Before you walk into the meeting… No o N e w a N t s to be t h e o N e to tell employees that they have to take a salary cut or won’t be getting expected benefits or bonuses. Kerry Patterson, co-founder of VitalSmarts, a corporate training and organizational firm in Provo, Utah, and co-author of Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, tells managers to keep these four tips in mind during difficult conversations: ➤ Control yourself first Get over the fact that employees may want to shoot the messenger—and that may be you. You don’t have to accept the blame, but you do need to realize that your employee is feeling horrible and is looking to gain any kind of control over the situation. If you don’t deal with your own natural tendency to become annoyed or upset, you’re liable to say the wrong thing and make the situation worse. ➤ Share the pain If employees become angry, acknowledge their pain. Express your honest concern: “I’m sorry. This must be a big blow for you.” Don’t tell them that everything will be fine in the long run. When someone is upset, they want empathy, not a lecture. ➤ Actively listen To let employees know that you are really listening to their concerns, don’t jump in with quick answers or corrections to their false statements. Instead, paraphrase what they just said. Let them know that you’re being careful to understand them and their specific concerns. ➤ Buy time When people hear bad news, adrenaline drips into their blood and they start responding with strong emotions and weak thinking. Adrenaline takes time to dissipate, so don’t rush to give a careful explanation of the facts or discuss the future until the other person is emotionally ready to do so. Show concern and actively listen until the other person has calmed down. environment and most are interested in knowing how their companies are weathering the storm. “Companies are often reticent to give people the whole picture because they’re afraid people will just panic,” Couture says. Often, the opposite is true. Information gives people a feeling of control and allows them to “stay focused on trying to help make the company successful.” 36 | <strong>BedTimes</strong> | May 2009 Managers also may be worried about their best employees leaving during difficult times—another reason, they think, to hold information close to their vests. But Couture notes that most employees will stick it out, particularly in this economy, when other jobs are not readily available. “Too many so-called leaders, desperate to buy time or to delude themselves about what is really going on in the business, sugar-coat the truth,” Condren says. “Or they out and out lie—to themselves, to their employees and to their backers.” But, she says, “Leaders have a moral imperative to be honest with their employees, even if doing so impels employees to jump ship for a more secure position.” What to say & how to say it When talking about compensation, it’s best if the first message comes from the top, the experts say. Managers can then explain details to smaller groups of workers and individuals. Couture offers one good scenario: “The CEO puts out a strategic communication to everybody that says, ‘Here’s what the economy is doing to our company as a whole—these are the things that we’ve talked about and now your individual general managers will tell you the impact it’s going to have on you.’ ” When handled this way, “employees are focused less on waiting for the other shoe to drop, because they’ve got plans. They know what to expect,” Couture says. Patterson agrees: The message needs to come first from the top of the company and then from direct supervisors. But it’s also important how that message is crafted. Initially, a company needs to develop and convey a rationale for whatever decisions are being made. It is not enough, he says, to simply say what is happening. You also must explain why it’s happening. “Rule No. 1 is to always have a ratio- www.sleepproducts.org/bedtimes
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