Music is My Whole Life - World Federation of Music Therapy

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Horesh, T. (2006) “Music is My Whole Life” - The many meanings of music in addicts’ lives. Music Therapy Today (Online) Vol.VII (2) 291-317. available at http://musictherapyworld.net MUSIC AS DRUG- SUBSTITUTE – OR- TRANSITIONAL PHENOMENA (WINNICOT,1953) Ella:” In the last years of my drug abuse, when drugs where the only thing that I got out of bed for, and couldn’t fall asleep without – music wasn’t important anymore. I didn’t care anymore, there was nothing nostalgic about the music, there was nothing in it... the first few years, I could get excited or emotional about some song, but later on…I lost interest in music. I needed my quiet space, I used at home, didn’t go out and wasn’t interested in anything.” Zohar: ”When you start using a lot you’re less interested in music. The drugs are whats important….it used to be like – there’s a rave party, so you take some pills. Later on it became : there’s pills, it would be nice if there’s some music but it’s not really important.” Functions of music in addiction We will now look at some of the psychological functions music has. Yelena:” When I was in treatment at the therapeutic community, I hadn’t brought a Discman with me. So I wrote my mom a letter and she sent me one. That’s when the problems started – it was like she had sent me drugs…sometimes when I just couldn’t take any more, I would ask permission to go to the bathroom but went off to my room…I would feel like I was in withdrawal and there was what I needed in my room…something was missing, I needed something…so I would go, listen to a song, and go back to work as if nothing happened, feeling better. Because I’m addicted – to music too. Whats interesting is that I didn’t have my own music, I had to listen to c.d.’s that belonged to the other girls…love songs, happy songs…not the stuff I listen to. But – when there’s no heroin you take pills…” Yelena recognized the fact that she used the music as a drug substitute , during abstinence and treatment. Lacking the ego capabilities to deal with external pressure, she could enter the transitional space of music-lis- tening, almost “cuddling up” with the sounds.She could draw strength by absorbing the external, benificing object into herself. Zohar:” When I was in the army jail 1 , they didn’t let us hear music. I remember, I was so desperate…I would call up a friend Functions of music in addiction 308
Horesh, T. (2006) “Music is My Whole Life” - The many meanings of music in addicts’ lives. Music Therapy Today (Online) Vol.VII (2) 291-317. available at http://musictherapyworld.net on the phone and tell him to put a song on…I would listen to the song over the phone…” In Zohar’s case, the music wasn’t a drug substitute – because he had access to drugs in jail. But, as he said of himself: ”it doesn’t always matter what music – but I need it . Music is one of the obsessions I haven’t overcome”. It seems that the music fulfilled needs over and beyond what the drugs could do – perhaps distraction, filling an emotional void, calm- ing…LikeYelena, he manipulated his way to get what he needed – char- acteristic behavior of addicts Nahum:”You're asking how music and drugs are connected? Why you need the music? So as not to be alone. I want to be alone, but my soul is crying out, I can’t understand whats going on with me, I don’t want to be like this. At first the drugs were for fun, but then they became a need, a very very deep physical and spiritual need. An almost total lack of ability to function in all parts of my life…but I didn’t want to see it. So...the music comes, doesn’t matter what you listen to….it was a very strong dependence” Lehtonan (2002) suggests that music seems to create a symbolic distance between the individual and his traumatic experiences… probably because of music's "ability" to act as a transitional phenomenon, where by listen- ing to music one can safely and without anguish work through his feelings. He quotes Racker (1951) who described the qualities of music as a transitional phenomenon. Music can protect an individual against unpleasant feelings and yet, at the same time, give psychic strength to face and overcome them. Music can also be used in frightening and unpleasant situations, for instance, against silence representing loneli- ness. Music can function like a "mirror" where the listener sees himself and his inner, incoherent feelings and experiences – in an integrated state. As Nahum concludes:” I would sit and really listen to the music, and try to see where I was and what I was doing with my life” 1. for drug abuse during service. Functions of music in addiction 309
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Music is My Whole Life - World Federation of Music Therapy

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