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Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper Along with my acquired brain injuries, quirky and annoying episodes started to occur. Uncontrollable, emotional episodes of crying and laughter would happen to me. It first surfaced during this trip while watching the Beauty and the Beast show at Disney’s Hollywood Studios. There was a seven- or eight-year-old handicapped girl sitting across from me. Her voice screeched with happiness and excitement at the show as her arms went flailing around (it looked like she was having a seizure, but she wasn’t). I looked at her with compassion, sorrow and understanding. Many others looked at her and her parents like RED LIGHTS. I wanted to confront them, but I couldn’t during the show. BOOM! The singing on stage mixed with my emotions for her and her family brought me into a burst of tears; the kind where your lips are pursed and a big explosion of air unexplainably shoots out. Some people looked at me. My daughters asked Laura, “Why is Daddy crying?” She gave them the simple explanation of, “Daddy just gets more emotional now,” which they seemed to accept. A few weeks later I saw a commercial about Pseudo Bulbar Affect (PBA). The commercial went on to explain how certain people may experience involuntary and sometimes uncontrollable episodes of laughter or crying after suffering a stroke or brain injury. I have identified certain songs being one of my major triggers for my crying episodes. I believe it’s because my family constantly played music while I was in my coma. Or, perhaps, I associate certain songs with happier moments before the aneurysm and stroke. Or, it’s just the irreversible brain damage. All I know is that I look like a blubbering idiot when it happens. The National Anthem is another song that brings me to tears, as Veterans are asked to stand and salute at sporting events. I proudly stand at attention saluting our flag during the anthem and hope the outburst doesn’t occur, but it always does. I can’t miss the anthem. I believe that if I miss it before the game, I should just go home. It’s not worth watching the game without honoring our flag first; I’ve always felt that way. I can’t even sing one of my favorite songs anymore: Frank Sinatra’s “That’s Life,” without bursting into tears. It even happens at my Page 110 of 167
Brain Go BOOM! Author/Survivor: John Cooper daughters’ school events or when we attend a play or a show. M now jokingly looks over at me when an emotional part of a movie comes up. She humorously awaits my inevitable whimpering crying episode. As for the laughing episodes, it’s hilarious. I was given a new hearty, bellowing and sometimes screechy new laugh with this PBA. My new laugh sounds like I should be in the cast in the movie Revenge of The Nerds. The good news is that it seems to be contagious. I think most people are laughing at my new laugh versus what we were laughing at in the first place. Even if it’s at my own expense, I enjoy making others laugh and I welcome these episodes without any regards to my pride, but I haven’t accepted the crying episodes yet. While in Disney’s EPCOT, I went on the ride, Mission Space. It was a phenomenal experience for me! Laura, however, was not happy that I had gone on that ride, let alone without her. A month after our Disney trip, I had a follow up appointment with one of my neurosurgeons who revisited the list of activities I could and could not do. No straining, no lifting over twenty-five pounds, no contact sports, refrain from all activities that could cause me to inadvertently bang my head, and by all means necessary, protect the right side of my head. Laura asked about rides and told her about my Mission Space escapade. The doctor emphatically stated, “You may only go on rides designated for children up to four years old!” The protruding two out of the seven aneurysm clips must be protected at all times. If hit hard enough, it could be BOOM!, lights out for Johnny. Page 111 of 167
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