Standouts - The Beat Within

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Page 31
My Hope Is Gone
Hope is something I want to feel every day, my hope is gone. Every
time I feel I can do right, I prove myself wrong because I don’t have
hope. I hope I have it but I just don’t feel it, every time I take one
step forward, I get knocked back even farther…so my hope vibe goes
down lower.
I want to have hope, faith, confident, but I just can’t because I
get knocked back five hundred steps farther when I try to live up to
those curriculum but I just can’t, ‘cause I have no hope!
-Nyla
From The Beat: We know that it’s easy to get discouraged, but we can
also tell by your spirit and your other writing that there is a part of you
that DOES have hope, that knows you have talent and potential and
that you can do right by yourself. We all get knocked down – but it’s
the getting back up that we should be proud of. Tell us about the last
time you got back up after being knocked down!
To Be Sad But Not Mad
Oh, look, when I’m usually outside of juvy, I usually get mad and
want to get up and fight them. But I take three breaths a day so I can
calm my anger. I like it when Ms. Webb comes, ‘cause I can talk to
her a lot. Here is my poem:
I live, I laugh
I see, I walk,
Can’t believe where I’m at today
Hoping some way I can get out of here
Start a new path
Saving myself from jail
Realizing what I did
Hoping I never do it again.
-Jerry
From The Beat: Great poem, Jerry, and also a great vision for your
future. We hope this “new path” takes you to success. You have grown
so much during your time in the Hall, we know that you have learned
powerful new skills to take with you out into the world.
I Got The Most Game
When I was running the world
Three days ago FYI
I got the most game
Ball out till I fall out
Weak ninjas get called out
Money was the goal but that got old
Then I was in the navy and yo’ girl tried to shave me
Hands on dope in since 1981
One aim mayne never be tame
Gotta keep it same where is the frame that’s the line to blame
-Jalil
From The Beat: You have so much talent, Jalil. Some of your rhymes are
very imaginative and strong, but remember: Never rhyme for the sake
of the rhyme, make sure your rhymes mean something!
I Love Myself, If Nobody Else Will
I can’t escape from the stereotypes on me. How people judge me, it
follows me around. I try to change, I’m stuck on changing. I want
to be better, I want people to see I’m trying to change, I even have
adults putting me down, not wanting me to do good.
It bothers me ‘cause it won’t go away, but it gives me the
strength to do what I gotta do. ‘Cause I gotta do it for me. I love
myself, if nobody else will.
-Maiha
From The Beat: It’s hard to leave behind people’s ideas of the “old you”
when you’re trying to make a change – but like you say, you have to
do it for you. That’s why we make your last sentence the title, because
it was so powerful, and so true. What makes it easier (or harder) to
love yourself?
Standouts Alameda County Volume 17.01/02
Sugar Daddies
My father used to always eat sugar daddies, but to me they looked
like long messed up chocolate suckers, and at the time I really
didn’t like chocolate.
But one time at Easter, Pleasanton had a big egg hunt, and most
of the candy I found were the sugar daddies! Once I bit into one, all I
tasted was a mixture of chocolate, cinnamon, and caramel. It was so
good, no wonder why sugar daddies were my father’s favorite candy.
-Darielle
From The Beat: Nice story Darielle, maybe one day if you have kids,
you’ll pass down the sweet family tradition!
Well Well Well
Well well well
Well well well he broke my heart
I swear I wish I never even start.
He gave me false love and gave me false lines.
I feel so dumb to have stopped and gave him time.
All I can say is he was a worst life lesson
I wish I could change my worst adolescent
Even though I shouldn’t I miss what he say
I really hate the way he affects me and my ways.
-Arijah Marie
From The Beat: We’re sorry you ended up with someone who lied to you
and made you feel bad –you deserve better. Were there warning signs
that he was wrong for you – warning signs you can learn to recognize
next time around?
Thank You Mom, Thank You Sister!
In sixty seconds I would like to thank my mom for everything she
did for me, and making tame the strong independent young lady I am
today. Thank you Mama, I love you.
And in sixty seconds I would also like to thank my big sister
Champagne for being with me through every thing and for being a
big sister. I love you, thank you.
-Darnesha
From The Beat: What is the best thing you ever learned from your
Mom? How about your sister?
Banana Pudding
Well, my favorite holiday dish is banana pudding, because it is very
easy to make, and it tastes very good. So on the holidays that’s the
main dish I be looking forward to, so you know it be all about the
banana pudding.
-Benjamin
From The Beat: We hope you get out soon so that you can enjoy some
banana pudding with your family and loved ones in the new year!
First Time Locked Up
This is my first time locked up, it’s sad and hard at the same time.
It’s sad, because I miss my family, and it’s hard, because it’s my first
time, so I have to make friends meet people in here. Some of them
are here for something serious, some are here just for a couple days,
weeks or some make a year or a few years.
Since I’m not used to the time, when I’m in my room, the time
goes too slow. I feel like I’ve been in my room for the whole day.
When I go out it feels as if we were only outside for a few minutes.
The food I don’t really like. Some days I don’t really eat in the all day.
-Jorge
From The Beat: You’ve probably had some time to get used to it here by
now, but at the same time, you’ve probably noticed that some people
get too used to it, and that has its dangers too. Do you think this time
locked up has been helpful to you, in the long run?