Sons and Lovers - Daimon Club

"She caught the train then?" she said.
"Yes."
"I hope HER feet weren't so filthy. Where on earth you dragged
her I don't know!"
He was silent and motionless for some time.
"Did you like her?" he asked grudgingly at last.
"Yes, I liked her. But you'll tire of her, my son; you know
you will."
He did not answer. She noticed how he laboured in his breathing.
"Have you been running?" she asked.
"We had to run for the train."
"You'll go and knock yourself up. You'd better drink hot milk."
It was as good a stimulant as he could have, but he refused
and went to bed. There he lay face down on the counterpane,
and shed tears of rage and pain. There was a physical pain
that made him bite his lips till they bled, and the chaos inside
him left him unable to think, almost to feel.
"This is how she serves me, is it?" he said in his heart,
over and over, pressing his face in the quilt. And he hated her.
Again he went over the scene, and again he hated her.
The next day there was a new aloofness about him. Clara was
very gentle, almost loving. But he treated her distantly,
with a touch of contempt. She sighed, continuing to be gentle.
He came round.
One evening of that week Sarah Bernhardt was at the Theatre Royal
in Nottingham, giving "La Dame aux Camelias". Paul wanted to see
this old and famous actress, and he asked Clara to accompany him.
He told his mother to leave the key in the window for him.
"Shall I book seats?" he asked of Clara.
"Yes. And put on an evening suit, will you? I've never seen
you in it."
"But, good Lord, Clara! Think of ME in evening suit
at the theatre!" he remonstrated.
"Would you rather not?" she asked.
"I will if you WANT me to; but I s'll feel a fool."
She laughed at him.
"Then feel a fool for my sake, once, won't you?"
The request made his blood flush up.
"I suppose I s'll have to."
"What are you taking a suitcase for?" his mother asked.
He blushed furiously.
"Clara asked me," he said.