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"I don't believe what you did to those squirrels was part of an act. I think you did it because you love to do it."Suddenly Peter wept into his hands. Val assumed that he was pretending, but then she wondered. It waspossible, wasn't it, that he loved her, and that in this time of terrifying opportunity he was willing to weakenhimself before her in order to win her love. He's manipulating me, she thought, but that doesn't mean he isn'tsincere. His cheeks were wet when he took his hands away, his eyes rimmed in red. "I know," he said. "It's whatI'm most afraid of. That I really am a monster. I don't want to be a killer but I just can't help it."She had never seen him show such weakness. You're so clever, Peter. You saved your weakness so you coulduse it to move me now. And yet it did move her. Because if it were true, even partly true. then Peter was not amonster, and so she could satisfy her Peter-like love of power without fear of becoming monstrous herself. Sheknew that Peter was calculating even now, but she believed that under the calculations he was telling the truth. Ithad been hidden layers deep, but he had probed her until he found her trust."Val, if you don't help me, l don't know what I'll become. But if you're there, my partner in everything, you cankeep me from becoming -- like that. Like the bad ones."She nodded. You are only pretending to share power with me, she thought, but in fact i have power over you.even though you don't know it. "I will. I'll help you."***As soon as Father got them both onto his citizen's access, they began testing he waters. They staved away fromthe nets that required use of a real name. That wasn't hard because real names only had to do with money. Theydidn't need money. They needed respect, and that they could earn. With false names, on the right nets, they couldbe anybody. Old men, middle-aged women, anybody, as long as they were careful about the way they wrote. Allthat anyone would see were their words, their ideas. Every citizen started equal, on the nets.They used throwaway names with their early efforts. not the identities that Peter planned to make famous andinfluential. Of course they were not invited to take part in the great national and international political forums --they could only be audiences there until they were invited or elected to take part. But they signed on andwatched, reading some of the essays published by the great names, witnessing the debates that played acrosstheir desks.第 140 页 共 340 页http://www.en8848.com.cn/ 原 版 英 语 阅 读 网