Standouts - The Beat Within

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Page 13
Pieces of the week
My Nephew, Myshawn
My nephew, Myshawn, died in his sleep from infant sudden death,
when he was only five months old. He was my sister, Myeika’s, only
child.
When I was out with my nephew, I was around him, holding
him, feeding him, changing his diapers, just making him smile, and
letting him hear music that I listen to. When he cried, I would give
him his pacifier or give him a bottle, or let my sis hold him. I would
smile at him, rub his belly, tickle him to make him laugh.
I would take him in the front of my house, so he could see the
girls. They would be on him tough. He would also sit on my lap while
I’m playing “Call of Duty” or “Madden.” When I would be around and
he was crying, I would pick him up and he would be real chill, and
nibble on his fingers, and make baby sounds.
His dad went to jail when he was three months. His dad loved
him. We would sit around, watch TV, listen to music, just the three
of us.
He was five months when I went to jail. During the whole day,
he was not eating anything, and when he went to sleep at two PM,
he had trouble breathing. At eleven PM, he died.
My sister was a wreck. I was also furious, because I wasn’t
there to support her. I never saw him again, and my PO didn’t let me
go to his funeral.
-Money Vern, San Francisco
From The Beat: We’re so sorry about your baby nephew’s passing. You
were a tender, loving uncle. Don’t you need to be out, home with your
family, even if it means you can’t do whatever brings you into juvy any
more? It’s time.
What’s Goin’ On?
What’s goin’ on in the streets besides violence?
You step outside the house and all you hear is sirens.
You can’t go to the park and just have fun, ‘cause always
violence involving a gun.
What’s goin’ on, there’s never any peace. Not when you’re
here or in the east.
-Jeremi, Alameda
From The Beat: Great piece! What can we all do to help obtain more
peace in our communities?
Whatever It Takes
When I’m in jail I feel like a caged animal, even though I made the
decision to get myself locked up behind a blue door that I know I
can’t come out when I feel like it. I’ve been stressing very much for
myself and family because I know that my family are not doing good
when I’m in here, and I can’t help or talk to them when they are
stressing. It sometimes makes me want to cry because I’m headed
for a downfall. Even though I try to do my best to do right, to show
people I’m not as bad as I act when I’m around my friends or family.
When I get home I’m going to do my best to stay in school and
get my high school diploma, and get a good job, because I want to
make something of myself. Some of my family members say I’m a
messup and I’ll always disgrace them and myself because all I do
is smoke weed and hang out and go to jail and I never learn from
my mistakes. I play football for a Catholic High School, and could
make it to college, but I make bad choices. I wonder if I can do it.
Sometimes my girlfriend says she knows I’m good and can make
a good life in real estate, which is mainly my dream, and I will do
whatever it takes to accomplish my dreams.
-Devian, Alameda
From The Beat: Of course you can do it! You have talent and intelligence,
and it shows from your writing that you’ve thought long and hard
about what it is that gets you in trouble. But making changes is hard
to do alone. Do you have positive peers, and coaches, teachers, or
family members you respect who can support you, and who believe
that you can do well if you want to? Most importantly, do you believe
in yourself?
Pieces of the Week
Volume 17.01/02
The Challenges in Today’s World
Man, as I sit up in a cell thinking of all the things I’ve been through
in my life, from both good and bad, it’s not even a joke. I’m seventeen
years old, about to be eighteen as I sit here and realize the trial
and tribulations of what I could be facing in my life is crazy. The
pain and suffering I’m putting my family through because of the bad
decision I’ve made.
I have been coming to this juvenile detention facility since I
was thirteen years old. I’ve been in your shoes and I know how it
feels to get to missing your family. I know how it feels not to be
called up for mail. I know how it feels not get a visit, and to sit in
your room with nothing to do, but to think about things that you
never thought you’d catch yourself thinking of. I know how it feels
to only take a three to five minute shower, and to wear somebody
else’s clothes. To be told what to do from people that you don’t even
know and people that most likely don’t care for you, or even want to
try to help you or guide you down the right track. I know how it feels
and I understand.
Think about all that for just one second.
Do you even want to be going through this (criminal justice)
system? I can tell you all now, that none of you want to be going
through these situations, and I already know it’s a lot of challenges
you face out in society. But in order to change, you got to switch up
your style of living, including the friends you hang with, and start
accepting responsibility in your life.
Stop doing things the easy way, just take your place as a young
man and women, instead of moving too fast for things that’s really
worthless in your life. Stop presenting yourself with a bad image,
because that could only get you so far selling drugs, doing dope,
prostituting, and robbing people, is only going to come down to
death or life behind bars. You can only get so many chances and
sometime none at all.
That’s really the sad part to see young people waste their lives
for the dumb things. Don’t let it get too late to finally open up your
eyes to realize the open opportunities that you have of getting an
education. Best believe I understand as a young teen, school is not
your motivation, and you rather be doing other things, but stop
while you can. Take the advantage to get all that you can get in the
line of success. Make it for yourself and make your family proud
of you. Don’t ever think you can’t amount to becoming somebody
because of your past.
Remember this, no matter how hard things may get, never
give up until you make it to the top. Don’t let the thing you been
through keep you from standing strong. Let all the things you’ve
been through make you smarter and wiser in life, as a young lady,
and young man. I’m not saying anybody changes within a day, never
that, it takes time.
I hope everything I’ve said here will hopefully give you a second
look at life and you live life for what it is worth. Stop living in this
big lie, and start living in the truth of reality. Stay with a positive
attitude and strive for your dreams and goals in your life. Stay
dedicated, motivated, and determined to be successful in life, don’t
let being a criminal mess that up for you, because there is so much
in life than that.
Thank you for listening (reading), keep standing tall, always
with your head up
-Baby James, Solano
From The Beat: You deliver an awesome read! We know you are a
teacher at heart, and your words in this piece speak volumes. We hope
Beat readers will find your words the motivation we find them to be.
I play football for a
Catholic High School, and
could make it to college,
but I make bad choices.