• <strong>Voice</strong> <strong>Male</strong> A Call To Men continued from page 9 2. Men treating women as property 3. Men seeing women as objects All three are major contribu<strong>to</strong>rs <strong>to</strong> violence against women. As well-meaning men, we must begin <strong>to</strong> examine the ways in which male socialization fosters violence against women. We must examine the ways in which we “keep” women in marginalized roles that enforce and maintain our male dominance. As well-meaning men, we must explore and challenge the ways in which we continue <strong>to</strong> perpetuate the myth that women are the “property” of their husbands and intimate partners. One of the principal reasons that domestic violence continues <strong>to</strong> be seen in many of our communities as a “private” issue is our belief as men that “she belongs <strong>to</strong> him.” While we know it’s not true, nevertheless, that myth is deeply embedded in our socialization. As well-meaning men, we must unearth the roots of objectifying women. In a male-dominated society, an environment is created which overwhelmingly supports men’s objectification of women—from the music and entertainment industry, <strong>to</strong> corporate America, <strong>to</strong> communities of faith and the street corner. We must acknowledge, own, and struggle with the change required <strong>to</strong> end this reality. As well-meaning men, we must begin <strong>to</strong> examine the ways we separate ourselves from men who commit crimes of sexual violence and men who batter, while simultaneously giving them permission <strong>to</strong> do so. We make monsters out of them as a means of supporting our position that we are different from them. We pathologize their violence, blaming chemical dependency, mental illness, anger management, <strong>to</strong> name a few. We put a great deal of energy and resources in<strong>to</strong> “fixing bad guys.” But the “bad guys” operate in the same realm of sexism and violence as we “good guys.” The only difference between them and us is that, at a certain point, we s<strong>to</strong>p, while they cross the line in<strong>to</strong> what “well-meaning men” define as illegal. The more attention we focus on them, the more we are able <strong>to</strong> maintain and strengthen our status as “good guys.” VM 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10 Things Men Can Do <strong>to</strong> End Violence Against Women Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance, and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against women. Examine and challenge our individual sexism and the role that we play in supporting men who are abusive. Recognize and s<strong>to</strong>p colluding with other men by getting out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance <strong>to</strong> end violence against women. Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose not <strong>to</strong> speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it. Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men about our responsibility in ending men’s violence against women. “Break out of the man box”—Challenge traditional images of manhood that s<strong>to</strong>p us from actively taking a stand <strong>to</strong> end violence against women. Accept and own our responsibility that violence against women will not end until men become part of the solution <strong>to</strong> end it. We must take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift that no longer <strong>to</strong>lerates violence against women. S<strong>to</strong>p blaming men’s violence on mental illness, lack of anger management skills, chemical dependency, stress, etc., which only excuses men’s violence. Violence against women is rooted in the his<strong>to</strong>ric oppression of women—sexism. S<strong>to</strong>p supporting the notion that men’s violence against women can end by providing treatment for individual men. Men’s violence against women is the outgrowth of men’s socialization. 10. Accept leadership from women. Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those who understand it most, women. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10 Cosas Que Los Hombres Pueden Hacer Admitir y entender cómo el sexismo, la dominancia masculina y el privilegio masculino asientan la fundación de <strong>to</strong>das las formas de violencia contra las mujeres. Examinar y poner a prueba nuestro sexismo individual y el rol que jugamos en apoyar a los hombres que son abusivos. Reconocer y parar de conspirar con otros hombres saliéndonos de nuestros roles socialmente definidos, y <strong>to</strong>mar una postura para eliminar la violencia contra las mujeres. Recordar que nuestro silencio ratifica. Cuando elegimos no dar nuestra opinión de la violencia masculina, la estamos apoyando. Educar y re-educar a nuestros hijos y a otros hombres jóvenes acerca de nuestra responsabilidad para terminar la violencia masculina contra las mujeres. “Liberarse de la opresión del hombre”—Lucha tradicionalmente imagenes de el estado de ser hombre de que nos para activamente emprender una posición para terminar violencia contra las mujeres. Aceptar y reconocer nuestra responsabilidad de que la violencia contra las mujeres no finalizará hasta que los hombres sean parte de la solución para eliminarla. Tenemos que <strong>to</strong>mar un rol activo para crear un cambio social y cultural que ya no <strong>to</strong>lere la violencia contra las mujeres. Parar de responsabilizar la violencia de los hombres a las enfermedades mentales, a la falta de destrezas para manejar la ira, a la dependencia química, al estrés, etc…, lo cual solamente excusa la violencia masculina. La violencia contra las mujeres está enraizada en la opresión histórica de las mujeres—el sexismo. Parar de apoyar la noción de que la violencia masculina contra las mujeres puede terminar al proveer tratamien<strong>to</strong> individual para los hombres. La violencia de los hombres contra las mujeres es el resultado de la socialización masculina. 10. Aceptar liderazgo de las mujeres. La violencia en contra de las mujeres será eliminada solamente cuando <strong>to</strong>memos dirección de aquellas que lo entienden mejor, las mujeres. 10
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