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第一篇 回顾与展望 - the Educator Login page!

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PADDLING THE OLD KNEW, ALL MY LOVE TURKEY LIPS,VALDON'T WRITE BACK THEY'LL PROBLY SIKOWANALIZE YOUR LETTER.Obviously it was written with <strong>the</strong> full approval of <strong>the</strong> teachers. But <strong>the</strong>re was no doubt it was written by Val.The spelling of psychoanalyze, <strong>the</strong> epi<strong>the</strong>t slumbitch for Peter, <strong>the</strong> joke about pronouncing knew like canoe wereall things that no one could know but Val.And yet <strong>the</strong>y came pretty thick, as though someone wanted to make very sure that Ender believed that <strong>the</strong> letterwas genuine. Why should thry be so eager if it's <strong>the</strong> real thing?It isn't <strong>the</strong> real thing anyway. Even if she wrote it in her own blood, it isn't <strong>the</strong> real thing because <strong>the</strong>y made herwrite it. She'd written before, and <strong>the</strong>y didn't let any of those letters through. Those might have been real, but thiswas asked for, this was part of <strong>the</strong>ir manipulation.And <strong>the</strong> despair filled him again. Now he knew why. Now he knew what he hated so much. He had no controlover his own life. They ran everything. They made all <strong>the</strong> choices. Only <strong>the</strong> game was left to him, that was all,everything else was <strong>the</strong>m and <strong>the</strong>ir rules and plans and lessons and programs, and all he could do was go thisway or that way in battle. The one real thing, <strong>the</strong> one precious real thing was his memory of Valentine, <strong>the</strong>person who loved him before he ever played a game, who loved him whe<strong>the</strong>r <strong>the</strong>re was a bugger war or not, and<strong>the</strong>y had taken her and put her on <strong>the</strong>ir side. She was one of <strong>the</strong>m now.He hated <strong>the</strong>m and all <strong>the</strong>ir games. Hated <strong>the</strong>m so badly that he cried, reading Val's empty asked-for letteragain. The o<strong>the</strong>r boys in Phoenix Army noticed and looked away. Ender Wiggin crying? That was disturbing.Something terrible was going on. The best soldier in any army, lying on his bunk crying. The silence in <strong>the</strong> roomwas deep.Ender deleted <strong>the</strong> letter, wiped it out of menuory and <strong>the</strong>n punched up <strong>the</strong> fantasy game. He was not sure whyhe was so eager to play <strong>the</strong> game, to get to <strong>the</strong> End of <strong>the</strong> World, but he wasted no time getting <strong>the</strong>re. Only whenhe coasted on <strong>the</strong> cloud, skimming over <strong>the</strong> autumnal colors of <strong>the</strong> pastoral world, only <strong>the</strong>n did he realize what第 161 页 共 340 页http://www.en8848.com.cn/ 原 版 英 语 阅 读 网

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