other-side-of-deception-victor-ostrovsky

THE OTHER SIDE 0 1 1)EirPTIOS / 109My spirits were high when I got back to the hotel. It amazed me howI could be on an emotional high while walking so close to theedge. It was probably the old sense of power, which I hadn't feltfor some time. But the doubts I still had were giving me a pain in mygut. I was a pessimist by nature, though I led my life taking risks. Iwas curious to know what was happening in the Soviet embassy.I had little doubt they'd sent a communication to Moscow, passingon all the information collected in our meeting and asking for instructions.After spending some time in the hotel bar, I decided to stay inthat evening and not head out to the city. It was the first time I'dstayed at the hotel after the happy hour, and I was surprised at howthe place filled up. There was more to do in this little place than Icould have found in the city. I was sitting at a table meant for five,and it didn't take long for some newcomers to join me. I made a newgroup of friends: normal regular people, the kind you find in anyAmerican city: honest, fair, and very vulnerable. One was a paintingcontractor and another a slightly odd guy who had a part-time jobwith the city's gardening department; he was newly divorced andextremely high-strung.The contractor, a big burly guy, was friendly and very protective ofhis odd friend. He spent most of his time telling anyone who'd listenhow much money he had made that day-not working too hard. Infact, when he described what he'd done, it seemed to me he'd earnedevery penny he made. After he was finished telling about that, he wenton to talk about what was planned for tomorrow. Somehow the simplicityand basic integrity of these people was like a breath of fresh air.I envied their uncomplicated lives, the fact that they could plan fortomorrow with some certainty. Being in their presence rubbed some ofthat off on me. I couldn't help wondering what they would have saidhad they known who I really was and what I was up to.For the next four days, there was nothing. I was starting to getrestless and called Ephraim. He wasn't there, and the answeringmachine didn't take my call. By the fifth day, the line was disconnected.This could mean nothing but trouble. Were they on toEphraim at headquarters?Reacting to such a situation is the hardest thing to do. You are inwhat you might regard as a relatively safe situation in a fairly comfortableplace. Suddenly, without knowing whether there is a real dangeror just some mistake or mechanical problem, you must get up andleave it all behind. The odds are even that it is a mistake. The price fornot reacting to a real problem, however, is high.That morning, I had paid my hotel bill and realized that I hadabout fifty dollars left. I was starting to get very worried. It was onething to be disconnected, but it was far worse to be totally broke whileit happened.At that point, I had to consider the possibility that the gamblehadn't paid off. Even though there was nothing new when I had spokento Bella, and that was somewhat reassuring, I had no doubt that ifthe Mossad learned about my trip to the Soviet embassy, they wouldnot want to tip me off. I could see it in my mind's eye: Ephraim, nowtrying to get his ass out of the fire, getting on the bandwagon and suggestingways to bring me in. If there was anyone I should worry about,it was he.At this point, if the Mossad was aware of my contact with theKGB, they'd want above all to have a talk with me and measure theamount of damage my escapade had caused. That's a normal procedurecalled damage control. On the other hand, if it were left up to anexposed Ephraim, he'd want to have me eliminated. That was naturaland very understandable; I knew I would have done the same. I had todisappear and stay in contact at the same time. I wanted to see whatmight happen in the hotel, but not be around if anything did.There was a small plaza in front of the office building across thestreet from the hotel. Remembering that the Mossad had access to thereservation setup of just about every hotel chain in the world, I had nodoubt that my exact location could be found in a matter of hours withnothing more than a few phone calls. I decided to spend my days inthe hotel and the nights on a bench on the edge of the small plazaoverlooking the hotel. If they were going to come for me, it would beat night, and if that happened, I wanted to see it not from the confinesof my room but from a safe distance.