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CUTTING SOME SLACK NANETTE GARTRELL Take a Seat, Boys! The concern last spring about penises, both severed and saved, reminded me of my long-held belief that male urination has not kept pace with 20th-century plumbing. Whereas standing may have been sensible in evolutionary terms for quick-release moments (like chasing prey across the plains) or for marking territory in prehistoric times, modern porcelain conveniences cannot accommodate the carelessness of males who stand while urinating. Any woman who has lived with males knows that most do not confine their urine to the bowl, and someone—usually a woman—ends up mopping the mess. Why do we train boys to urinate in a standing position when, even as adults, they cannot perform the function with precision Though some males have been taught by the women in their lives to clean up after themselves, they're a distinct minority. Most residential toilets used by boys or men are cleaned by their mothers, female partners, sisters, or housekeepers. Something is gravely wrong with this picture. And so, for approximately 25 years, I've nudged, cajoled, and rallied friends and relatives to teach their boys to sit while Helping peeing. men I began contemplating sedentary urination when Nixon was president. A lesbian friend was toilet adjust to training her two-year-old son. 20th-century Recalling countless bespattered toilet seats he had forgotten to raise, I plumbing. suggested that life might be more pleasant all around if her child simply sat down, thereby confining his output to the bowl. She marveled at the novelty of the idea, but worried that her child would have yet another problem "fitting in" with other boys—since he was already destined to confront homophobia at school. A friend of mine knows a woman who stands—straddling and facing the John—when she pees. Apparently, she adopted this stance as a threeyear-old after her grandfather told her that "the crabs" •would bite her tushy if she sat down. With scanty formal evidence to go on, I suspect she may have even greater difficulty confining her urine to the bowl than standing males do. Unfortunately, she was unavailable for comment. Luckily, she's an anomaly. To check the heartbeat of America on the subject of male urination, I surveyed a few men who stand, a few who sit. Bill, a white, 44-year-old construction worker who stands, complained about using stalls when the urinals are full (in theaters, for example) because "most guys pee all over the place...they never hit the toilet...they even miss the urinal." Unlike their peers, he and his brother long ago learned to clean up after themselves, including the toilet, since their mother worked outside the home. Fred, a 41-year-old chemist, objected to my suggestion that public urinals simply be dismantled. They are, he reported, more convenient. But he acknowledged that "The overall issue is the lack of societal pressure on males to clean up after ourselves. An emphasis on general fastidiousness would eliminate the controversy altogether and would have a carryover impact—if you clean the toilet/floor after urinating, you are more likely to clean the sink after shaving, or clean dishes after eating." Helpfully, he pointed out that toilets need to be oval and elongated if men are to sit while urinating, in order to allow for manual direction of the flow. "Sitting is simply more comfortable," cheered Michael, a self-described "fanatically tidy gay man." He noted that it's much easier to contain the flow while seated, especially with a morning erection. "It's better all around. You don't have to clean up pubic hair that falls outside the toilet, your bathroom doesn't smell, and your pants don't get wet because it shakes off better." Meanwhile, Alex, a 22-year-old Chinese-Philippino-Mexican American, switched to sedentary urination several years ago for religious reasons. "One of the Buddhist teachings is that women live longer because they sit down to pee," he explained. "I have been sitting ever since I learned that. It really is more peaceful." Excepting the first couple examples, America has clearly reached a consensus: Sedentary urination is cleaner, neater, and more peaceful. Yet challenging the status quo is daunting to many men (and many parents), raising concerns about conformity, masculinity, and patriotism. Standing with feet placed a shoulder's width apart is more soldierly, more aggressive, more determined. Sitting is more passive: The flanks are exposed. My cousin Aaron is embarrassed that an episode of urethritis 15 years ago forced him to sit to direct his stream more effectively. He taught his son to stand. Why "Because that is —f^ J what the other kids do." But when I ffj^H asked 4-year-old Nathan about his IJlfei preferred mode of urinating, he I I||H informed me that he was comfortable • II sitting or standing. "But 1 want to tell EM'£1& y° u •' secret," he said in a hushed .^B^lli-5'.-l tone. "Sometimes when nobody is around I stand on the toilet and pee into the sink." • Dr. Gartrell, editor of the recently published book, Bringing Ethics Alive, is associate clinical professor of psychiatry, University of California at San Francisco. 60 ON THE ISSUES WINTER 1995
• •MEN'S HEALTH ISAWOMEN'S ISSUE The book that helps you help yourself The book doctors don't want you to read The book that started a revolution M V M enopause edicine*^ ©Feel Hoaithy © Look Younger j Live Longer THE •- MENOPftUSi INDUSTRY How the Medical Establishment Exploits Women i IOO« IHM ITkBIED IH[ WOMIN'l MIIITH REVOLUTION 25T L/TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION The . Doctor's )& Case Against the Pill . oncrm -iiii ihr pill Thrrull fiuro^mpiy Unda Ojeda, Ph.D. Menopause Million! Medicine could be described as a wellness bible. It really gives women an overall picture of their bodies and how to keep [them] running to optimum proficiency. As menstruation is the beginning of a woman s reproductive cycle. menopause should be seen as the culmination, not the bitter ending. — Whole Life Times available now at your local bookstore The depth of knowledge and thoughtful analysis presented in these pages can empower us. The questioning of newly 'orthodox' wisdom can provide us with the tools and resources for evaluating facile advice, whether from popular articles or from our health providers. Every woman at or approaching midlife must read this book. n — Paula B. Doress-Worters, co-author of The New Our Bodies, Ourselves Feminist author Barbara Seaman was the first to call the pill into question in ways that got the publics attention. The influential book described the littleknown studies that linked oral contraceptives to blood clots, strokes, [and] cancer.... When Congress held hearings on the pill in 1970, Seaman and other activists disrupted them, demanding that women be allowed to speak. — Flora Davis, author of Moving the Mountain: The Women's Movement in America Since 1960 or order direct from HUNTER HOUSE INC., PUBLISHERS RO. BOX 2914 ALAMEDA, CA 94501-0914 8 510-865-5282 fax: 510-865-4295 toll-free: 800-266-5592 AND THESE BOOKS ARE ON THE ISSUES
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"Now is the time. This is the hour.
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CRAFTY She used to be on welfare. N
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COLUMNIST ELAYNE RAPPING The Hillar
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COLUMNIST PHYLLIS CHESLER The Dead
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