CHRONICLE

FAMILY
FOCUS
ADVICE FOR PARENTS
The
Terrible
Twos
NEED A LIFELINE?
Wherever you live in
Northern Ireland, if you,
or someone you know is in
distress or despair, contact
Lifeline on: 0808 808 8000
Trained counsellors will listen and help
immediately on the phone and follow up
with other support if necessary. This is
a confidential service and is available
24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Lifeline counsellors are experienced
in dealing with many issues including
trauma, suicide, self-harm, abuse,
depression and anxiety. You can call
about anything that may be causing
you concern.
For information about local support
services in your area click on http://
mentalhealthservices.nidirect.gov.uk/
QUESTION
My 18-month-old son has become
such a handful. He was such
a placid baby but now he has
started having screaming and crying
fits when he can’t have or do what he
wants. I didn’t know the ‘terrible twos’
could start so early – is this a normal
change in behaviour at his age?
ANSWER
Most children go through the
transition of baby to toddler
from around eighteen months to
three years. As you have discovered,
children can start to become more
wilful, testing the limits on how far they
can go. Toddlers like to have their own
way and can protest strongly when
they don’t get it but it is important
to remember that wanting to do
more things for himself is a normal
part of your son’s development.
Toddlers can express their anxiety,
anger and affection but become easily
frustrated when they find it difficult
to communicate their feelings with
others. It is also normal for them to
develop their own likes and dislikes
and to be possessive about their own
things - from a toddler’s point of view
the world revolves around them.
You will find that around this age your
son will also become more aware of, and
interested in, other children. Developing
social skills, such as how to share, take
turns and make friends, takes time and
practice. Play is an important social
activity that will help your son develop
these skills and learn how to get along
with others. Young children also like
to copy adults and frequently play at
being grown-up, which explains their
interest in toy kitchens, lawnmowers
and doctor’s kits. They will also want to
explore and investigate their world but
will lack the ability to think ahead. This
means that climbing steep steps is great
fun but they cannot think ahead to the
problem of how to get back down safely.
Normal age appropriate behaviour can
be easily misinterpreted as a toddler
being naughty or challenging. Frequent
reasons behind toddlers' challenging
behaviour can include tiredness, hunger,
boredom, feeling left out, needing your
attention, or not understanding what’s
going on. Understanding the reason
why your son is behaving in a certain
way will help you know how to respond.
Parenting NI provides free confidential
support, guidance and counselling to
parents throughout Northern Ireland
dealing with family issues. Every
parent experiences difficulties from
time to time. Sometimes they may
seem small, but cause a lot of worry.
Sometimes they are major family
crises. In many cases it helps to talk
to someone outside the family.
If you are concerned about your
child's behaviour, family conflict,
the impact of separation, bullying
or any other family issue, contact
the freephone helpline 0808 8010
722 available Monday -Thursday
9am - 8pm & Friday 9am - 5pm.
For further information on the range
of services offered by Parenting NI,
including parenting programmes,
log onto: www.parentingni.org
or visit their Facebook page.
6 | Clanmil Housing Group