Reading Body Language

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96 Part II: Starting at the Top Figure 6-2: Pursed, or ‘prune lips’, indicate measured thinking. Pursing as a sign of disagreement Pursed lips, in which the lips are puckered in a rounded shape of disagreement, connivance, or calculated thought, send a message of considered dissent (see Figure 6-2). Pursed lips can show that someone’s thinking, considering his next move, before he says or does anything. He’s holding his thoughts in before letting them out. One of the signs of disagreement is pursed lips. If you’re at a dinner party and your partner is about to spill the beans, a stern pursing of the lips pointed in your partner’s direction should stop the flow. Because pursed lips give a sign of disagreement – and wrinkles the lips, which is aging – you may want to avoid the gesture, unless you want to be known as Old Prune Face. If you’re making a proposal or putting forward a suggestion, and your listener meets your ideas with pursed lips, signalling mental resistance, ask him if he disagrees before continuing your verbal argument. By clearing the air, you make the other person better disposed to understand your position. Equally, he’s going to be impressed with your intuitive grasp of his thinking process.
Tensing your lips and biting back your words When you lock your jaw, your lips tighten. They pull back over your teeth in a closed position. This expression is different from pursed lips because pursed lips push forward. With tightened lips – whether you’re displaying signs of anger, frustration, or demonstrating threatening behaviour – no one can doubt that you’re not to be trifled with. Imagine that you’re at your company’s Annual General Meeting. In a room full of differing opinions, personal agendas, and subterfuge, the tension rises. Your lips tighten as your jaw locks into position. The tight lips keep the anger from shooting out. Graeme was invited to attend a meeting at which several of the company’s key decision-makers were present. Many of the points and positions that Graeme heard were in direct contrast to his sense of the business. Although with his own team Graeme expressed himself freely and encouraged exchange, in the company meeting, where it was clear that outside contributions weren’t welcome, he found himself holding back his thoughts. At one point he observed his own behaviour, noticing that his mouth was in a tense line across his face, with his lips rolled inward and his teeth pressing down on them. The longer he held this position the more negative he felt. Changing thoughts and behaviours When you’re about to move to a different position, be it physically or mentally, your lips come into play. As you end one thought or action and are about to begin another, your lips close, if only fractionally, indicating that you’ve finished with one thought and are about to begin another. Observe a person whose mouth is in a tensed position. See if he experiences a mood shift, expresses an unexpected thought, or abruptly changes his point of view. Differentiating Smiles Chapter 6: Lip <strong>Reading</strong> Smiling is universally recognised as a sign of happiness. Smiles come in a wide variety ranging from signalling appeasement to that of the playful child. 97
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Body Language FOR DUMmIES‰ by Eli
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About the Author Elizabeth Kuhnke h
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Publisher’s Acknowledgements We
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Table of Contents Introduction.....
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Table of Contents Masking Emotions.
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Table of Contents The power chop ..
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Table of Contents Negotiating Style
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Introduction Body language speaks l
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How This Book Is Organised The cool
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Where to Go from Here Introduction
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Part I In the Beginning Was the Ges
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In This Chapter Chapter 1 Defining
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Chapter 1: Defining Body Language E
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Chapter 1: Defining Body Language c
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Chapter 1: Defining Body Language R
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Figure 1-2: The hands over the hear
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Figure 1-4: The Bonaparte pose conv
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Some examples of signature gestures
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In the 1970s, Paul Ekman of the Uni
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When you see the sides of the lips
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The people who demonstrate respect
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Chapter 1: Defining Body Language a
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Chapter 1: Defining Body Language A
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Chapter 2 Looking Closer at Non-ver
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Chapter 2: Looking Closer at Non-ve
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eaction, or output. The process is
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Part II Starting at the Top
Page 59 and 60: Chapter 3 Heading to the Heart of t
Page 61 and 62: Figure 3-1: Arrogance can be convey
Page 63 and 64: Figure 3-2: A forward tilting foreh
Page 65 and 66: Chapter 3: Heading to the Heart of
Page 67 and 68: Micro nodding Often people end thei
Page 69 and 70: An Italian research project investi
Page 71 and 72: Figure 3-3: The head cradle provide
Page 73 and 74: Resting your head in your hand, out
Page 75 and 76: In This Chapter Chapter 4 Facial Ex
Page 77 and 78: Chapter 4: Facial Expressions Recog
Page 79 and 80: Masking Emotions Chapter 4: Facial
Page 81 and 82: Figure 4-2: Insincere people use on
Page 83 and 84: approached the men, she noticed a m
Page 85 and 86: Surprise! An expression of surprise
Page 87 and 88: Chapter 4: Facial Expressions liste
Page 89 and 90: In This Chapter Understanding the
Page 91 and 92: Chapter 5: The Eyes Have It Lizzie
Page 93 and 94: To show disapproval, disagreement,
Page 95 and 96: The prevalent and powerful supersti
Page 97 and 98: The Wandering Eye: Breaking Eye Con
Page 99 and 100: Figure 5-2: The sideways glance wit
Page 101 and 102: Diana, Princess of Wales was except
Page 103 and 104: Sit in a hotel lobby or at a bar an
Page 105 and 106: In This Chapter Chapter 6 Lip Readi
Page 107 and 108: Loose lips People who are relaxed,
Page 109: Figure 6-1: The pout covers a wide
Page 113 and 114: Figure 6-3: Smiling with tight lips
Page 115 and 116: Figure 6-5: The turnaway smile elic
Page 117 and 118: passages. Some land in your chest a
Page 119 and 120: Part III The Trunk: Limbs and Roots
Page 121 and 122: In This Chapter Chapter 7 Take It F
Page 123 and 124: Figure 7-2: Depressed posture colla
Page 125 and 126: your feelings are intense it’s li
Page 127 and 128: Figure 7-4: The iceberg reveals the
Page 129 and 130: According to research by the Americ
Page 131 and 132: In Rogers and Hammerstein’s music
Page 133 and 134: The next time you’re at an event
Page 135 and 136: According to English zoologist Desm
Page 137 and 138: Rory is a secondary school chemistr
Page 139 and 140: In This Chapter Shutting people ou
Page 141 and 142: Two groups of volunteers were asked
Page 143 and 144: Figure 8-1: Crossed arms with thumb
Page 145 and 146: notes, the way she held it clearly
Page 147 and 148: Touching to Convey Messages Chapter
Page 149 and 150: Get your timing right when touching
Page 151 and 152: An embryo, rocking in its mother’
Page 153 and 154: In This Chapter Chapter 9 It’s in
Page 155 and 156: Figure 9-2: The raised open palm dr
Page 157 and 158: Figure 9-3: The downward facing pal
Page 159 and 160: The finger jab, the wag’s closest
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The folded hand You may think that
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Figure 9-6: The fig leaf offers pro
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Figure 9-8: The thumb and forefinge
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To show power but with a little les
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Figure 9-11: The lowered steeple in
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Deciding who reaches out first Alth
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Chapter 9: It's in the Palm of Your
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Figure 9-13: Space invaders demand
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When people are feeling anxious the
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In This Chapter Chapter 10 Standing
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Figure 10-1: The straddle stance st
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Figure 10-2: The parallel stance is
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If you notice someone standing with
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Reflecting Your Feelings by the Way
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Chapter 10: Standing Your Ground am
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Figure 10-4: Although the man may b
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In This Chapter Projecting your se
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Shaking a shoe. Nervous energy buil
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Controlling the conversation You ca
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Although both men and women smoke t
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Famous cigar smoking public figures
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Your choice of accessories and how
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Chapter 11: Playing with Props A ti
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Part IV Putting the Body into Socia
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Chapter 12 Territorial Rights and R
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Hall defined five concentric spatia
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The media has brought strangers int
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Guarding your space In addition to
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When your personal space is unavoid
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Cooperating When you work on a task
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The expressions ‘left wing’ and
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Chapter 12: Territorial Rights and
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Elevating yourself An Olympic gold
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In This Chapter Attracting someone
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Men aren’t very good at reading t
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5. Touch. If a woman’s still inte
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Facial expressions: Women use livel
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Figure 13-2: The headcant demonstra
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Figure 13-4: A raised shoulder high
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Figure 13-5: Men rank the leg twine
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University of Chicago biopsychologi
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In This Chapter Chapter 14 Intervie
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Chapter 14: Interviewing, Influenci
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Standing tall and holding your grou
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Figure 14-2: Pointing your body dir
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On the reality television show The
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If you want to be perceived as conf
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In This Chapter Chapter 15 Crossing
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Chapter 15: Crossing the Cultural D
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elation to another person. This beh
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Like southern Europeans and unlike
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Chapter 15: Crossing the Cultural D
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else at the table directly in the e
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In This Chapter Showing that you
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Drawing Conclusions from What You O
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have had a disagreement. As you bot
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Part V The Part of Tens
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In This Chapter Chapter 17 Ten Ways
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Chapter 17: Ten Ways to Spot Decept
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Minimising Hand Gestures A valuable
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In This Chapter Showing that you c
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Using Open Gestures Open gestures w
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Attractive people take pride in the
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Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Find Out ab
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Mirroring Others By mirroring, or r
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Chapter 20: Ten Ways to Improve You
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• A • abdomen, breathing from,
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eckoning with the head, 50 belladon
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confrontation avoiding, 83 chair po
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facial expressions showing, 61-62,
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eflecting gestures, 28 revealing th
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interviews. See also business situa
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The Naked Ape, 11 on putting object
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downward facing palm showing, 143 e
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genuine, 66, 68, 268 lop-sided, 99-
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Try This icon, 4 turn-away smile, 1
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Reading Body Language

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