Music is My Whole Life - World Federation of Music Therapy

Horesh, T. (2006) “Music is My Whole Life” - The many meanings of music in addicts’ lives. Music Therapy Today
(Online) Vol.VII (2) 291-317. available at http://musictherapyworld.net
itive changes they themselves, and others, detect in them. They don’t
always recognize themselves, and find it difficult to accept themselves as
calm, happy and functioning people.
Boris:” I grew up with those songs, the blatniye, and now, I’m
finishing my time at treatment, its like I understood all the things
the songs were trying to tell me, I finished with them, I can say –
goodbye, thanks, that’s it, I’m on my way. It’s really interesting,
maybe that’s why I’m listening to them less and less…maybe
that’s part of my change…I didn’t even decide, it just happened.
But I’m afraid to stop listening to those songs. I can’t believe I’ll
be without them. Every once in a while I’ll have to hear one or
two songs. “
Boris seemed to be so enmeshed in his personal and cultural identity,
symbolized by the blatniye songs, that separating from them seemed
almost impossible.
Yelena:” These days, I’ve been listening to, and enjoying – music
that I couldn’t listen to in the past. Really happy music, like disco.
I was surprised at myself….because, who would of thought that I
would listen to that shit. I never liked it before. It disgusted me. I
mean – just stupid people listened to it…this is a recent change,
just the past few months…I hardly ever listen to rock anymore.
When I stopped listening to rock, it sort of frightened me…..but
music has stopped threatening me. I’ve changed my outlook on
life, I’ve started to smile, I think this new music has a lot to do
with it…I allowed myself to try something new. The truth is that
the first time I really felt good – I couldn’t accept it. And I
couldn’t accept the fact that I was listening to this music, even
though I liked it. But I can smile now, I feel alive.”
Zohar:” In therapy I learned to talk about my feelings so I don’t
really need the songs anymore…its changed, a lot, the music I
used to listen to, I was really stuck on one kind of music…but
today I can choose, I have the power not to listen to that. It used
to be, like, the songs didn’t ask me if I wanted to hear them, I
would turn on the stereo and all the sad songs were there…I know
that because I changed so much, things changed in my music. I
don’t want to suffer anymore, don’t want to get depressed, those
songs remind me of things…but if you ask me what music I really
like –its that. Those sad songs. But today I don’t do what I
want…it’s more – what I have to do.”
Functions of music in addiction 314