Anthony Robbins AWAKEN THE GIANT... - Lemma Coaching

we still sit around in fear. This is the point when you must use the antidote to fear: you must make a
decision to have faith, knowing you've done all you can to prepare for whatever you're fearing, and
that most fears in life rarely come to fruition. If they do, you may experience . . .
3. HURT. If there's any one emotion that seems to dominate human relationships, both personal and
professional, it's the emotion of hurt. Feelings of hurt are usually generated by a sense of loss.
When people are hurt, they often lash out at others. We need to hear the real message hurt gives us.
The Message:
The message the hurt signal gives us is that we have an expectation that has not been met.
Many times this feeling arises when we've expected somebody to keep their word and they didn't
(even if you didn't tell them your expectation that, for example, they not share with someone else
what you talked with them about). In this case, you feel a loss of intimacy with this person, maybe a
loss of trust. That sense of loss is what creates the feeling of hurt.
The Solution:
1) Realize that in reality you may not have lost anything. Maybe what you need to lose is the
false perception that this person is trying to wound or hurt you. Maybe they really don't realize the
impact of their actions on your life.
2) Secondly, take a moment and reevaluate the situation. Ask yourself, "Is there really loss here?
Or am I judging this situation too soon, or too harshly?"
3) A third solution that can help you get out of a sense of hurt is to elegantly and
appropriately communicate your feeling of loss to the person involved. Tell them, "The other
day when X-Y-Z happened, I misinterpreted that to mean that you didn't care, and I have a sense of
loss. Can you clarify for me what really happened?" Simply by changing your communication style and
clarifying what's really going on, you will often find that hurt disappears in a matter of moments.
However, if hurt is not dealt with, it often becomes amplified and turns into . . .
4. ANGER. Angry emotions include everything from being mildly irritated to being angry, resentful,
furious, or even enraged.
The Message:
The message of anger is that an important rule or standard that you hold for your life has been
violated by someone else, or maybe even by you. (We'll talk more about this in Chapter 16 on rules.)
When you get the message of anger, you need to understand that you can literally change this
emotion in a moment.
The Solution:
1) Realize that you may have misinterpreted the situation completely, that your anger about this
person breaking your rules may be based on the fact that they don't know what's most important to
you (even though you believe they should).
2) Realize that even if a person did violate one of your standards, your rules are not necessarily the
"right" rules, even though you feel as strongly as you do about them.