Reading Body Language

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Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context
Men stand taller, thrust up their chins, and expand their chests, making them
look like the king of the jungle. Women tilt their heads, flick their hair, and
expose their wrists and necks, demonstrating vulnerability and submissiveness.
Your eyes dilate if you find another person attractive. And you can do
nothing to stop it. If things go to plan, the recipient of your gaze unconsciously
responds in a similar way and the excitement begins.
Vickie is a particularly attractive woman. A former model, she has kept her
figure trim and fit, wears just enough make up to highlight her perfectly
formed features, and moves with purpose and energy. One day Vickie and I
went out to brunch. As she walked through the restaurant I noticed a man
tracking her while continuing his conversation with his partner. Although he
didn’t move his head, the muscles around his mouth raised, he slightly
adjusted his seating position while expanding his chest, his eyes widened,
and he watched her out of the corner of his eye until she had passed. Once
she was out of his line of vision his body reverted to its original position and
he continued his conversation as if nothing had happened.
Christine was strolling along the beach one afternoon not paying much attention
to herself or the other people until she noticed coming towards her a
very fit, handsome young man. Without thinking she immediately adjusted
her posture by pulling in her stomach, squaring her shoulders, and straightening
her back. Her energy heightened, she flicked her hair off her face, and
put a spring into her step. As they got closer to one another, she noticed that
the man had also adjusted his posture and by the time they were close
enough to see each other fully they looked one another in the eye and smiled.
Christine may have allowed her interest to take her to the next step of engaging
him in conversation if she hadn’t remembered that she had a handsome
young husband waiting for her at home.
When you’re rating someone’s attractiveness and in turn are being rated,
messages that convey interest, keenness, and compatibility are constantly
being relayed. No matter how old, fit, or capable people are, they’re all checking
each other out.
Here are some things to keep in mind as you go courting:
Women usually make the first move: Research shows that 90 per cent
of the time women initiate the first move in the mating game. I can hear
my mother now: ‘Nice girls don’t show that they’re interested. They wait
for the man to make the first move.’ Well, apparently not. Women go for
it. Men simply respond. Women send out a series of subtle movements
to the man she’s lined up in her sights. If she’s good at it the man thinks
that he’s taking the lead although in fact he’s just dancing to her tune.
If a woman is to succeed in the ritual she has to count on the man to
decode the signals she sends out. She must then respond to the signs he
sends back in a way that gives him the green light to move to the next
stage. For a man to succeed in this game he has to be able to read the
signals correctly.