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• Voice Male Thank You! Publisher Says “Thank You!” The Men’s Resource Center for Change, publisher of Voice Male, receives community support from near and far. Voice Male allows us a public forum in which to thank the hundreds of people who have shared our inspiration and commitment, and contributed their time, services, and money toward a vision of personal and social transformation. We are filledwithdeepgratitudeatthegenerosityofthe individuals and businesses listed below. Community Relations/Fundraising Ben & Jerry’s, Amherst Donated Space Network Chiropractic, Greenfield Northampton Council on Aging Fathers & Family Network Program Assistance Susan J. Loehn, Alice Newton, Allison Scobie-Lloyd, Haji Shearer In-Kind Donations Henion Bakery, Amherst Loose Goose Café, Amherst Interns Rob Brezinsky, Malcolm Chu, Jack Ferris MRC/Voice Male Volunteers Susan Craig, Jim Devlin, Michael Dover, Henry Lappen, Joe Leslie, Bob Mazer, Aviva Okun, Tom Schuyt, Gary Stone 2006 Northampton Pride Rally Volunteers Frank S., James R., Joe R., Mitch Fathers & Families Field Day Volunteers: David Abrami, Allan Arnaboldi, David Boutilier, Susan Craig, Jan Eidelson, Dot LaFratta, Mark Lantz, Joe Leslie, Aviva Okun, Russ Pirkot, Sheldon Snodgrass, Mitch Sorensen Sponsors: Amherst Pediatrics, Bart’s Homemade Ice Cream, Boston Red Sox Foundation, Gold’s Gym – Amherst, Dr. Stephen Jefferson Other: Amherst Department of Public Works, Groff Park Special Events Planning Committee Allan Arnaboldi, Gretchen Craig, Jan Eidelson, Darren Engstrom, Mitch Sorensen As always, we extend our gratitude to the MRC BoardofDirectorsfortheongoingguidanceand support they give to this organization and all who are a part of it. We are also grateful for all of our staff, who regularly go above and beyond the call of duty, and to our team of volunteer support group facilitators, who every week provide a safe space for men to come and talk about their lives. Book Review continued from page 16 toms. Levy discusses how adolescent women have been led to believe that pleasing men and boys sexually is the only way to gain status and power. They report that they don’t experience pleasure from their sexual acts but they continue to engage in them because they believe that is their only mode of upward social progression. Ariel Levy shows us the effects of living in a culture that glorifies the objectification of women and the commercialization and mainstreaming of sex. Under this system, women do not gain freedom or liberation; rather, they lose their credibility as members of society. Levy does not offer up suggestions of how to rectify this cultural phenomenon, but she does present various reasons as to why this culture has emerged. By discovering the root of the problem, perhaps solutions can be identified and society can begin the process of reeducation about what sexuality means and the different ways it can be expressed. And perhaps, through this reeducation, a culture can emerge in which women are free to express themselves sexually in whatever way makes sense to them, and in which women gain power and social acceptance through nonsexual means. VM Aviva Okun is a psychology major graduating from Goucher College in Baltimore later this year. She last wrote for Voice Male as a high school junior. Conscious Communication October 5 - November 9 Amherst, MA This Conscious Communication class will help you learn to stay connected and competent in the heat of differences. Prior to the first class, individuals can come in for a free introductory workshop on Thursday, September 28, from 6 to 8 pm. Cost: $180 to $230 (sliding scale - includes all materials) Location: Co-Housing Common House Info: Karen Fogliatti: 978-544-3844, karenmf@mindspring.com Outlines continued from page 19 as I was with the concept of gay marriage, they would be there supporting me. Now came the time to ask the big question. Would he say yes? On a crisp autumn night in October, we made plans for a “date” in Northampton. After purchasing a home together we had spent almost all of our spare time on renovation and updating projects, so a date was something that was novel and one we both looked forward to. We started out with a nice dinner and then decided to walk around Northampton and stop for drinks along the way. Our first (and last!) stop was the lounge in the old train station. I went to the bar and ordered a couple of beers while he went to find us some seating. Luckily a couple of chairs in an intimate corner opened up…and so did I. I returned with the beers, we toasted each other, and I popped the question. “I think we should marry,” I said. “Would you marry me?” The answer was a resounding yes, and the rest is history. The next step was to share the news with our families. The first to hear were my partner’s daughter and her husband. They gave us each a big hug and were ecstatic for us. When we shared the news with my children they were equally excited. Out of respect for my ex-wife I shared our news with her and she was emphatic: “I love you both and I’m coming to the wedding!” We were blessed with unanimous positive responses. Our wedding day this past summer was filled with the love with which we have been showered by family and friends in and out of the gay community. Our marriage is not only a sign of our love for one another; it is also a commitment to the cause: the cause of equal rights for all GLBT people and the right to marry whom one wants to marry. This has had another positive consequence for me: my political involvement in the fight for marriage equality and the effort to preserve this right in Massachusetts. We have been afforded an important right by the courts in this great state, and we all need to work to make sure that right is preserved. As a married gay man, I can tell you, the stakes are high. VM MitchSorensenistheexecutivevicepresidentof S &SManagementServicesInc.,inBloomfield, Conn. He has two grown children. Mitch and husband Allan reside in Easthampton, Mass. 26
Men’s Resource Center for Change Programs & Services Administrative Staff Executive Director – Rob Okun Development Coordinator – Gretchen Craig Office Manager – Allan Arnaboldi Financial Manager – Paula Chadis Moving Forward Director – Sara Elinoff-Acker Intake Coordinator/Court Liaison – Steve Trudel Partner Services Coordinator – Jan Eidelson Anger Management Coordinator – Joy Kaubin Hampden County Coordinator – Scott Girard Group Leaders – Sara Elinoff-Acker, Karen Fogliatti, Scott Girard, Steve Jefferson, Joy Kaubin, Dot LaFratta, Susan Omilian, Bill Patten, Tom Sullivan, Steve Trudel Support Services Coordinator –Tom Schuyt Support Group Facilitators – Allan Arnaboldi, Michael Burke, Jim Devlin, Michael Dover, Carl Erikson, Tim Gordon, Jerry Levinsky, Gábor Lukács, Bob Mazer, Tom Schuyt, Frank Shea, Sheldon Snodgrass, Roger Stawasz, Bob Sternberg, Gary Stone, Claude Tellier Youth Programs Supervisor – Allan Arnaboldi Board of Directors Chair – Peter Jessop Clerk/Treasurer – Charles Bodhi Members – Gustavo Acosta, Jenny Daniell, Tom Gardner, Yoko Kato, Gail Kielson, Jonathan Klate, Tom Schuyt Executive Director Emeritus – Steven Botkin Main Office: 236 North Pleasant St. • Amherst, MA 01002 • 413.253.9887 • Fax: 413.253.4801 Springfield Office: 29 Howard St. • Springfield, MA 01105 • 413.734.3438 E-mail: mrc@mrcforchange.org Website: www.mrcforchange.org The mission of the Men’s Resource Center for Change is to support men, challenge men’s violence, and develop men’s leadership in ending oppression in our lives, our families, and our communities. Support Group Programs ■ Open Men’s Group Sundays 7-9 p.m. at the MRC Amherst office Tuesdays 6:45-8:45 p.m. at the Council on Aging, 240 Main St., Northampton. Wednesdays 7-9 p.m. in Greenfield at Network Chiropractic, 21 Mohawk Trail (lower Main St.). A facilitated drop-in group for men to talk about their lives and to support each other. ■ Men Who Have Experienced Childhood Abuse /Neglect Specifically for men who have experienced any kind of childhood abuse or neglect. Fridays 7 - 8:30 p.m. at the MRC. ■ Gay, Bisexual & Questioning Mondays 7 - 9 p.m. at the MRC. A facilitated drop-in group for gay, bisexual and questioning men to talk about their lives and support each other (not a discussion group). Fathering Programs ■ A variety of resources are available — Fathers and Family Network programs, lawyer referrals, parenting resources, workshops, presentations and conferences. Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.10 Youth Programs ■ Young Men of Color Leadership Project Amherst ■ Short Term Groups, Workshops, Presentations and Consultations for Young Men and Youth- Serving Organizations Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.33 Moving forward Anger Management, domestic violence intervention, youth violence prevention ■ Anger Management Various times for 15-week groups for men, women and young men at the MRC. For more information, call (413) 253-9887 ext. 23 ■ Domestic Violence Intervention A state-certified batterer intervention prog ram serves both voluntary and courtmandated men who have been physically violent or verbally/emotionally abusive. Fee subsidies available. ■ Basic Groups Groups for self-referred and court-mandated men (40 weeks) are held in Amherst, Athol, Belchertown, Springfield, and Greenfield. ■ Follow-up Groups for men who have completed the basic program and want to continue working on these issues are available in Northampton, Greenfield and Amherst. ■ Partner Services Free phone support, resources, referrals and weekly support groups are available for partners of men in the MOVE program. ■ Prison Groups A weekly MOVE group is held at the Hampshire County Jail and House of Corrections. ■ Community Education and Training Workshops and training on domestic violence and clinical issues in batterer intervention are available. ■ Speakers’ Bureau Formerly abusive men who want to share their experiences with others to help prevent family violence are available to speak at schools and human service programs. ■ Youth Violence Prevention Services for teenage males who have been abusive with their families, peers, or dating partners. Contact: (413) 253-9588 ext.18 Workshops & training ■ Workshops available to colleges, schools, human service organizations, and businesses on topics such as “Sexual Harassment Prevention and Response,” “Strategies and Skills for Educating Men,” “Building Men’s Community,” and “Challenging Homophobia,” among other topics. Specific trainings and consultations also available. Publications ■ Voice Male Published quarterly, the MRC magazine includes articles, essays, reviews and resources, and services related to men and masculinity. ■ Children, Lesbians and Men: Men’s Experiences as Known and Anonymous Sperm Donors A 60-page manual which answers the questions men have, with first-person accounts by men and women “who have been there.” Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.16 Resource & Referral Services ■ Information about events, counselors, groups, local, regional and national activities, and support programs for men. Contact: (413) 253-9887 ext.10 Speakers and Presentations ■ Invite new visions of manhood into your university, faith community, community organizations. Many topics including: “Manhood in a Time of War”, “Fathering and Fatherhood.” Contact: (413) 253-9887 Ext. 20 F a l l 2 0 0 6 • 27
Page 1 and 2: New Visions of Manhood Voice Male T
Page 3 and 4: Table of Contents Features A Call t
Page 5 and 6: Men @ Work Voice Male, MRC Assemble
Page 7 and 8: One expert thinks the new study ref
Page 9 and 10: stops them from challenging sexist
Page 11 and 12: F a l l 2 0 0 6 • 11
Page 13 and 14: “she provoked me” because she 1
Page 15 and 16: Reflections on Men’s Loss, Grief,
Page 17 and 18: The Locker Room and the Closet By G
Page 19 and 20: Love Makes a Marriage By Mitch Sore
Page 21 and 22: F a l l 2 0 0 6 • 21
Page 23 and 24: Finding the Way Through continued f
Page 25: Looking to Connect? Try the MRC’s

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