Forest Path - Amaravati Buddhist Monastery

69
Mindfulness with Mosquitoes
Tan Sa¤¤amo
I find it a challenge to be able to translate many of the Pàli words
found in the Suttas into day-to-day experience. Sometimes even
the most common words such as sati or saddhà can remain at
best loosely defined concepts in our minds; how we personally
experience these concepts in our minds is not clearly understood.
Is it not worthwhile taking the time to investigate our use of
these terms for ourselves? I have thought so, and at times have
been surprised at what a little discursive thought can drudge up.
When these terms are not clear I have noticed that doubt tends to
infiltrate through this vagueness. By defining the terms more
clearly and connecting them to our experience, not only do we
patch up obscurities but we can identify the presence of the qualities
these terms refer to and their nature to rise and fall. The
following is an extract from my journal relating to an incident
that has since redefined and clarified experientially what I take to
be mindfulness in action.
Today during our evening meeting at the outside meditation hall,
clouds of bloodthirsty mosquitoes descended upon our vulnerable
and defenceless Saïgha. Lately I have been struggling to understand
how to work skilfully with unpleasant situations that inevitably
crop up in life. This was a fortuitous occasion to explore the possibilities!
A Dhamma talk was offered this evening. When it ended, I was
feeling unusually content, with no real motivation to pursue a particular
meditation object. Instead I was satisfied with watching the
momentum of my thoughts naturally still and settle. Inspired by
such a peaceful mind-state, I generously offered my exposed right
arm and shoulder to the mosquitoes. The response was overwhelming,
so much so that my arm started twitching involuntarily from the
strain of hosting such a banquet. Frustration began to grow and the
din in my mind that was telling me that nothing was going on and
that everything was OK was not very convincing. Basically, I was
being eaten alive. I didn’t want to admit, “This is unpleasant”. Instead,
thoughts like, “If you just get concentrated, you won’t feel it”
or “Develop compassion” arose in my mind.