Standouts - The Beat Within

TheBeatWithin.org
Page 61
...I just start crying and try
to tell them that everything is
going to be okay and that I’m
going to change my ways.
How Much My Parents Love Me
I love my parents ‘cause every time I’m locked up they come visit me
and they tell me that how lucky I am ‘cause they visit. But they don’t
have to, that’s what they tell me, and they tell me that to stay out of
trouble and go to school ‘cause they know that I don’t go to school.
Every time I skip school with my friends, they (my friends)
always tell me to go with them just to go smoke weed or go with
some girls and I’m just weak minded. And my dad always tells me
to be a man of my own actions and to be responsible with my own
responsibilities. And he tells me that one day my mom and dad are
not going to be there, that they might just pass away. And I just
start crying and try to tell them that everything is going to be okay
and that I’m going to change my ways.
-Flaco
From The Beat: We think your dad gave you a good piece of advice – to
be a man of your actions and be responsible. We can think of no better
time than now, before you get in any deeper, to change your ways and
show your parents how much you appreciate them. What is one thing
you can do today (not tomorrow, or in the future, but right now), to
move forward with this?
Standouts
Monterey County
Volume 16.47/48
Wishing For Some Trust
I love my parents. Just like everyone else, they teach me right from
wrong. I didn’t seem to listen. I’m just a hardheaded young man. If
there were something I could get from my parents, it would be their
trust so they could look at me like they used to.
Ever since I started gang banging and doing drugs they look at
me different. Not only them, but also everyone looks at me like I’m
different when I’m not. I have feelings too. I get sad, mad, happy and
fall in love just like everyone else. What I’m trying to say is I wish
my parents could trust me so they could look at me the same, but
till then keep wishing upon a star…
-Stuby
From The Beat: You’re still able to earn the trust of your parents, but at
what cost? You’ve got to ask yourself what’s more important: drugs and
gang banging or family? Take baby-steps and begin to slowly show
your parents that you can be trusted.
Control
If you got to worry about her doing things while you’re locked up,
then she ain’t the one for you. There’s nothing I could do to stop
you if you want to play games. I could only call yo’ phone and hope
yo’ feelings don’t change.
Hundred days up in here now I know it’s been a long time. Hold
on for another night; I’ll be out before sunshine. Hopin’ you stick to
your word and wait however long it takes. If you don’t I’ll never love
again ‘cause I learn from mistakes. A broken heart is hard to mend,
don’t know if I would be the same. I guess I’d be another victim to
her filthy dirty games.
-J
From The Beat: One good (and humbling) lesson that you point out
is that you can’t control someone else’s actions or feelings – only your
own. While heart ache is painful, we hope you don’t give up and don’t
rule it out altogether based on one person/experience – then you are
giving up and letting her actions control and determine your life. And
as you say, you can’t stop her from playing games – well she also can’t
stop you from loving again.
Standouts Los Angeles County Volume 17.01/02
Bad Trip
I went on a really bad trip when I tried shrooms for my second time.
The walls were attacking me in my mind. I was smoking a blunt
before I did it too. Well anywho I was trippin’ bro, but my first time
it was cool. I saw leprechauns it was awesome. They started dancing
and everything crazy right, but yeah it was on 420 and that’s my
story.
-Axel
From The Beat: So, was your second trip so bad that you don’t remember
it, or care to talk about it? You mention your first experience with
detail, but all we got from your bad experience was just that – it was
a bad one. Do you think it’s human nature to want to block out the
bad memories?
Two Strikes
Locked up again two strikes,
I’m still a teen,
Every time I wake up my heart skips a beat,
Can’t stop until I drop.
Posted with the buddies waiting for lunch to come,
Staff acting naughty taking our points one by one.
Been here for awhile, with the same hair styles,
Visiting we only get a couple hours,
When I’m locked up I’m the boss that has powers.
-Brown Boy
From The Beat: Don’t be so driven by the past that you throw away
your future. Use your powers to move yourself forward, make a better
life for yourself that does not involve being rated on a point system. If
not, what a waste of these powers you have.
Parents
There’s only one thing I’ve always wanted from my mom and dad.
And it’s the only thing I’ve always asked for and sadly, I still never
got. To be accepted! Being accepted is what I strived for. To be
accepted for who I am not for who they want me to be. The more I
run the harder it is. So now I’m going to stop running!
-Lil Joel
From The Beat: Now that you’ve decided you’re no longer going to run,
comes the difficult, but also very rewarding part – recognizing who
you were and realizing who you want to be. Being comfortable with
and accepting yourself is a gradual process – don’t give up and get
frustrated too easily. Good luck!
I Hate It When…
I hate it when I’m in here! It gets me mad when I get told what to
do by the probation officers. When my mom don’t even tell me what
to do like they do. I hate it when I get told to use the restroom and
brush my teeth. I hate it when I get woken up by the whistle almost
every morning. I hate it when staff will yell at you and you always
have to bit your tongue. I hate it when I come back!
-Gilbert
From The Beat: If you hate it so much in here, don’t come back. Don’t
give them a reason to put you back here. You know what you need to
do to stay out – so what’s stopping you?
My New Years Resolutions
My New Years resolutions are to stop drinking and listen more to
my mom and probation officer. These are going to be my goals to
accomplish so I can get off of probation. I need to listen to my
parent’s rules.
-Angel
From The Beat: Those are great goals to have! We’re confident that
you’ll be able to accomplish these and get off of probation!