A-Playful-Path_DeKoven-web

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Enjoying my self I enjoy my self enjoying the wind, the sun, the malted milk shake. I enjoy how I am, how I feel, how I act. I enjoy my self rapt, enraptured, wrapped in all of a moment’s glories. I enjoy how I am when I witness animals and children enjoying themselves, each other, the light, water. I enjoy how completely I can enjoy them enjoying a moment of the world so completely, so completely without me. I enjoy how I am able to enjoy you. Just you. Even when you are enjoying something that has nothing to do with me. I enjoy knowing that I can enjoy your grace, beauty, laughter, clumsiness, playfulness, your person, your self, you. I enjoy how we can enjoy each other’s enjoyment, each so completely other, and yet completed by each other – me enjoying you enjoying me enjoying you. I enjoy my self joined with yours as if my self were something that I am not, someone other, separate enough from me that I can enjoy it for what it is with you and does with you and enjoys with you. I enjoy my self like I enjoy yours. 231
Not having fun, or having not-fun With the apparently unlimited opportunities for fun offered to us every moment, it is often puzzling that there are times when we actually choose not to have it. Fun is so, well, fun. Why, when we could so easily be having fun this very minute, would we choose to have anything else? Sure, there are many, many things to be worried about, to be angry about, even – poverty, injustice, callousness, selfishness, greed, disease, the myriad of miseries. But none of those preclude fun. As so many people who have devoted so much of their lives and times to helping people attest to – the work, as hard and sobering as it can be, is most often fun of the greatest, deepest, and most profound ilk. And yet, from time to time, we get grumpy. We get so grumpy that we reject rejoicing, deny delighting, and all but celebrate suffering. The worse thing one can do when one feels the need to be grumpy is to deny the grump – privately or publicly. The best, not only to acknowledge it (again both privately and publicly), but to embrace it. Letting people know that you are feeling grumpy helps them give you the space you need to wallow, and gives them the permission to acknowledge the existence of the not-yet-fun in their own lives and loves. Letting your self and the world-at-hand make it more fun. Just as the easiest way to have fun is to start with the things that are already fun, the easiest way to develop the art of making things fun is to start with things that are meant to be fun in the first place. Since games and toys are purportedly for that very purpose, they are the best tools to use in your exploration of fun-making. A next step would be to make games from things that aren’t meant to be either games or toys. For example, you can make a game you know out of things that really have nothing to do with that game. Then there’s making games out of things that aren’t games at all. This is close to the ultimate way to create fun, generally engaged in by those who find themselves on what I seem to be calling a playful path. For an especially tasty example, there’s dessert-sharing, which is actually a game-like, playful thing friends and families might do together at a restaurant, ordering a bunch of different desserts, and then giving each other tastes, as requested. Which could lead one almost inexorably to the aforementioned game of Dessert Roulette. 232
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A Playful Path Bernard Louis DeKove
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Contents Prelude 13 A Playful Path
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Play 147 The Sense of Play 149 Life
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Your inner Tire Swing 268 Your Inne
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how cold and wet it would be, you t
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The final section (Fun) generalizes
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A playful path “A playful path is
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caught, even, and we pause just as
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No guardrails hath the path There's
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Life and death on your playful path
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that it, too, had been repurposed
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Playfulness Playfulness isn’t rea
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Wonder The entrance to your playful
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But the payoff, the payoff! Taking
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Play playfully Playfulness opens yo
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world yoga with laughter and games
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Playing together When it comes to p
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Playfulness and humor Our sense of
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Practicing Playfulness “The Path
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Applauding leaves Here’s a story
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Toilet Paper Tug of War In my earli
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Dayeinu, the game There are some pa
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Playing with rejection Even rejecti
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The Out-Blessing game Trying to out
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Being Blessed When my wonderful fri
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Human Spring Played in pairs. Stand
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Follow the Follower Turn on some ge
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Food Theatre 1) Prepare at least fi
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P.S. You can’t make your self mor
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A Theory of Games “Fun is better
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it was all about acting like you wa
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the pursued as well as the pursuer.
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The way of games The more I played
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Games as a way of understanding Luc
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The wisdom of games Ever since I di
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Hide and Seek The hider acts as if
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to find the belt became the master
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Braving the game It takes bravery t
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and laughter as a spiritual experie
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very much bigger, so very much more
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Cooperation and competition So, let
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Loving competition One of the games
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Games are for Fun As I might have h
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The Fun-Focused game When we talk a
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admiration, of shared fun. When chi
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The Slanty Line principle There’s
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The friendly game When I think of a
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The evolving game Some games evolve
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Or, if you have a multilingual grou
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a circle) and assumes the last numb
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Of games and players One thing you
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114 Cooperative games There are bas
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We’ve made it a rule that you’r
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Of course, there are still more var
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On the other hand, sometimes it’s
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All games are cooperative Each game
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On being IT Take tag, for example.
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Funny Games “...for the truth wil
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Hug Tag Somebody’s IT. Maybe even
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Roshambo Then there’s Roshambo, f
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Rock-Scissors-Paper Tag Which bring
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Something That Beats Something Else
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And when those fail, grab as many t
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When people bump into each other, t
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eally: a Fred, a Pizza, a Furblik).
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The fun also rises Fun is our most
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144
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146
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enefit from following such a path -
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Life is play We know that play is f
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Master players Many people have com
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Play and getting paid to play On ge
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Playing like a grownup You know peo
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Innocent intimacy I’m especially
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• the art and science of fun •
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The same is true of the human herd.
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Play and death Dying isn’t fun. B
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well, joy and comfort in each other
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ers’ and each other’s. Rules an
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Coliberation When we play or work o
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The shared Whee What am I doing whe
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hang-gliding, bungee-jumping, rock-
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Bill taught me this. Was this. A fl
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Page 181 and 182: Finding Fun Fun is wherever you are
Page 183 and 184: knowing when to start a new game so
Page 185 and 186: The laws of fun Let’s divide ever
Page 187 and 188: Fun, happiness, joy, bliss When you
Page 189 and 190: Becoming Gifted On my way to work I
Page 191 and 192: The Kinds of fun “All for fun, an
Page 193 and 194: The kind of fun that makes you laug
Page 195 and 196: As fun as fun can be As fun as fun
Page 197 and 198: Funny fun Probably one of my favori
Page 199 and 200: Naughty fun When we’ve talked abo
Page 201 and 202: Nachas and Mechaiyeh xxx In my atte
Page 203 and 204: Fantastic Fun It’s fun to fantasi
Page 205 and 206: Beauty There’s something fun abou
Page 207 and 208: Cruel fun I’m not sure if it’s
Page 209 and 210: Good fun Good fun is a healing kind
Page 211 and 212: Minor fun Let's pretend that there
Page 213 and 214: Dizzy fun I started thinking about
Page 215 and 216: Fun with your self Some games we pl
Page 217 and 218: Fun with a bunch of others Then, th
Page 219 and 220: Ziggy Zah! Repeat: Kehaygeza Kehayg
Page 221 and 222: The Fun of Fun “Don’t let the h
Page 223 and 224: Whee! When you find your self in th
Page 225 and 226: The sense of fun People talk about
Page 227 and 228: Which makes you think of course abo
Page 229 and 230: The spirit of fun Fun is a spiritua
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Page 235 and 236: ones. In fact, bringing the minor t
Page 237 and 238: Seven ways to make almost anything
Page 239 and 240: The reminding Which brings me to th
Page 241 and 242: Between us Paying attention to each
Page 243 and 244: The School o’ Fun Let’s start w
Page 245 and 246: Fun work I’m not convinced that e
Page 247 and 248: Of fun and games The world that we
Page 249 and 250: If I were the One and the One were
Page 251 and 252: The Oaqui explain(s) fun According
Page 253 and 254: The Not-Yet fun Fun is the key. But
Page 255 and 256: Two Players - a Oaqui tale I asked
Page 257 and 258: The Therapeutics of Primal Glee, ac
Page 259 and 260: Appendix “Play is how the mind mi
Page 261 and 262: My oral coronation There I was, lyi
Page 263 and 264: The Inner Inner City Amuse my self,
Page 265 and 266: Building your inner playground As w
Page 267 and 268: Your Inner Swingset Congratulations
Page 269 and 270: Your Inner Tire Swing Imagine your
Page 271 and 272: Control Button two: Changing locati
Page 273 and 274: Your Inner Sandbox Before we go any
Page 275 and 276: Preparing your Inner playground for
Page 277 and 278: Enter Silly and Serious At last, he
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Page 281 and 282: Silly and Serious get scared Silly
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Serious And Silly meet Naughty and
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Silly plays grownup One of the big
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that was as good at being silly as
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Your Inner Thespian So there you ar
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er end. Wrong would simply keep on
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Endnotes i Almost everything you ne
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xxvi Children’s Games in Street a
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supposed to be doing, with the fun
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ing sessions, organize ideas and de
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