Planning for Parenting Time: Ohio's Guide for Parents Living Apart

Child Development and Suggested Parenting Schedules
TEENAGERS (13 TO 18 YEARS)
The teenager is developing greater independence and beginning to
separate from the family, including both parents. Teens start to feel like
young adults who think they no longer need their parents, but also have
times when they still want their parents to take care of them. They begin
to plan for driving and dating, and they are thinking about college or
work.
Parents should let their teen
express his or her views, while
making it clear it is up to the
parents to make the final
parenting time decisions.
They are feeling the pressures of school, family
and friends, and they may not like a strict
parenting time schedule. They may show their
dissatisfaction by becoming irritable or moody or
developing an attitude they never had before.
Many lack the skills to express the many strong,
but conflicting emotions that go along with
growing up. When parents are establishing a
parenting time schedule or considering making
changes in an existing schedule, they should give
thought to the needs and wishes of their teenager.
Parents should let them express their views, while making it clear it is up
to the parents to make the final decisions.
During a separation or divorce, parents often feel the need to pull their
teen closer to them to reassure themselves they are not losing their child
to the other parent. Sometimes parents are tempted to get their child on
their side. A teen may avoid both parents or reject one parent and cling to
the other, especially if the parents are putting them in the middle of their
conflict. Some teens want little or nothing to do with either parent and
turn to friends or others to talk to who are not part of the conflict. Teens
often are confused and angry at the way their parents act and may feel
their parents have not been concerned about how the divorce or
separation affects them. The strong conflicting emotions they experience
may cause them to act in new and unfamiliar ways as they struggle to
deal with these changes. Therefore, parents should not assume that their
child’s mood swings or acting out are caused by the other parent.
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