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"It was just a dream.""Mazer, I don't want to keep dreaming these things. I'm afraid to sleep. I keep thinking of things that I don'twant to remember. My whole life keeps playing out as if I were a recorder and someone else wanted to watch themost terrible parts of my life.""We can't drug you if that's what you're hoping for. I'm sorry if you have bad dreams. Should we leave the lighton at night?""Don't make fun of me!" Ender said. "I'm afraid I'm going crazy."The doctor was finished with the bandage. Mazer told him he could go. He went."Are you really afraid of that?" Mazer asked.Ender thought about it and wasn't sure."In my dreams," said Ender, "I'm never sure whether I'm really me.""Strange dreams are a safety valve, Ender. I'm putting you under a little pressure for the first time in your life.Your body is finding ways to compensate, that's all. You're a big boy now. It's time to stop being afraid of thenight.""All right," Ender said. He decided then that he would never tell Mazer about his dreams again.The days wore on, with battles every day, until at last Ender settled into the routine of the destruction ofhimself. He began to have pains in his stomach. They put him on a bland diet, but soon he didn't have an appetitefor anything at all. "Eat," Mazer said, and Ender would mechanically put food in his mouth. But if nobody told第 300 页 共 340 页http://www.en8848.com.cn/ 原 版 英 语 阅 读 网