cry; but she wanted him to look at her with eyes full of love. His eyes, full of the dark, impersonal fire of desire, did not belong to her. There was a great crop of cherries at the farm. The trees at the back of the house, very large and tall, hung thick with scarlet and crimson drops, under the dark leaves. Paul and Edgar were gathering the fruit one evening. It had been a hot day, and now the clouds were rolling in the sky, dark and warm. Paul combed high in the tree, above the scarlet roofs of the buildings. The wind, moaning steadily, made the whole tree rock with a subtle, thrilling motion that stirred the blood. The young man, perched insecurely in the slender branches, rocked till he felt slightly drunk, reached down the boughs, where the scarlet beady cherries hung thick underneath, and tore off handful after handful of the sleek, cool-fleshed fruit. Cherries touched his ears and his neck as he stretched forward, their chill finger-tips sending a flash down his blood. All shades of red, from a golden vermilion to a rich crimson, glowed and met his eyes under a darkness of leaves.
The sun, going down, suddenly caught the broken clouds. Immense piles of gold flared out in the south-east, heaped in soft, glowing yellow right up the sky. The world, till now dusk and grey, reflected the gold glow, astonished. Everywhere the trees, and the grass, and the far-off water, seemed roused from the twilight and shining. Miriam came out wondering. "Oh!" Paul heard her mellow voice call, "isn't it wonderful?" He looked down. There was a faint gold glimmer on her face,
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Free Ebooks, promotions and lots of
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were sunk, until soon there were si
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"You can have your dinner as soon a
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onnet and her cloak. She smiled whe
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of the cut pastures. The sky overhe
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said Morel. He was extraordinarily
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experience of what being a man mean
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He came and bowed above her. A warm
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He had signed the pledge, and wore
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"Eighty pound, if you're so keen on
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"Did he?" "Yes, he did." The other
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one Sunday morning, to the chatter
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The pity was, she was too much his
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"I'm not sure I wouldn't rather be
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of face that seems to lack eyelashe
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as having some occult, malevolent p
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"Comin' home in his what?" he snarl
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olt behind her with a bang. Then he
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Her quietened heart beginning to be
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CHAPTER II THE BIRTH OF PAUL, AND A
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"Yi--there's one big 'un," he repli
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"Eh!" said Mrs. Anthony. "You can f
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And he went on striking. He was tir
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"What is it?" she asked, feeling si
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"Go now," she said. "I will, my las
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"Goodness!" cried Mrs. Morel. "Mr.
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Whereupon Mrs. Morel, trying to soo
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Suddenly, looking at him, the heavy
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anything it'll make my blood boil,"
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he went across to her, swayed, caug
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"I can do it myself," she replied.
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Immediately he had finished tea he
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"So you filch sixpence out of my pu
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"Why, where should you have gone? Y
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He had a fine constitution, so that
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and tenderness between the separati
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"'Appen 'e is, but that doesn't giv
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But that evening Morel came in from
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And, glaring at the boy, he ran for
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She was very proud of her son. He w
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"And why didn't you tell me?" "Beca
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His mother implored him to take mor
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'I told mother about you this morni
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the face of the hidden doll. Annie
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"Why, what have I done to the child
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So they were happy in the morning--
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of anxiety and expectation in the r
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"Oh, nothing--about famous women."
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This Morel loved to do. "Well, ther
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"Nothing," he replied. But he ate n
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"This childt's axin' for thee; how
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have died rather. "Good gracious!"
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No window was open. Sometimes in wi
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Paul went to the counter. "Seventee
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put it before him. Suddenly he turn
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So the boy remained alone. Mrs. Mor
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Paul was waiting for her. He loved
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Paul looked in the oven; tapped the
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out of this way and went into the f
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home again. Morel hated to go back.
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Christmas Eve. Mrs. Morel surveyed
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cheerily, and immediately began to
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He had brought them endless present
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"I don't know for sure, but it's 'i
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"A comb, a knife and fork and spoon
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with wonderful healing flesh, and s
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So she talked to her son, almost as
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measuring people against himself, a
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Therefore he was soon visiting and
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tight inside him. He would have suf
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of the dragon. They emerged into a
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"Where did you learn to write?" sai
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school now." "He would live in Best
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she's taking that man HIS pudding,
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every second as the flowers was goi
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"She should have her own money if s
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He had the season-ticket, which had
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Paul was led round to a very dark c
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eappeared coatless, turning up a sm
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"You'd better watch me," he said to
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the "Mr." Then all at once Mr. Jord
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"I never said it WAS your fault. Wi
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with so much that she expected her
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When he came in at eight in the mor
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At the end of the song Fanny would
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up two long hills, down two short h
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and driving them nearly mad, while
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"Oh no, we had dinner in the train.
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"It isn't, really!" "You are cold,"
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to everybody's discomfort, and took
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"Was she REALLY getting up when she
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"Won't you go to bed, then?" he ask
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Paul hurried off to the station jub
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"Too young for me, though, I'm afra
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"It's a wild road, mother," said Pa
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"Oh no! We're only too thankful to
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Maurice took his hand full of corn
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"See, it doesn't hurt," he said, an
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Hawthorn was dropping from the hedg
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And in the evening, after supper, h
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"Oh, well, I've gone too far to bre
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for her--a bit of a theatrical show
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So she took cheer. Matters were not
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her nightdress, a comb and brush, s
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"Tha wants Walter Morel? Go in thee
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On Saturday night, as Paul was turn
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her brass candlestick glittering. T
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sat looking blankly in front of her
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of her for love. "For some things,"
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to have as easy a time as he could,
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She helped him off with his coat. H
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"HAVE they, mother?" she cried. "I
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went running because of a few burnt
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He crouched down and carefully put
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"No," he answered. "Where?" "In the
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"I've had a long turn," he said. "B
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"Why DO you?" he asked. "I don't kn
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"Don't!" repeated the child, a frow
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"Ha! Is it? Men have everything." "
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eyes blazed at him. "You don't give
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For many hours she sat still, sligh
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thrilled her, something holy. He wa
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His soul, warm and exposed from con
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Then the next time he saw Miriam he
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Paul looked down the garden for his
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"You should see the Flying Scotsman
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"What is it?" she asked. "The sprin
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loved him for that. Her soul expand
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"Supposing you could have THAT farm
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upon the tree-tops of the oak-wood
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her head and pondered. How could it
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It caused a violent conflict in him
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with the girl, and Mrs. Morel was t
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"I canna see what they want drownin
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"All right," he answered. And when
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against it. His blood was concentra
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abbiting in the woods, like a poach
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"If I'm not SICK!" she cried sudden
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Morel put down his knife and leaned
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"Both first?" "Yes." "H'm!" There w
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He looked at her companion. "I've t
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The boy glanced away. But the smith
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Miriam bowed a little lower. "Yes,"
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"I'm so damned spiritual with YOU a
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"That's all right!" he said. She wa
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"Yes." He knew she was cross with h
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He never went past the pits at nigh
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hours when he knew Miriam was expec
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Orion was for them chief in signifi
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"Oh, my sirs!" he said. "Wheer's my
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drawing herself up to imitate her h
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"Well, I shouldn't be surprised any
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"Not yet," he smiled. "Then, why di
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"Don't what, I should like to know?
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"Send it to Liberty's. I did it for
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"Then you wanted a job," said Beatr
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she exclaimed. She tilted his head
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a tale about his work making him fo
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with Leonard and Annie. She would m
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Her dark eyes were naked with their
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Miriam looked in the bookcase, saw
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Mrs. Morel shifted in her chair, an
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stroking with a rhythmic, jerked mo
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"No, mother--I really DON'T love he
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"Show me!" He would at that moment
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He pressed his face upon the pillow
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just awake from his Sunday nap, was
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"But I love to touch them," she rep
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He sat down against his will, resti
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digging up little clods of earth as
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"But I don't understand," she said
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And she was good to him. She did hi
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Miriam was indignant at anybody's f
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"And you won't think about it, and
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So he went as often, but he was usu
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There was between them now always a
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"Yes," he said; "I am glad." She sa
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Miriam dared not propose anything f
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all the songs his friend could teac
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Clara and her for a walk. They set
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It went up the bank in little leaps
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Clara did not answer, but strode on
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"I don't believe they do." "I don't
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He gathered up the flowers he had s
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"Ah!" she exclaimed. "So she is!" H
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They sat together in the cathedral.
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of angry way." Mrs. Morel considere
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and was splendid in uniform. Annie
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"I shall be with you just the same.
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would he go? The army had not reall
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She was afraid that her hair, speci
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life lay outside their mother's hou
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And again he laughed, in a way that
Page 389 and 390: as two souls. So I feel it. "Ought
Page 391 and 392: afraid something had happened. They
Page 393 and 394: The miner sat heavily in his chair.
Page 395 and 396: dress shirts. But he had an elegant
Page 397 and 398: a thing not very difficult, she kne
Page 399 and 400: "But I want you to be happy," she s
Page 401 and 402: lay on her left, whilst in front of
Page 403 and 404: "Ay, well, and I can remember when
Page 405 and 406: were coming very wide open. Wasn't
Page 407 and 408: He soon made occasion to call again
Page 409 and 410: "Then why ask me about it?" "Becaus
Page 411 and 412: "There is so little likelihood of m
Page 413: And he went away to the other girls
Page 416 and 417: "Yes, you want to know, don't you?"
Page 418 and 419: "You have stayed to dinner!" he exc
Page 420 and 421: She shivered. She loathed the town.
Page 422 and 423: "It's my birthday, and they've boug
Page 424 and 425: Suddenly they came to a halt on top
Page 427 and 428: "Did you leave him out of count all
Page 429 and 430: "What, pray?" "Making him feel as i
Page 431 and 432: to sacrifice himself in a marriage
Page 433 and 434: He went on determinedly. He realise
Page 435 and 436: "I think so," she answered.
Page 437 and 438: "Kiss me," she whispered. He shut h
Page 442 and 443: that looked very soft, turned up to
Page 444 and 445: only to him then a woman. She was a
Page 446 and 447: "Let us stay here awhile," he said.
Page 448 and 449: marsh-marigolds and many big blue f
Page 450 and 451: And he could not do it often, and t
Page 452 and 453: So he gave the account of himself.
Page 454 and 455: of flowers. They flagged all loose,
Page 456 and 457: Miriam met him at the lane-end. She
Page 458 and 459: There was in it some truth that, in
Page 460 and 461: had flattered him, and despised him
Page 462 and 463: She was sure of herself. Only, this
Page 464 and 465: It was nine o'clock when he got hom
Page 466 and 467: to his mother. "Mother," he said, "
Page 468 and 469: He stood in front of her, his eyes
Page 470 and 471: She followed him. He took her hand
Page 472 and 473: "You will meet me at the Fountain a
Page 474 and 475: His mouth the same was just going t
Page 476 and 477: "And I am thirty," she said. "I kno
Page 478 and 479: laughing with excitement. Her shoes
Page 480 and 481: Directly they passed out of sight b
Page 482 and 483: She sat down, panting, on the tusso
Page 484 and 485: sure I feel harmless--so--if it mak
Page 486 and 487: "Yes; I've been down Clifton Grove
Page 488 and 489: "Yes!--yes!--if you'd anything abou
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"Were you late home?" she asked. At
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that's why she stayed with him. Aft
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"I may call in as I go to chapel,"
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"Do you think so?" he answered. "Yo
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front room, with its old piano, its
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her in her talk. There was a lot of
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they became aware of Miriam. There
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of speaking so about Miriam. After
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"I tell you it's only words that go
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a match." He secretly hoped it was
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"She caught the train then?" she sa
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In a maze, he wandered out for a dr
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It was a little dish of chip potato
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on the hearthrug, holding her fork.
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stool to stand on." "That's the wor
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"Fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen
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folded his suit, and sat on the bed
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At length, unable to stand so any m
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"It won't make it no earlier. Here,
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"You'll do as you like," said Mrs.
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"Why, what about th' theatre?" aske
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the man's forehead, he thought he l
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"I might give you a turn or two," s
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"About Baxter." "There's nothing to
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"'The man in righteousness arrayed,
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just now." Dawes knew from his tone
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Mr. Jordan started, marched up to t
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"Have you ever considered where it
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The feeling that things were going
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she asked. "Go somewhere in a prett
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and wondering, like Adam and Eve wh
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"And what is love?" she asked. "Has
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They had a warm hollow in the sandh
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"What is she, after all?" he said t
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short holiday?" "I don't know. Love
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were separate. Where he wanted to g
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"You begin to value Baxter now you'
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with chagrin. "It's something; and
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"Good-evening!" Morel answered, not
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Dawes's struggles suddenly renewed
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He felt he could not bear it. His m
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their teeth, the young men swung th
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"Pains?" "Yes; but not more than I'
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"Mrs. Morel never told Dr. Jameson
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"Of course," said Mrs. Morel. Paul
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the charge of Minnie. Walter Morel
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"Well, I'll write plain." It was no
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"No; it would be silly. And take ca
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"Has he?" she answered wearily. The
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"but it's nice to be in my own home
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in a naked extremity of hate, and i
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He lay staring across at the wall o
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more information. She went about sh
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him tired. He was not sorry when he
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It all seemed unreal, he could not
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as if paralysed, unable to go any f
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"There are different ways of dying.
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"It's not been much of a week-end,"
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only that place to come to. He was
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she kissed him and kissed him. He s
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"Go and sit with her while we have
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"What are you doing?" said Annie. "
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"Ay," said the mother--"try." They
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He nodded. They sat down again help
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He drew up the blind and got dresse
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There was a good deal to do, letter
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They would not let anybody come to
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Down below she saw a dark corner of
Page 629 and 630:
But Dawes, with rather shaky hand,
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"And I don't see," said Paul, "why
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The three stood at a loss. She kept
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"Why don't I?" She looked again out
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to her; he dared not give it her. S
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to him. He let go the curtain, turn
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He was most himself when he was alo
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Then, quite mechanically and more d
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"I mustn't," he said; and, turning
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ing you back." "Very well," she rep
Page 650 and 651:
"I say--that sounds all right for y
Page 652 and 653:
"And you have broken off with Clara
Page 654 and 655:
She was aware of his dark-clothed,
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"I'll come along with you," he answ
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Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

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