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eminding me of my first Ob/Gyn, who talked about i ogs,
wheels, and operations until I left screaming silently, hysterical,
womb-panicked by his imposition of cold structure.
Some of the students show an acolyte's reverence, a sense
of my skin as envelope, and life beating warm beneath it.
Others want a map, a compass; certitudes of definition and
diagnosis. A few stay humble, and they are my favorites.
Because it is humility I am learning myself, in this clinical
act of prostitution. I ease into routine, dropping my gown
readily for each new student, but what replaces embarrassment
is neither arrogance nor indifference.
This is my body, narrow-shouldered, fair-skinned, with
full, pale-nippled breasts and arms freckled darker beside
them. Not one of these clinicians can reduce this body to
certainty; what lies beneath sight is closer to spirit than flesh.
Like post-modern faith, it requires a gentle probing that
takes nothing for granted, overlaps its own circles, stops short
of center.
I can teach them what I'm told: the steps of the exam, the
danger of inappropriate touch, the consummate need for
courtesy and order. But how do I teach them that my body
has a life of its own That together, my body and I harden,
swell, fall, soften, give suck—and none of that can be deconstructed
or controlled. Read the textbook, but never forget:
The female body is as mysterious as the soul.
And as shameless. •
Jeannette Batz is an award-winning journalist who writes about
feminist and social issues for The Riverfront Times, a progressive
weekly in St. Louis. She participated in the clinical program at
Washington University School of Medicine last year, while finishing
her doctorate in American studies.
Natural
Childbirth:
From Option
to Orthodoxy
BY NICOLE BOKAT
"I did it!" a beaming Elizabeth announced to our mother's
group."Chloe was born naturally''The other women clustered
around mother and baby, nodding in approval that
Elizabeth had passed the childbirth test with flying colors.
Once again, a feeling of alienation crept over me. Pregnant
with my second child, I planned on requesting anesthetics
the moment my labor pain got too intense.
Unlike me, many women today strive to have natural
childbirth. Even Maria Maples "had no anesthetics," Donald
Trump bragged to The New York Times. The most popular
way of achieving this goal is through Lamaze training; to
distract the laboring mother by focusing her attention on
complicated breathing techniques. According to a 1992 article
in Forbes magazine, half of the parents of the four million
babies born in 1991 went through Lamaze training. This figure
doubled from 25% in 1987. Why are we so caught up in
the trend
If all things come in cycles, then our culture is immersed
in a growing moralism when it comes to motherhood and,
as a by-product, childbirth. Having proven that we can be
independent, high functioning, high earning, and aerobically
fit, women are also striving, once again, to excel at motherhood—beginning
with our marvelous feats of endurance in
the delivery room. How many other long, arduous procedures
do people brag about surviving without the benefit of
modern medicine Has anyone ever heard of "natural openheart
surgery" How about a "natural vasectomy"
While avoiding drugs to minimize the risk to one's baby
is the underlying aim of natural childbirth, conquering the
process has, inadvertently, become a status symbol. Having a
child, "naturally," is considered a badge of honor among
some mothers; perhaps this is similar to surviving a bullet
among men who've been to war. The more militant portray
triumphant veterans of childbirth battles in grandiose terms,
conjuring up images of Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, or the
Mighty Lioness of the Jungle. But, even for the more mainstream,
"natural childbirth" has become a catch phrase; one
that appeals to the "good mother" in us. What has been lost
is the message of the women's movement: Every woman
should be free to make her own choices about pregnancy
and motherhood without being judged.
Yet, too many pregnancy books, peers, and care providers
insist that if we fail at natural childbirth, we are settling for
an inferior experience or, worse, exposing our infants to
potential risks. Tracy Hotchner's Pregnancy and Childbirth is
representative of a slew of guides for expectant mothers.
The author advises women to try and avoid medication,
warning that any drug might harm the baby.Yet, in the next
breath she explains that maternal anxiety—a reaction to pain
and fear—can adversely affect labor. Enjoying every minute
of your labor is thus the only guilt-free choice.
36 ON THE ISSUES WINTER 1995