Pages 1-80 - Springfield-Greene County Library

March, 1928 Page 31
We All Know It!
"One half the world is ignorant of
how the other half lives."
"Not in this town!"
The Younger Generation
Photographer, (making portrait. of
charming little girl): "Now look this
way and you'll see a pretty little
dickey-bird come out."
Little Girl: "Oh don't be ridiculous.
Expose your plate and let's ~ e this t
over."--(Gondon Passing Show).
"I've driven this car six years and
never had a wreck."
"You mean you've driven that wreck
six years and never had a car!"
Equal Terms
"So you saw me kiss your sister
last nlght, did you? Well buddy, say
nothlng about it. Here's half a dol-
lar."
The young brother pocketed the
cofn and then handing the young maE
a quarter, he added, "and here's your
change, sir. One price to all is my
motto."
Shocking!
"Where is your doll, dear?" the fam-
ily visitor asked the modern young
miss.
"Oh", said the child, "the boy next
dnnr has the custody of the doll and
,ree lollipops a week ali-
n Optimist
is a tourist who starts
brakea, no spare, and
3 motor, and who wires
d for hotel reservations.
Speed
in dressing for speed. a
on In forty-five seconds.
e have been putting on
seconds?-Los Angelen
rhlch Way?
nb chops with potatoes,
:hops lean."
, sir", asked the waiter.
A Gentle Reminder
A pedestrian, bumped by a taxicab,
found himself lying in the street directly
in the path of a steam roller.
"That remlnds me", he cried. "I
was to bring horn 10 some pancake
A man writing
says that, barri
costume of the g
through the m
and danged if sc-, ,. .-- ,,...- --.. .
almost look as if they were on their
flour."
I
way BACK from the post office.
There Was C hce a Girl
Warning
Who S< aid- "Hey Mike". said a workman to th
"I shall never m arry a man who
other atop, "don't come down on tha
smokes tobacco in any form."
ladder on the north corner, I took i
Her husband is v ~edded to a pipe.
away."-(UP Mag.)
"All I care aboul : it is intellect."
. - ..
She married a prize-flghter.
"Give me a successful business
man."
She married a poet.
"It a man is just and honest. it is
n e lnereasrng number or daylight
robberies indicates tnat bandits, as
well as doctors, like to spend a qulet
evening at home or the movies now
and then.
all I ask"
She married a swindler.
"After all, money isn't the only
thlng."
She married a millionaire.
"These bookish men are such
Talk about optimists! We have just
read that membership cards are still
held and dues paid by more than 36,-
000 ex-bartenders!
awful bores."
She married a popular novelist.
"I don't believe in divorce."
She married a film star.
"I can't stand these big, brainy
men who know everything."
She married me.
-London Opinion.
Truthful
"Dwtor, wbg does a small cavity
feel so large to the tongue?''
"Just the natural tendency of your
tongue to exaggerate, I suppose."
-(L. & N. mg.1
PIausi ble
"We're going to get a baby brother
at our house today". remarked the
mall sister to her tezcher.
"Why, how do you know?"
"Because yesterday mother was sick
and we got a baby girl, and today
Daddy's sick."
Aw!
"Say Jimmy, what's the new baby
at your house, a boy or a girl?"
"Aw, it's a girl-I saw 'em putting
powder on it."
I'll tell you what real poverty is: It
is never to have a big thought or n
generous impulse. -(Tom Dreier).
Some people are like price lists-
you have to know what the discount
is on what they say.
-(Book of Smiles).
TOO - - - --
"Mother. makc
This gentle ca
second time fr
Jimmy and Jan
have been aslee
"Jimmy, pay i
Be a little man
swered mother.
"I am a man,
singlng 'Star 91
every tlme I hav
-1ndlan
A Sf
--wife: "I can'
bathing suit."
Husband: "PI
One Kit
Mrs. Highest: --~na - wnar -- ~ am -- vou -
discover abqut ym .r family tree?"
Genealogist: "I I 10und that it was of
the nut-bearing vai riety."