Standouts - The Beat Within

Standouts
Standouts Volume 17.01/02
Solano County
The Safe Place
The safest place to be to me is in heaven cause that’s the only place
where someone won’t try to hurt you. There is no guns or weapons.
Anything can happen here on planet Earth.
-J
From The Beat: You’re right, anything can happen here, which is scary.
But is there any way to make life less dangerous before you get to
heaven? It would be a shame to waste this life waiting to get there.
It Won’t Go Away
I have a memory of my cousin getting shot right in front of me and it
seems like it won’t leave my mind no matter how hard I try to forget
it. It just won’t disappear.
-J
From The Beat: That’s an awful memory to have stuck in your head.
Have you ever talked to someone about it? Or written about it? It
might help you sort out your feelings.
A New Year -2012
My new year’s resolution is to take care of my son and be with my
family. To do that I will like to get a job, but there are a lot of things
that I like to do. I would like to take care of my son, and I know I
can’t do that from in here.
This is a new year and I would truly like to start over. To do that, I
will have to put all the things I have done into the past.
Something I am going to do this year is finish high school, and
really take care of my lil man. I know with me being in here I can’t
help take care of my boy.
I have one more resolution and that is to study to be a
businessman here, I am going to go to school and finish high school
so I can study to do that.. I know if you want to be a businessman
you have to go to school and work hard and I’m prepared to do that.
I know if I can work hard, I can do this.
A friend once told me, if you know what you want then you can
go get it. This is my new-year resolution.
To end this, I would like to say that I would really like to take
care of my son.
I have one more resolution, and that is to never come back
here. I know that I said this before, but now that I have a son, and
I’m in here, and I can’t support my son. I know that I have done a lot
of things in my life, but now that I have a son, and it is a new year. I
have a son to support that’s why you will never see me in a jumpsuit
again!
-Nicholas
From The Beat: Good read. Thank you for telling The Beat your truths,
and we know many readers respect your words, to be the best dad for
your son. You can do this, and much more. We support you in getting
that education, that job, and being a real father to your baby boy.
Safe Place
What’s good Beat? A safe place for me is being where I am. “Locked
up” sounds light weight sick, but when I’m on the streets I don’t
listen to the PO or moms. And I’m always out there grindin’, you
feel me!
And when I’m on the streets doin’ dirt the only thing I think and
care about is my money and my whip. It’s just something that won’t
go away! And I’ve been down for a minute, but I still got the same
mentality.
I’m about to be a father in three months and I’m goin’ to miss
my son coming into this world. So now I’m trying to grind on getting
my GED so I can be there for him and my baby’s mama when I get out
and not have to hit licks and worry about the boys hittin’ me up.
-Young Guttah
From The Beat: It seems like you are beginning to realize that you can’t
support your son on doin’ dirt—you need a real job and you need to be
a part of his life so that he can grow up to be successful and healthy.
TheBeatWithin.org
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New Years Resolutions
My new year’s resolutions are to stay focused on school so I can
better my education. Because with education you can do whatever it
is in the world you want. And to pretty much make my grandparents
happy. My other new year’s resolution is to get back into football
because my dream is to be in the NFL
-Nathan
From The Beat: What do you plan to do with your education? What do
you want to study or what to you want to be when you grow up?
Bad Decisions
There was one of the worst decisions I have ever made. I was
drinking at the cemetery, which was not smart. But it was dark. Me
and my friends needed a place to hang out, too many cops out. So
we are at the graveyard and it’s like two in the morning. We have a
bottle of Captain Morgan and some cherry coke. Then we were being
too noisy. Then the cops show up.
I notice as I am wanting to leave the cops show up and all you
hear and see. ‘Cause all we are seeing are flashlights. Two coming
from behind us and two coming from in front of us. And this is what
we hear is “nobody move.” Vacaville police. And everybody dips one
group goes one way. I go through the front gates past the police cars
and I was gone.
The only person who got caught was my friend Kimmy, she
went to jail. But that was a very bad decision to make. If I could take
it back I would. Never do that again.
-Dope
From The Beat: It sounds like you got away without any trouble. What
was the bad decision, drinking in the cemetery? Why did you guys
choose the cemetery to drink? Isn’t it a little creepy in there?
The Drink
My new year’s resolution is to slow down on my drinking. It’s like
every time drink, I get into some kind of trouble. I don’t get locked
up every time, but I get in trouble. This last time I drank I blacked
out and only remember two things. I just woke up in the morning
and was heckka mad. I don’t have a clue how long I’ll be in here.
-Go Go Gadget Go
From The Beat: It might help you relax on the drinking if you explore
why you drink so much in the first place. When you drink, are you
being social, are you upset etc?
Saved
What it means to be saved is to find the Lord. Listen to the word
and let it help you through tough times. Being saved helped me
get through the times when I was in doubt. I can give a lot of the
responsibilities to me getting saved to the staff. It helps you when
you are in a time of need.
-Anonymous
From The Beat: What were you in doubt about? How did the staff
support you in finding a better path?
How Does It Feel?
Do you know how it feels to be in jail
for something you didn’t do?
Do you know how it feels to be away from family?
Do you know how it feels to be in here,
for your birthday and Christmas?
Do you know how it feels to be in here,
when family is dying and going to jail?
It feels like hell.
-The Don
From The Beat: We can only imagine how it truly feels for you. We
hope that this is the year, the truth will set you free, and you can
reunite with your family.