Standouts - The Beat Within

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Page 33
If You Don’t Think About It,
It Will Go Faster
When you are in Juvenile Hall, time can feel slow as hell, especially
when you know how long you have. It seems like when you don’t
have a clue when you’re getting out, your time goes by faster.
When time passes by slowly, there isn’t much to do, but do a
good program so you can be out of your room with the group. If you
don’t think about time, it will go by faster. I hate when time goes by
fast on the outs, but in here I want it to go by fast.
-Zach
From The Beat: Good insights, Zach! It left us wanting to hear more
of your thoughts on time and how it works. For example, why do you
hate when time goes by fast on the outs? What else is different about
how you relate to the world out there versus when you’re inside?
Too High!
One day when I got a very bad high was on a very hot summer day. It
was me and my cousins and we decide to smoke a bela (two blunts
put together). Also, by the way, my cousin had some boe and he put
it on the bela. So, we finished smoking and I was high, but I was
feeling real bad.
I had cottonmouth and we were in the park so we didn’t have
no kind of drink. I started sweating a lot. I felt like my heart was
going to stop. I think it was because the heat and because I didn’t
have anything to drink. I learned a lesson: to never smoke on a hot
summer day. If I do, I should have something to drink!
-Lil Rigo
From The Beat: At least you learned something from your experience.
Tired Of The Game
I really love money.
Sometimes I’m tired of the game.
Waking up in jail.
So much head aches and pain.
Wishing I could turn my life around.
It’s just the same.
But I’m too deep in the game,
Thinking about what I’m goin’ to change.
Like I said, I love this money.
Man, I ain’t ever goin’ to change.
Keep gettin’ kicked out of school.
Mom said I ain’t goin’ to graduate.
So I gotta get this dough to bake
Me a whole cake.
I’m messin’ with a lot of ninjas.
Yeah, that stuff is dumb.
Yeah, I play with guns.
But it really ain’t for fun.
It’s for suckers who try to test me.
And gotta fill this whole drum.
-Da
From The Beat: Is money really more important than your freedom or
your safety? Really? Can’t you still graduate? It might take some time.
But, again, it’s your freedom and your life on the line. Wouldn’t it be
worth it?
Standouts Alameda County Volume 17.01/02
Leaving Here
What’s good with the Beat readers/ This yo’ girl babygirl Cadi/
Destiny/Caridad
I’m leaving either at the end of this week or next Monday. I’m
so ready to get out. Man, this is my last piece so I’m going to try and
top all my other pieces, see how I’ve grown. Here goes nothing:
I won’t miss the drama
I won’t miss the stupidity
I won’t miss the anger
I won’t miss the hurt
I won’t miss the locked doors
But I will miss the lessons learned
I will miss the protection
I will miss my sense of peace
Scared I’ll end up being his prostitute
Wondering if the street will still have that pull
Trying with all my soul to stay on that narrow road,
‘Cause the wide one leads to destruction and death
I’m ready to say goodbye
Because that fifteen year old was loving life
With not a care in the world.
-Caridad
From The Beat: We hope the very best for you, Caridad. You have been
a wonderful writer, leader, and teacher during your time with The Beat,
and we hope the next time someone tries to use you that you remember
how wonderful and valuable you are as a person. Peace!
Ten Years Ten Kids!
In ten years I see myself playing football and having ten kids. And
with a big house and living with all my family. Bad things could stop
me. Like, still I don’t do drugs but drugs and not listening to yo’
mom and not paying attention in class.
-Otis
From The Beat: It’s good that you are able to identify some of the
things that could get in the way of having the life and family you
want. Now that you know some of the obstacles, do you have ideas on
how to overcome them?
My Second Christmas In Here
What’s up Beat, it’s your boy up in the Max, doing time, playing
cards with my people in the unit. Man Beat I don’t know how much
time I got left in here. I don’t have no more court dates, my PO said I
probably stay here until I’m eighteen years old, but I’m only sixteen
and a half years old. This is going to be my second Christmas up in
here. I miss my family a lot, and I’m positive that they miss me too.
-Downer
From The Beat: That’s a long time to be locked up. When will you know
for sure how long your sentence is going to be? What are some of the
ways you maintain calm and manage the stress that comes with being
unsure of your fate or future?
Shawty Shawty Shawty
Hey beautiful what you doin’
I just happened to notice you when you walk by
Damn girl you stay so damn fly
I want to know you look like the apple in my damn eye
I like yo’ swag, just throw it in the bag
I’m fast like I’m a dress like a mac type
Ump in the wipe
Cruise to the crib and baby girl let me show you to live
You be poppin’ you be droppin’ Shawty I been jockin’ you
Shawty!
-Shawn
From The Beat: Thanks for standing up and performing this song in
front of the whole unit, it takes real courage to do that. Can you think
of other times in your life where you’ve shown courage and been proud
of yourself?