Standouts - The Beat Within

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Late Night Tale
A time that I made my mom very angry would be the day I came home
very late. It was around 4:30 in the morning. I was very drunk and
high and I also had a lot of hickies on my neck from my boyfriend.
She was so pissed at me that she couldn’t even believe that
I would come home like that. She couldn’t even look at me. I felt
like I disrespected her in many ways! She took my phone away and
didn’t let me go out for two weeks. I couldn’t use the computer. My
boyfriend couldn’t come over anymore.
It took my mom about a month to talk to me again! I felt really
mad at myself for letting this happen. Ever since that day I have
never disrespected my mom in that way.
-Lexi
From The Beat: We’re glad to hear that the relationship with your mom
has been repaired. No parent wants his or her child coming home late
and intoxicated, so hopefully this situation shows you how acting a
certain way can cause emotional stress for your mom.
My Bad Decision
The time I made my parents the most angry was when I came home
high off of a pill my friend gave me. I took the pill one Friday at
school and after school my mom picked me up. She couldn’t tell I
was high at first, but later on in the evening she finally realized. She
was so upset with me even though she knew I smoked she had never
seen me that messed up before. I couldn’t even talk right.
She yelled at me and told me I was grounded till the end of the
month. She didn’t hit me, but she was mad because she thought it
was a phase that was over with. I guess she kind of blamed herself
a little bit because she did it when she was my age and she doesn’t
want me to follow in her footsteps.
I guess when I saw how upset, hurt, frustrated and sad she was
it made me think, and I know I could of done a lot of things different
that day, like not taking that pill. I told her what happened and told
her I still smoked and was trying to stop.
Now all because that one bad decision, I’m here in juvenile hall.
Even though my mom has forgiven me I don’t know when I’ll forgive
myself.
-Jenaye
From The Beat: Sometimes it takes a bad high to make us realize the
negative effects of harder drugs. Your mom’s anger arose from a fear
that you could do long-term damage to your body and mind by taking
a little, random pill. It’s good to hear you’ve learned from this situation
– just avoid those “friends” that experiment with drugs.
Thinking
Time in juvenile hall goes by so slow, but to keep myself busy, I
usually just pick up a book. I hate thinking in here. There’s nothing
good to think about. I hate time in here, but at the end of the day, it
seems like it went by fast. So I get ready for the next day and the day
after until my time is up.
-Author
From the Beat: We are glad that you have chosen to try to keep busy.
You could also use this as a time to do a lot of personal reflecting. You
can really grow as a person if you think about where you want to be in
the future and how you can change things for the better.
Favorite Holiday Dish
I like turkey with gravy on top along with dressing. I also like baked
ham as a holiday dish. For dessert, I enjoy apple pie with some ice
cream. The holiday appetizers I like are crackers and cheese with
cured meat. I like to drink strong black tea with a cool temperature
while having these foods. Sometimes, I’ll drink soda, like Pepsi
instead of tea.
-Shaniqa
From the Beat: These are simple food items that can remind us of home.
We hope that you can have these foods once you get out. We are sure
you will fully enjoy them.
Standouts Fresno County Volume 17.01/02
Sticking up to my Dad
The bravest thing I have ever done was stick up to my dad. I
remember a time when I was on the run and I came home to my dad.
He didn’t talk to me at all. He made me some food and I ate it fast
because I was hungry and I was doped out. Then, my dad told me I
was sick. I got mad and told him to shut up.
That was my brave decision, but it didn’t last long. My dad got
mad and got up. He went to get a Pepsi and a hard liquor bottle. He
pushed my stomach with the bottle and poured the Pepsi all over
me. I have never been brave enough to talk back to my dad ever since
that day.
Stay drug free and don’t drink. It’s not worth it.
-April
From the Beat: We are sorry that you had to face that treatment. Think
about why left home and why you aren’t on good terms with your
father. Maybe you can think about the person you don’t want to be
and how you can become a better person.
Waiting to be Sentenced
Being locked in juvenile hall isn’t anything hard. The worst time for
me is waiting to see how long the judge is going to give me. After
that, it is a lot easier for me. It takes a lot of stress off my mind, and
I count down my days. My time might go by slowly, but it’s all right. I
know my release date. Being in here is not what I want, but its kind
of what I asked for.
-Lindsay
From the Beat: We are sorry to hear about all the stress. If this were
something you “asked for”, what would you ask for differently? Learn
from these times and ask for something that is better for you.
Locked Up
I’m locked up for the holidays
And there is no way out
I’m all alone in my cell
But there’s no time to pout
Christmas is coming and so is New Years
I wonder what my family is thinking about
I have no freedom
I’m getting no gifts
I want to be home and that’s my only wish
But I’m in juvenile hall and
It’s not what I want.
-Lindsay
From The Beat: Thanks for the straight talkin’ poetry – unfortunately,
we don’t always get what we want for Christmas, but sometimes it’s
because of our own actions. How will you change in 2012 to ensure
that you will be home for next year’s holiday?
Support from Mom
The time I got my mom mad. When I started to run away she was
mad. But all she wanted was for me to be home and safe. She was
still mad at me for about a week and then stopped because she
missed me so much.
A time when I had a bad high was not too long ago. I was
smoking and couldn’t stop so I just kept on smoking till there was
no more. A couple minutes later I started feeling sick and I started
to throw up. It lasted all night.
If I had the chance to thank someone in sixty seconds I would
thank my mom. She has really been there for me when I messed up,
and even though I know I messed up, she was always by my side. So
I would tell my mom thank you for everything in life, but I am a big
girl. I know what’s right and wrong. I can take care of myself now. I
got it.
-Celeste
From The Beat: Your mother appears to be very patient and
compassionate. How will you express your gratitude toward her once
you return home?