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CIRCUS MAXIMUS
the world series’
foulest balls
A LOOK BACK AT AMERICA’S FAVORITE PASTIME: DOING STUPID THINGS IN AND AROUND BASEBALL STADIUMS.
1920
Brooklyn Dodgers vs.
Cleveland Indians
≥Hall of Fame pitcher
Rube Marquard was
arrested before Game 4
of the World Series for
scalping six tickets for
$350. He was slapped with
a whopping fi ne of $3.80!
And in case you think he
got off easy, that would be
$40 in today’s money.
1933
New York Giants vs.
Washington Senators
≥Senators left fi elder
Heinie Manush ended an
argument with umpire
Charley Moran by grabbing
Moran’s elastic-band bow
tie and snapping it back at
the ump’s neck. Moran
tossed him, but not before
Manush responded, “Nyuk,
nyuk, nyuk!”
1961
CincinNati Reds vs.
New York Yankees
≥As it was the height of
the Cold War, Pennsylvania
Supreme Court justice
Michael Musmanno sent a
letter to Reds manager
Fred Hutchinson pleading
with him to change his
team’s name, worried
what a headline like “Reds
Defeat Yanks!” might do
to national morale. No
worries: The Yanks beat
the Commie bastards.
1985
St. Louis Cardinals vs.
Kansas City Royals
≥With the Cards up three
games to two and leading
in the ninth inning, umpire
Don Denkinger botched
a call at fi rst base,
allowing the Royals to
come back and tie the
series. Then, in Game 7,
Denkinger tossed Cards’
ace Joaquin Andujar for
arguing calls. Andujar, per
league regulations,
destroyed a clubhouse
toilet in response.
28 MAXIM NOVEMBER 2010
1990
Cincinnati Reds vs.
Oakland A’s
≥What with the Nazi
memorabilia, homophobia,
and boozing, Reds owner
Marge Schott wasn’t
exactly known for her
sharp mind. Before Game
2, Schott raised the bar
by dedicating the game to
U.S. troops in the “Middle
West.” Get home safe…
from Kansas, brave
soldiers.
1992
Atlanta Braves vs.
Toronto Blue Jays
≥With America and Canada
facing off for the fi rst time
in the fall classic, the U.S.
Marine Corps Color Guard
made a funny by carrying
the Canadian fl ag upside
down. When the series
returned to Toronto,
maple-syrup-swilling
vendors did brisk business
selling fans “upside down”
versions of old glory.
Pretty original, eh?
2000
New York Yankees vs.
New York Mets
≥Like Buffy the Vampire
Slayer letting loose on a
vampire batter, Yankees
ace Roger Clemens hurled
a jagged shard of Mike
Piazza’s bat at him in a
display of what was
defi nitely not a case of
’roid rage. Because the
Rocket never juiced.
Are we clear on this?
2009
New York Yankees vs.
Philadelphia Phillies
≥In a rousing show of
home-team love, The
Philadelphia Inquirer ran a
full-page ad screaming,
“Congratulations, Phillies!
Back-to-Back Champs.”
Problem was, the Phils
lost. Inquirer staffers
apparently missed “climax
control” condom day at
Citizens Bank Park.
pop
quiz
mma move
or
kama sutra position
>We pulled terms from
the Kama Sutra and
MMA Mastery: Ground and
Pound (in stores now!). Can
you tell which will bring you
pain and which will bring
you an orgasm and which
might bring you both?
The Pair of Tongs
The Twining of A
Creeper
The Turtle ride
Posture inside
bottom scissors
The blow of a boar
The blow of a bull
The sporting of a
sparrow
The Top Saddle
The Rear Mount
The Throne Pass
The Rock of Gilbraltar
The Sternal Arrow
ANSWER: THEY’RE ALL MMA
TERMS EXCEPT “THE
TWINING OF A CREEPER”