Standouts - The Beat Within

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TheBeatWithin.org Page 16 co-Pieces of the week Co-Pieces of the Week Volume 17.01/02 Forgiveness I forgive what you’ve done All the things you’ve become The fire in my eyes was first fear I remember the times I would cry out in rage Dreaming I wasn’t trapped in this cage You left me all alone By myself with nothing to hold But I forgive you, I know you care, So why aren’t you here? I know you love me So why don’t you hold me? I ask these questions as the time flies Wishing my mom wouldn’t say goodbye, Why would you leave me here to cry? It’s ok, I forgive you, I understand it’s not your fault. The only way for me to love you is to forgive Forget, and simply hug you. Even when you push, even when you fight, I’ll always love you with all my might. -Tony, Santa Clara From the Beat: We’re glad to hear that no matter what, you won’t give up on your relationship with your mother. Forgiveness is one of the most mature traits a person can have, and it’s great that you’re making such an important choice. Saved Dear God, save me from all my sin. Push them away and don’t hover. Let them come back and if they do Stab them in their back Make them go to hell And never come back. -Ivan, Honolulu, HI From The Beat: You are clear that sinning is no longer part of your path. Each time there is a temptations, you can remember what you wrote here, remember to do the right thing. Too Much Truth Can Burn You turn up my fire And you burn me with your flame Fire and desire, and we’re both to blame You ask me to be honest, but, baby, too much truth can burn When I’m with you, I can’t sleep, and without you, I feel the same These two insomnias are driving me insane The pain in my heart can’t be solved with painkillers And, baby, I hate this feeling Your body got me fiendin’, and I miss your sweet taste Rainy nights ain’t the same anymore, and without you, I feel lost This world is getting cold, and I can’t make it on my own Hold my hand, baby, and we will get through these days I promise to put a smile in your precious face April 2009, remember the day when we kissed in class You were holding my hand real tight, then you whispered in my ear “I love you,” and after we both got kicked out of class I will always rock our promise ring, no matter what comes down You’re my man, don’t ever forget that -Lupe, San Francisco From The Beat: When someone you love asks you to be honest, do you think it’s better to reveal your intimate business or keep it to yourself? Has someone’s honesty ever hurt you? Is anything nobody’s business but yours? The Burglary And The Ring I hated my last court day. As I was talking to my lawyer he said they were trying to give me two strikes but I wouldn’t have it so I told him to try to get one dropped, so he goes and asks the DA. He comes back and tells me they dropped both of them and I was getting released! So I go in the court and the victim was in there. The victim got up in front of the whole court and said how his kids got traumatized and are afraid to stay home alone. He also begged me that if I could get his wife’s wedding ring it would mean so much to them, not because of the price, but because of the memories that they had with the ring. When he was done I guess the judge felt bad and postponed my court a week later so that she can decide if I’m getting released or if I’m going to the ranch, so now I’m locked up again waiting for my next court date. -Palafox, Santa Clara From the Beat: We’re sorry to hear that you had such a tough day in court. However, it’s great to hear you be so honest about your past actions. This kind of honesty is important, and it shows a lot of character. Saved I think I got saved one day by one of my ex-girlfriends. One day I was walking to her house, on drugs and drunk, and I was getting followed by a rival gang. My lady had called me and asked me where I was, and I told her I was not going to show up because I was trying to surprise her. She knew I was drunk and she didn’t like me drinking, and I hung up the phone. I was still being followed, and when I hit the street corner by a 7-Eleven they got down and started to jump me. I got hit with a bat in my ribs, but they didn’t break they just got bruised. But my lady was already driving around looking for me, and when she saw a lot of guys jumping someone she stopped her car and knew it was me. She started screaming, “stop,” and they ran in their car and left. She saved me ‘cause I could’ve been killed or stabbed. That’s all for today. -Tony, Santa Clara From The Beat: It definitely sounds like your ex saved you. How did that experience change you? Tell us more! Saved from a Bullet Man, one way I can say that I was saved was from a bullet. I was walking down the street and was way too high for my own good. I was with the homies and a random car passed by and about thirty to forty shots were fired from four different guns. I could have been dead if it was not for my big homie. I would have been gone. I froze up from the sound of so many gun shots, he grabbed me and pushed me to the floor. It was God that made him look at me so I thank both of them for saving me. -T, Los Angeles From The Beat: Wow, that’s an incredible story! We’re thankful that you are alive to tell it! What Won’t Go Away The thing that will never go away is the scar on my hand. I really get irritated when people ask me what happened and I really don’t like the scar. It’s weird and will never go away. It really won’t go way because every time I look down I see this weird scar on my hand. Every time I shake someone’s hand, I think of the scar. It just would be really good if I just went away. –Herbie, Los Angeles From The Beat: This is like the beginning of a story. You have made us curious about this scar. How did it get there? We would love to know more about this scar. What does it represent in your life? What does it remind you of that you wish it didn’t?
TheBeatWithin.org Page 17 co-Pieces of the week Can’t Turn Away Something I wanted to run away from was my sick alcoholic mother. Something I still can’t turn away from is the one I loved--my father. My mom would leave us abandoned at home with no food on the table to eat. I remember at age four my heart, with anticipation, would beat as she blew weed in our face. We thought it was fun at our age. She beat me every time I peed. I would cry, “Please mommy, don’t hit me.” She would go with many other guys. That is the reason my sisters and brother have different dads. She has told me so many lies that even now I feel like a ticking time bomb as mad as hell. The police told us we’re going to a foster home. My mom didn’t act like she cared even though we were confused and scared. My dear God sent my grandma to take care of us. I stood there watching as my mom got handcuffed. I was saved by my grandma at age five. I was so happy it was her. I’m glad I was able to live my life and that I have her to look up to. -Brittany, Los Angeles From The Beat: This is a good piece of writing that makes us feel your heartbreak. We’re so glad you have your grandma. Follow her wisdom when you go home! Teen Mom Struggles Having a baby is a real crazy experience. As a young teenage mother, I will tell you the truth and nothing but the truth. It is the most painful experience ever, but once it comes out, it is all good- until you want to go to sleep, every single time the baby will make sure you stay up. As the child gets older it takes everything you have. If you don’t like to share you better learn now because you will always have a smaller shadow. -T, Los Angeles From The Beat: We like the descriptive image of the small shadow. You’ve done a good job of telling us how you feel being a young parent—and we are sure many others can relate to what you’ve said. A Dad Who Came Back I would like to thank my dad, because even though he left for a while in my life, he came back with all the love and apologies he had. My dad has been a big impact in my life, cause he’s been through it all. He was on drugs just like me, but he recovered for himself and my sisters and I. When he came back he never stopped loving me until this day. No matter what I’ve done, he was still there for me and that is why I want to thank him, for leaving my mom who chose drugs over us. I want to thank him for not leaving all of my life, and for doing anything he can to change, and be there for me. I will never thank him enough for what he’s done. -Miranda, Fresno From The Beat: Your dad’s story is powerful, and is an example of the positive changes that can happen in a person’s life. How can you use his story of hope to turn your own life around? Changing the Cycle What won’t go away from my life even though I try hard, is coming back to jail. I get released and within a month I’m back in awaiting my court date. I hate being busted but there’s nothing I can do ‘cause when I’m out, all I think about is putting in work for the varrio, smoking weed and kicking back in the hood. This time when I get released I’m going to try hard not to come back and change the cycle of something that won’t go away. -Scrappy, Los Angeles From The Beat: It sounds like you love your life in the varrio. There is a whole world beyond that is just waiting for you to discover it. Give yourself more options, more choices. Tell us in your writing what those options might be. Co-Pieces of the Week Volume 17.01/02 Anger Here we go once Again. Another one Of my dreams in The wind. This is too many Times my heart Is being broken You told me, don’t Do it you said Drugs are not The way I was a young Child you got high And told me FORGET IT GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY And to this day I haven’t been The same I Tried to maintain But instead I Chose to gangbang I wonder what would my life Have been if I didn’t go Outside that evening. -Tasia, Los Angeles From The Beat: Very good writing. One hard lesson we learn in life is that the actions of a moment can affect us for the rest of our lives. You have expressed this powerfully here. You went out that night. We all have moments that we look back on and say to ourselves, “if only I hadn’t done that, if only…” But we did do it and forever after we must face the consequences of our actions. However, life goes on and we still have the chance to make BETTER choices, to learn from the past. That is what we hope for you! Listening If I could go back in time I would have listened to my mom and family because if I would have listened to my family I wouldn’t be in this mess right now. I would have been out getting my life together— working, finishing high school, etc. I wouldn’t be here wasting time, I would be taking time to do different things that would actually get me somewhere in life. I would be building a house with bricks instead of building it with sand, which is what I’m doing by being in here and not out there. -Temper, Santa Clara From The Beat: The last line of this is extremely strong. It’s important to create a strong foundation (with bricks) instead of with sand. It’s not to late to create a strong foundation, and it’s never too late to finish school! Stealing I have stolen a lot of money from my sister. I needed money to buy drugs. I am really ashamed. I was a teenager and to be honest I didn’t feel bad at all, but I almost got caught a few times. Every time my sister would ask my brother and me, I would lie and say I didn’t know who did it. I have stolen several thousand dollars from her. Now I am eighteen years old and I look back and feel so bad. I want to tell her I’m sorry but she will just hate my guts. It’s best not to say anything. Stealing from family is worse, stealing from your parents is the very worst. It is not the same as stealing from a stranger, stealing from a stranger is better because your family is not getting hurt. -J, Santa Clara From the Beat: This is a tough situation to be in. Is there a way you can tell your sister without her becoming upset? For example, you could earn back the money you stole from her and give it back. We hope you’re able to resolve this situation.
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Standouts - The Beat Within

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